Im confused!!!

gangaushan · Sep 3, 2014

Im 26 years old. My parents were waiting for the past 3 years for me to get married to my boy friend. Though he not of same caste we still struggled a lot to convince my parents. Still a no from his side. My parents doesnt wanna wait anymore neither me. A guy who is a childhood friend of mine seems to be interested in me(which i found out recently) and wants to marry me. Though he is younger than me, his parents and my parents are happy to make us together. He is well settled and a cool guy. Here comes the confusion. I love my guy more than anything but still my thinks of the other guy too. Sometimes i wanna give up my love(especially when i think about my future with his parents) just break up and marry my childhood friend. And sometimes i miss him than anything in my life. Is my confusion genuine or Am i crazy. I have not given up my love neither declined my childhood friend. How can i know which way to go ahead.

PS: My friend is a wonderful person too. He loves me a lot. And his parents too which makes me feel that my life might be happy this way.

Akanksha1982 · Sep 3, 2014

Marry someone who loves you not whom you love. So, if your childhood friend loves you and his parents are happy, that is a much better choice than the other.

SSSGupta · Sep 3, 2014

May be I sound selfish or something.. May be its cheating to ur Love, but if we will see practically ur friend is a good choice but If u love only ur love, cant love ur friend after marrige .. ur love is better choice...

SO choose whatever you feel better.. its up to you only.. dont think about world, ur love , ur friend.. think about you and yor heart because its a matter of Life..

jellyjoop · Sep 3, 2014

It is always better to marry someone who loves you rather than someone you love. In your case, you are not sure when your boyfriends family will accept you and even if they did, there will be resentment and you will have your work cut out to make them accept you 100% even after marriage. Your childhood friend on the other hand knows you and his family too has accepted you...and a friend makes the best kind of husband. It is up to you to finally decide but whatever your decision is do it full heartedly with no regrets.

Laks09 · Sep 3, 2014

Marry neither of them in a hurry. Marriage is not a deal of convenience, it's a lifetime of commitment. If you have even an iota of doubt, don't rush into it. Your boy friend's parents are unwilling and he is probably not wanting to go ahead without their approval. Three years is a long time to wait for someone to grow a spine and support you. Stop waiting for him.
This other guy maybe the greatest in the universe but you need to come out of a relationship and take some cooling off time before entering into a new one. Only then will you be happy in the new relationship.
Why don't you concentrate on your career and personal development and get over your BF? Marriage can wait. A year or two down the line, if this childhood friend is still around, consider him.

god2014 · Sep 3, 2014

Either one of them can only come in to your life, make that point to your mind and heart.. Its not a competition, you occupy both the participants and make them fight, choose the best..

Absolutely crazy because, just for the sake of parents today this childhood friend match is glowing in your heart.. As laks mentioned its a commitment, which we must honour and live for life.. No hurry at all, either this or that, din't see the pros and cons too much and conclude that i can neither live my boy friend nor go ahead with child hood friend..
You waited 3years for what, for your boyfriend to convince parents, what you did 1st , 2nd and 3rd year, why didn't you think to break up that time as his parents seem to be adament for 3years, your guy could never convince them, now as you found another love you seem to convince yourself and break it, what if you had not known the childhood love at all.. All these you must ask yourself and seek the answer.
No hurry at all, make a wise decision by clearly thinking what is better for you, your future etc, breaking up now and regrets later or marrying childhood friend, later feeling for the boy friend.. All well woe you if you take any decision in haste or hurry... So you are the choice maker so do it rightly..

Akanksha1982 · Sep 3, 2014

Laks, I understand what you are saying and it is important. However, OP, be careful opportunity does not knock again. So if the childhood friend is good and parents are all ok and i believe you know him better then it is better to settle down. So take your time but at the same time remember that time does not stop for you.

GoogleGlass · Sep 3, 2014

Love and marriage are not acts of convenience. In life always something will look better and will be better than what we end up with. So can we keep opting for the better in the case of marriage????

For what ever reason now the love you had has lost its charm as it has turned to a commodity and the comparison has come into picture.

Does the new proposal that came in your way knows your love life??? If hidden and later that surfaces, what would you do? How will the life progress?

Be open to the person whom you choose and remember never to compare between the two again. Take your time and be firm with your decision and go ahead.

Shina · Sep 3, 2014

I think u should go for the childhood friend and forget about the other as he hasn't passed the test of love with flying colours has he. In perfect world you should wait and focus on studies etc. but i feel in practical world good offers like this whereby u already know the person from childhood and his parents are nice and supporting plus he is attracted to u - this kind of combination is very lucky to get. So i feel u should seriously consider the second boy.

Also as googleglass has asked an imp. question does he know about ur boyfriend? How will he take it when he knows u think? You should clarify this to him. Also only choose the other boy if u feel sure that u will be able to make his life happy as well .all the best.