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No Faith in GOD left. Please suggest.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014.

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  1. Sep 17, 2014 #1
    JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I really want some help from you all and advice on below issue.
    Just to introduce myself, I have been married for last 6 yrs and we are TTC from last 4 year. Life has not been easy for me from and before marriage. My parents were not ready for marriage and it was really a dreadful scene. Somehow I got married and we were living a good life. Since my parents had not excepted it wholeheartedly I didn’t wanted child till then and it was our mutual understanding.

    After 2 yrs of marriage we started but to our surprise we were not able to conceive so with one of our friends help we went to see the doctor. With another surprise we came to know that my DH have low Sperm count and low motility. There were not much test suggested to me. We started with PCT test which failed and then first IUI. I was very hopeful that it will work but it didn’t and received my AF. The doctor treatment and IUI went on and off for this 4 years. Then we thought to change the doctor when my PIL insisted to see another one. We visited them with full hopes. She suggest ICSI and we invested more than 2 lakhs for it and thought it would be successful but it was not. We were so depressed and crying for 2-3 days. All our hopes have dwelled down over a time. Now she has suggested FET.

    My issue is that we are really going through a tough time. I think and I believe we should be praying more so that god will be one day grateful to us. But my DH has lost all hopes and faith in GOD and he doesn’t wants to do any pooja or pray to God. He has also stopped doing any pooja at home, sometimes I force him but he gets angry. He thinks that when we have been so good with everyone so many years how can god be so partial. But he never stops me from praying or going to temple infact he comes with me till temple but not inside.

    Please suggest me what should I do, how should I handle this situation. We do have fights because of this sometimes. I really want him to also pray so that we have our LO soon in our life.
    I am clueless how to convince him. Please suggest.
     
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
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  2. Sep 17, 2014 #2
    kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jigs,

    Please tell your husband not to blame God. Because life is a package with happiness and sorrow. Ask your husband to think about the good things God gave to him compared to other people who are disabled and suffering with diseases. There are people who struggle for daily bread and there are people who doesn't have a proper shelter live and sleeping on the footpaths. I feel we have to see the positive things which God has given us instead of blaming him for onething which he didn't gave us.

    Hope he gets back the faith in God.
     
    kcb, Sep 17, 2014
    kcb, Sep 17, 2014
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  3. Sep 17, 2014 #3
    JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for your wonderful suggestion. Surely i will try to convince him in this way and let's see. Yes i also hope he gets back normal soon. :cry:
     
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
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  4. Sep 17, 2014 #4
    prm

    prm New IL'ite

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    Hi JigsSM,

    Please dont loose hope.I can understand your situation.Try to consult a good doctor to have further treatment.If you really believe in God then just have positiv ethoughts in your mind.Do Shasti pooja and when your are blessed with an angel do visit Kukke Subramaniam temple in mangalore.This is a very powerful pooja.I am sure you prayer will surely be answered.

    Regards,
    prm
     
    prm, Sep 17, 2014
    prm, Sep 17, 2014
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  5. Sep 17, 2014 #5
    memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    I understand JigsSM what you are going through because am too sailing in the same boat. My DH too has lost all hopes that we will ever have a child of our own. He has lost belief in god. He always says god will never hear us. Cant blame him either.. circumstances force a man to become the way he is. We ladies suffer throughout our TTC journey..but alongwith us these poor souls ( hubbies)also suffer alike. We feel society traumatises us but these guys have to face their own share of unpleasant questions from their male colleagues at workplace. Added to that pressure from parents and relatives alike. Now the situation is my DH has started avoiding all who ask him unwelcome questions regarding child. He has become more confined to his nest...

    What I suggest is you speak to your DH lovingly. Fighting with him wont ease things it will only worsen situation and make your lives more complicated. Let time heal the wounds. My husband too does not come with me to temples..i dont force him either. I do everything I want to do..poojas, offerings. Am sure someday god will see my tears too and that day my DH's faith in him will be restored. After all faith is a matter of choice and not something to be forced.
     
    memeera1234, Sep 17, 2014
    memeera1234, Sep 17, 2014
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  6. Sep 17, 2014 #6
    JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks prm. I will surely research about this pooja and with help of my PIL will try to do this pooja. We are already consulting good doctors in Mumbai. But may be things are not in our favour now or it is not our right time yet. :roll:
     
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
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  7. Sep 17, 2014 #7
    JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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    Ya Meera we both are so helpless of this situation. also our DH also feel so helpless that they are also not able to do anything. So just to remove the frustration they have targeted god. Yet how you said. I too will not force him from now on. If he feels he will come or esle let it be how he wants to.
     
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
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  8. Sep 17, 2014 #8
    Saisakthi

    Saisakthi IL Hall of Fame

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    Sister JigsSM,

    Sairam, Hugs to you, Infertility actually unlike many other situation comparatively negligible, let us think of what god has given us unlike many others, first of all let your Dh be happy that you are an asset to him being strong and have all the hopes.

    It is nothing to do as of now, our Karma's Balance sheet is determined when we were descended to earth through our biological parents, the core faith with which we hold thy feet will even make impossible to possible, losing faith only aggravates the situation, put it to your husband in a calm atmosphere or leave him at his will and you get stronger and stronger.

    The more closer you get to Guru/God such easier is your Day of gift, May Baba guide you always,

    Just patiently read Saisatcharitra one Chapter a day with complete hope in Guru Sayee, Leave out one of your favorite eatables till then you are sure to achieve success. There is no other hard and fast rule at all, would also pray for you and your husband to be pulled towards Guru Sayee, Surely he will listen to my prayers, Thanks, SAIRAM
     
    Saisakthi, Sep 17, 2014
    Saisakthi, Sep 17, 2014
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  9. Sep 17, 2014 #9
    chandrakiran

    chandrakiran Silver IL'ite

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    So friends, I don't think that more prayers mean more goodies from GOD. On the contrary, I do believe GOD is there, but what has to come to us will come whether we pray or not, and what is not destined for us, will not come no matter how much we pray. I agree to SaiSakthi's "karma balance sheet" concept.
    So essentially prayer for something in return is not advisable as it only leads to depression. If God really responds to all who pray, then all the devotees in Uttarakhand floods would not have perished. I don't "pray", but i have frequent "conversations" with Him. That actually helps me and gives me confidence to face life better. My perspective..that's all..meanwhile, OP - even without your own children, life is still beautiful. Enjoy time with your spouse. you could also think of adoption if you are open about it. The money that you spend on treatments can be spent on a child.
     
    chandrakiran, Sep 17, 2014
    chandrakiran, Sep 17, 2014
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  10. Sep 17, 2014 #10
    JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot for such kind words. I will surely try to read Saisatcharitra one Chapter a day . Actually i had started with vrat of Sai baba every Thursday also and completed 9 days. But no results after that :(
    Yes i have hopes on God. but i really feel that it should not go down because something which are trying to achieve and we are not getting results. But i have faith in god.
     
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014
    #10
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