I need ideas how to handle this situation.... very upset on this thing....

Dear friends,


Me, my husband, and my son are living away from my in laws and we are not in touch with my MIL, only FIL and BIL will come to our home and we dont go to their home. My mom will take care of my son when i am sleeping in the evening, am doing night shift work. For almost one year since we came out of my inlaws they dint ask anything, but after that my MIL started asking for my son in weekends. With much hesitation i left him there. He is not spending any quality time there except watching tv and they does not even know how to feed him, they wont even give him fruits and all. Somebody has to prompt him to eat fruits. and he will be with me for 4 days and other three days (friday evening to monday morning) he will be with them. As he has gone to UKG, i put him in dance class and he goes there irregularly and almost only one day. but i dont like sending him to them. in this issue i have been having so much fights (weekly fights) with my DH. He says he hates his mom, but for his dad's sake i have to leave my son to them. he is around 66 years old and he will be having shivering in his hands and once he fell off his twowheeler when going with my son. other things also i adjusted and left. but due to these issues only my son is getting affected, getting tired from traveling around 30 km per day standing. As usual my MIL feeds him what i have said not to e.g. noodles, chocolates, chips, and oily sncks... i hate that... i wont allow my son to watch tv more than an hour, but there the whole day he watches TV, like this many issues, DH is aware of all this. Ok stop. leave this..


DH will always do things on his own, and he never hears me in any matter, but in this matter alone he says he hears me word by word or he does this purposefully. he is saying that he is checking on me what am doing and how am reacting to each situation. I fear that my life has become a test for me and he is going to give me pass mark.... I hate this.:-(


I will tell u what had happened this week. As in dance class they are preparing for a function, they told that there will be class on sunday also, that too at the end of the saturday class. but as usual, my FIL was waiting for me to drop my son. It became 7.45 p.m. when they announced that we have sunday class. i told this to DH and told him that we will send him next week. But u see what my FIL told, "he is going to pick my son up and go all the way about 15 km from my home and sleep and at 9.30 a.m.next day he will again get my son to dance class, again 15 km, he is going to dance for 1-1/2 hours and again after dance class, my FIL will pick him and go to their house (15 km), and then as usual sunday evening we will pick him up to our home half way," for my son within 24 hours 60 km of travel in a 2wheeler, he is a 5-year-old boy. think of his situation, and monday morning he has to go to school. i told them at night itself he can go next week. but without listening to me, my FIL came and waited for my son halfway, but we came home at 12.30, had lunch and my son slept.


I wanted to know whether am right or wrong?


My DH is accusing me that am sending him to my mom's home often, but not sending to them. last week itself he stayed there and came. My mom home is just 1.5 km away.


Please advise me elders.. I do not know to handle this.


am afraid of weekends. afraid my DH's moodswings and tantrums




apart from this he is a better one.. he cares for me, he saves for me, loves me and all...


Thanks for reading such a long post, but without this situation cannot be understood.


only if u understand my situation u can help me...

 

Hi GG..

u r right... u perfectly understood what is in my mind.. tx for reading and replying... i will try this...

 

Guys even more ideas and suggestions accepted.

 

Hi Vaidehi...


Thank you for ur reply... Will tell you.. DH stopped spking to his mom 2 years back, so all he is doing for his dad alone. I have already told him that ask his dad to come here and stay here for 2 days and spend with my son.. but he wont do that. those people are unbelievable. they wont evn eat here (ajeeb) so my husband wont go there, so that point failed... final is asking my son about this... good one.. will do

 

Hi FM..

what i meant about my DH is he acts erratic only in this matter, others and all he is an ideal husband... maybe he thinks i am not respecting his father's wish at this elder age. will this be okay? if i send my son on Sunday alone in alternative weeks. but they are not satisfied, they want him weekly... it is no issue to me to send him weekly if he is free. he is busy with dance classes, they shd understand and leave him to take rest... Seniors giving much suggestions... happy to share and get such things from u dear frds... am relieved now... getting so much directions to think....