Do you really believe that widows and divorce can cast evil eye??

These idiotic customs were made to keep these now single woman under control.Like most things about our culture...it is all about control of the younger generation /weaker by the stronger and more powerful.Put in an element of superstition and fear...and you have even the sympathizers falling in line.It is really sad that people kick the most vulnerable at their weakest time.

 

Personally, i don't think there is such thing as "casting evil eye". No one can change anyone's fate. If people could "cast an evil eye" and be successful, why wouldn't they cast it on the most beautiful or the most handsome or the most wealthy person or the most intelligent person. Any customs/ritual based on such thought should be stopped.

In US, i haven't seen any distinction. I have seen young woman whose husband passed away young, living a normal life (of course she chooses not to wear heavy dresses or saree) but other than that she wears mangalsutra, bindi, bangles, makeup etc. She has two children and is bringing them up while running her parlor.

In India, the discrimination is still there though in big cities, it is less. But women have started to wear bindi, gold bangles, etc.

I think in a generation or two (Maybe starting or generation), all such customs will go away.

 

I also read that post and I felt how idiotic some people are. I have one cousin and one cousin bhabhi both widowed in a very young age. Both mine and my brothers wedding we made sure that both of them are fully involved in all the customs. So that they do not feel left out because of this stupid superstition. I wish women had more compassion and understanding towards each other. My fil passed away a few years back and mil said she is not gonna dye her hair, I told you need not stop anything. Fils death has nothing to do with your hair. I said you should continue it for yourself. My mils niece said do not listen to your bahu she wants people to curse you and laugh at you. My mil made a big scene out of that I am very inconsiderate towards her. I was like bhad mein jao I mean go to hell.

 

I wonder who voted yes. Please introduce yourself we must educate you on this one.

 

I feel many especially in India feel so.

When my brother was married I was a divorcee. In our community, sister of the groom ties two knots in mangalsutra.From my brother's wife family an elderly person asked my mom is your daughter going to tie the knot. My mom broke into tears just hearing that. I stepped out of the mandapam during muhurtham, not because that I think I have an evil eye. Since this question was asked by brides family, I knew they wouldn't be happy if I had tied the knot.

 

I always suspect several possibilities from the old days (every culture has these btw):

1. Someone in power (ruler, religious leader, etc) was mentally ill and imposed these things and after a few years no one questioned it.

2. Soothsayers made lot of money off this stuff: big business.

3. Sheer superstition of the ignorant.

4. Some one or few acted improperly and then everyone was tarred with that brush with everyone accepting it after a few years.

 

Never..widows are victims of circumstances. They should not be looked upon as ill-omens. I am strongly against these misconceptions. These age-old beliefs have chained our country since ages and although we boast of our broad mindedness, modern outlook and all, its a pity to see people hanging onto these even now. My sympathies are with them.

Sorry to sound harsh.

 

Hello, ladies. This thread was started in response to one of my answers in another thread. I posted the below answer in the same thread, but I don't think you've read it. So, reposting here. I don't think I said anything wrong in particular about divorcees / widows. Read my reply below.

I myself have gone through a terrible divorce and happily married now for the 2nd time. If someone said such a statement to me when I was divorced, or even now, I don't find that offensive at all. Why should I? They are not talking about me. Same way, I am not talking about all divorcees.

The reason my grandmom asked me to keep mangalsutra in is to ward off evil eye. And evil eye can come from anyone. In the same post, I also talked about married women being jealous as well. That's almost the majority of female population.

What I meant was, there are exceptions to every rule. And I was only referring to those exceptions. Please don't tell me that all divorcees, married women, unmarried women, widows are totally pure in their thoughts and never envy anyone else.

We live in a society where, even if a neighbour buys a new car, you can see a lot of envy. So, in a society where women tend to get defined by marriage (and we all know that's a horrible thing) it's only natural for women who are divorced to feel alienation and hence envious / jealous. It's almost a feeling of 'why me'.

I was separated from my husband at 21 and remarried at 27. I know what stigma is. I know how people behave and what kind of emotions it can induce. I lived my life happily and never bothered. I was never jealous of women who were married. But from a married person's point of view - there are two things - 1. Don't want to display my thaali and make the divorcee / widow / unmarried person feel bad - which is very sensible and sensitive thing and the 2. Warding off unwanted evil eye.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in being safe than sorry. These things matter if you believe in that sort of thing - negative vibes etc. If not, keep your mangalsutra outside - free world - democracy - no one's policing you - you can absolutely do as you please! It is indeed your life.

There is no reason for you to make sweeping judgements on my belief system and comment on my education level. It has nothing to do with any of these things. Live and let live. I never went and told any divorcee or widow - don't walk in front of me or anything. Having been in the same situation before - I am pretty inclusive.

 

Cutemonster- very nice thread.

I wish it was that easy to cast the so-called "evil eye" on others and then we could all cast "evil eye" on the really evil people and end all evilness.

With all the education and ability to reason, if one still believes in "evil eye", then God help them. And it is worth noting that only the single or divorced or widowed women are stigmatized but not the men.

Good for you that you stood up for your mother to do the wedding and seemantham rituals. No one can love us or wish us more happiness than our mother. That fact alone proves how stupid such beliefs are.

More over if just "envy" could snatch someone's happiness/ wealth/luck etc. , then I am sure no one could be successful or rich or happy or blessed in life. If we look around us, we can all see something in someone worth envying and if we could all cast a "evil eye" then everyone in the world will be miserable. Or is there some special school where women who went through the terrible tragedy of losing a spouse taught to cast "evil eye" on the happier women?