Why do husbands cheat and why do wives forgive?

A lot of blatant cheating happens because men know they will get away with it as their wives don't have/think they don't have any other option but to tolerate.If they felt there was a chance of losing the 'married life' with wife and kids...they wouldn't dare at least go about it so blatantly.

The wife also chooses to stay in a humiliating arrangement for whatever reason...rather than opt for divorce.May be for the sake of kids,no support from parental family ,financial dependence or just not ready to start life all over again.

 

Nithya,

Your neighbor lady is acting very stupid by letting her husband go stray. Infidelity in a relationship is unacceptable. Sorry to say but such ladies set wrong examples.. I strongly oppose her stand. For me I am very possessive abt 2 men in my life: My DH and my father. I am not open minded enough to share them with outside world other than my very close knit family.

 

the way girls are brought up in our society , they are not even acquainted with the feelings of self respect and dignity - only pati parmeshwar nonsense .
so they feel a misplaced pride in being the sacrificial lamb.

 

should not completly blame men for cheating wife .. there could be many other reasons too why they do so .. so need to find the solution for it rather than putting divorce ...try to find the problem and then get to the conclusion

 

there can be no justification for a wrong deed . only a coward will try to put the blame of his act on his wife .
plus retaliating for one wrong with another wrong does not make it right.

this is our indian society where a husband can get away with everything ( alcoholism , adultery , abuse , violence etc ) and the people will say there must be some fault in the wife for him to do such things.

 

He is doing it with the knowledge of the wife. How can it then be 'cheating'? Obviouly it's a case of polyamory. If both spouses are OK with it there is no complaint. And obviously the wife here has no real grievance.

 

Main reason I feel is our society..the way girls brought up..mostly India, we are very much afraid of divorce....generally Men take their wives for granted and they think what she can do....Woman afraid to tell outside the world whatever husband does..how much torture given by husband, women ready to accept and continue to pour love though they have done many mistakes....Men take advantage of all these..

 

We cannot be pointing fingers at others. That's an excuse we give to cover up our cowardliness and shortcomings.

 

What do you expect from marriage ?

life long soulful love
financial security
social security
emotional support
life long friendship
social pressure
children
life long partnership
parents happiness
property ................

there are so many expectations in a marriage some we tell openly some not so holy ones we wrap in different names to avoid truth .Each of us have different expectations .

World has its standard marriage purpose. We believe or act to suite our image with those standards.Not all marriages are made in heaven with love,friendship,sharing ....such sweet ideal parameters.

As many of us struggle to maintain the balance bet ideal marriage and the true expectations from our marriage.We think the people who break free and tell the world straight away that this is what we expect from marriage as weird.

That ladys expectations seems to be social security, financial security and children from her marriage. She is happy as she got what she wanted.Her sin is not to act in front of the world that she cant survive without H company.IF she had done her bit of acting we wont be reading this.

If soul is the only acceptable criteria why still marriages are fixed according to the financial status .

Half the marriages will break if only love and being loved is the only basis to stay married.

Lets stop proposing hypocrisy .