Should I move back to India?

all of these that u have stated are minor issues... if some one wants to just show off.. so be it.. its their personality.. as long as they dont harm u or ur kids,y do u care..

seems like u r just looking for issues that can be used so that u dont have to move to india..

 

How about your parents? Do they want you to move India?. Move to city where your parents live as your husband gave option for you to choose.

you mentioned your inlaws are growing older so they will become your responsility, but you also have your parents and you should take care of them also.so if your parents are also interested and you can have lot of good time with them.

when your husband is supportive and since its his interest, you can tell him clearly all the conditions in advance and follow them when you go India.

Car - Since you will buy car, you should keep the car with you wherever you go. You should make a routine for yourself. Like going out for groceries or home related shopping. Dropping and picking your kids from school. Going to your own parents home.
If your Inlaws try to take care wherever they go to show off, you should politely stop them from doing so and ask to go in auto. you can keep reason of your kids school that you have to pick etc.

Keep just normal hi and bye with your SIL and tell your inlaws that you not going to follow all those now. if they want they can buy for their daughter with their money.
House - You should tell your husband that you will arrange all things at home as per your taste and NO WAY you cannot follow your MIL traditions. Not at all.

Since your husband is interested he will agree for your conditions.
i wish my hubby gives me this option and interested to move.

 

Take a paper and write down things you are going to loose / gain if you move back to india.
Make a decision on the basis of calculative aproch.

 

luc i remember your old threads, so now you finally going to India, with mutual interest? Because settling somewhere should happen wholeheartedly and not because once compulsion.
Write down the merits and demerits of moving and staying back. Discuss with your DH. especially the PIL part. If he is ready to adjust for you , then you should be ready to do so. Same to you too, when you are ready to move back he should adjust something for you.
Experience of moving back to India or staying back differ from person to person. Analyse your circumstances, see what suits for both of you and decide. Only thing is, it should give happiness to both of you.

 

Dear op,

You need a chill pill to deal with the showoff personalities.There is a choice to sulk or have fun with thier habits .No need to feel offended.

My MIL is a big showoff ,we had accepted her and make regular family joke out of her habits.My H buys big B.cake to her to make her happy saying she loves everything to be big(you need plans to distribute the cake ). She loves to take photos of that cake to send to all relatives.But we still love her child like behaviour(she will exclaim in glee when you gift her a grand saree) .She is far better than MILs who appear sick all the time.

The whole part of seeing too much of your inlaws could be quiet daunting.But relax you will get used to them.Try to develop a positive mind set .

 

Tough decision, since most of us are used to a life style when living as a couple and now have to adjust to PIL lifestyle ..

If there is a responsibilty towards parents and PIL one should not escape that, you are lucky husband is willing to stay separate, make the most of it.

Am in a similar situation, we have to become tactful on how to spend to suit their luxuries, have to learn to draw a line and say no...cant run away from problems, have to face it head on and learn.

If pros of moving back is higher, dont let these small things affect your life...and decisions.

 

Hey its something only u can decide. Leave aside the baggage of what ur husband desires for a moment and with a clear mind think what u would like to do?

I feel all these things that are irking u so much are just the tip of the icebergs of Pil and dil relationships. If u go back many such issues are likely to crop up due to increase in interactions. U dont seem thick skinned enough to me to not let such issues affect u.If u are sensitive and things like this can affect u too much i feel u should not go back if husband agrees.

Hope u make the right choice that makes u happy in the long run. All the best.

 

ha ha ha..i can totally relate to this..
my PIL are exactly same..show off..so much show off about them and their son..it makes you feel like you dont exist at all...!!!
when they show it off to you just ignore..we cant do much about it anyway..or else just look away in a very awkward way without saying anything....
crap...i have experianced this crap too..