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Depressed Due to Breakup

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by AnkithaP, Oct 17, 2014.

  1. AnkithaP

    AnkithaP Junior IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I was in relationship with a guy. I loved him a lot. We broke up, it was his decision, the reason he gave was that we are fighting a lot. But it’s not true, we use to fight, definitely not too much. Suddenly one day he abandoned me. But I still like him & love him. This happened long back, 2 years ago. Since 2 years I’m very depressed. May be because of this mental trauma & depression I got hypothyroidism. My life has become lifeless.

    From 2 years I’m not in contact with him, don’t know where he is, where he is working, whether he married or not. Most of the time I keep thinking of him. On weekends we use to roam in Bangalore a lot. Now I’m unable to go out, because each & every place in bangalore reminds his memory. I feel sad.

    From 1 year parents are searching for groom, because of his memories I rejected so many grooms. After many days I liked one of the profile on matrimony website, but unfortunately he did not like me.

    Anyway I’m unable to forget my first love. Don’t know how to over come it.
     
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  2. shrivni

    shrivni Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Ankita,

    This would've happened in everyone's life. Don't worry, everything will be alryt. Believe me, I have been in the same situation and now happily married and having a kid. A very lovely family we are now.

    God knows, what to do and when to do. Just keep your heart open. The man meant for you will come in search for you and you will lead a very happy life.

    Luv and Hugs

    Shrivni
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    It shows that you have finally moved out of your first relationship, but somehow due to the "profile missed match" of the second upsets you, thus you keep on thinking of your first once again.

    See, you wouldn't have said OK to the second one, if you still love the first one the same. Someway or the other, your mind understands that it is important you forget your past. Please corporate with it.

    Yes, if your remain single with no one in your life then there are high chances that your mind will re-live with your ex partner. So, try to fill the gap. Find the love outside... May be through matrimonial sites, friends, or other marriage proposals.

    Once you find your partner, you will slowly forget your ex... That's life
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Ankitha...better to have a broken heart than a broken marriage dear. It may seem like an impossible task right now...but do try to forget and think it happened for the best.Keep yourself busy....go out with friends.
     
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  5. Shina

    Shina Gold IL'ite

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    Its important that u love your life partner but it is more important that he loves you. This person had clearly fallen out of love so would not have given u the happiness u deserve. Keep looking and be patient until u find someone who can make u happy.

    do not reject prospective suitors based on the fact that u r still hung up on ur ex. That will only delay finding the right person who will be able to sweep u off ur feet and make it possible to look at ur past without any regrets. All the best.

    and dont worry so much about hypothyroidism its a completely manageable condition and urs is borderline. All the best.
     
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  6. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    If he feels that you are fighting more in just few years of knowing each other..esp when you are both are deeply in love...and in the lovey dovey days..Just imagine what would be the scenario when you get married to him and the initial marriage glory fades and you fall into routine life..
    Life is not always the same..Be glad that you broke up and now you are more matured in understanding a guy and I am sure that you will not fall into traps anymore and you will be more practical from here on.
     
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  7. pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

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    No use crying over spilled milk .notdonesmiley
     
  8. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    hey,

    i too have same story. you know i married a guy in frustration of break up with my lover. i had physical relation also with him. so you can expect how much depression:oops: & frustration:bang i had. i will explain my thinking by that time. it will help you.


    1. i loved my self first compare to my BF.
    2. I thought that i am not missing him. he is missing me. he didn't get a girl like me in his life. that much i adjusted myself to him.
    3.i want to make him knew that how much fun & josh he had missed in his life because of his rejection.
    4. i want to know him, with out his presence also, i can be happy girl. but he can't with out me.
    5. in matrimony i searched for rich man(moneysmileywho with more salary) & suitable to my family levels in other points. luckily i got my DH. see hear my DH also bit shorter than my Lover, but fair & having more property than my lover.
    6. i had contact with my BF in friendly way & telling him about my happiness( actually which is not true in my soul) with my DH(even at time of engagement also) like meetings with my Dh & how my DH surprised me with gifts & how my DH showing love on me...how he is charming so on.....so my BF is burning like popcorn inside his heart. because even he rejected, his GF is praising other guy. that jealous makes him un peace full.

    7. after that also....my break up with BF happened in 2011, my marriage happened in same year. i am having baby as well...& having superb life now(slowly falling in love with DH) with my DH. still i am updating my BF with my happy things like my second honey moon & sex life & gifts & costly expenses for me and life with DH so on...to make my BF jealous.

    Finally, my BF didn't get any other girl in his life until now & feeling so lonely too much. he married a girl in US secretly before 1 year. but she also left him with out first night.:rotfl ahai it is big shot in his life. i am happy for that. God gave punishment to him. he is burning him self in two way...continuous love failures with girls..continuous of my praising about my life with DH


    dear op,
    even with blank mind accept someone in your life. GOD knows very well what is good for us. so dot depress. leave that matter to your parents. slowly you will know that how much lucky you are....still i am getting thoughts of my BF while i am doing *** with DH. just i am closing my eyes & having romance with BF(for that moment only). later i will forget about him & will think about my DH. so Break up is not big problem once you marry a guy who is very responsible towards & love you too much. be care full...you should act like a annoying girl to your fiance. it may spoil your next episode of life. dont frank to fiance at all.

    Finally, i am most happiest girl now. because i am having a guy who give love to me instead of guy who taking loves from me but not giving. because i knew that love value now. break up with BF teaches me that how much a person's love is valuable. i knew that feel now. i knew value of "Love giver" because i am also failed "Love giver".

    dont cry. marry a guy with out constraints(if your soul is confidental) or based up on your parents selection(keep confidence on them).

    i am with you at any time
    hugsmiley
     
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  9. dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

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    Go out with friends. Try to pick up some hobby or something. If possible relocate to a different city

    Honey, understand one thing. He doesn't deserve your love. You will definitely find someone better than a guy who would appreciate your love.

    Meanwhile, take care of yourself.
     
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  10. fourthaugust

    fourthaugust Gold IL'ite

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    OP
    I am amazed that your heart still yearns for that jerk. You should rather be hating him to the core to make your life miserable. I had never been in a relationship and my husband is my first and only love so I may not understand your problem . But in my opinion, how could you live your precious life like hell, why are you making your parents life miserable too, for no fault of theirs. I am a mother too and I can very well understand the kind of hell your parents must be going through. Please dont do this to them. Be reasonable, be responsible. Our lives are not solely ours. Please think about your near and dear ones and try to be happy.
     

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