totally depressed!

Hi friends,
Here with a new issue. Went to DH place and came back. DH has sent MIL out of town to prevent any drama. He informed her that I had come the next day. She immediately started without informing DH. DH & me were in my mom’s house that time when SIL called DH & told him to go & immediately receive his mom as she is on the way. DH was supposed to be with me that day as I will be leaving the next day..But he was forced to go & receive her. I was upset but he did not call me till night. Suddenly he called me and informed me that his mom fainted & is sick. Then he came the next day to send me off. He was like I did not even inform my mom that am coming to send you off. I told you should have informed. He told she might get upset as she is already sick. Suddenly topic drifted somewhere &
he was like my mom expects you to take care of me, cook, clean the home etc etc. I am working woman in a high post & have enough stress at workplace. We had already had discussions on this & I clearly told I want a maid. He told MIL won’t accept that & instead he would help me. After that whenever we met he helped me (MIL was not around all these times). But now he is like mom doesn’t likes me helping you. I was shocked. I became emotional & told how much his mom abused me in the past. He instead told me to forget & sent me off. After reaching my place he is calling me as usual like a duty. Though he says I love you there is no love in it..So I sent him a mail on what my expectations are

He read the mail & did not reply back. Today again he was cold & I confronted him as to why he is this way. He did not reveal it at all saying you cannot find any solution to my problem. Asking you wont help as you being v independent would ask me counter questions. I really don’t know what to do and am not happy. Then he told you want only me and nothing else matters to you (meaning his mom). I will visit your parents as usual. I will be there for you and keep a maid for my mom. You can never meet my mom’s expectation. He then started telling I expected you to take care of my mom etc etc. I told him clearly that his mom abused me in the past & how can he expect me to be cordial with her. Then said I will carry out all the duties towards MIL & take care of her no matter what. I got angry and asked whether he really wants to live with me or not? Will I really be happy with him or not?

Ladies I cant understand this. MIL has verbally abused me, hates me to core, dominating & controlling. He is now telling that am not putting any efforts to mend the realtionship. How am I going to handle her? This guy who has been so supportive till date has started this blame game. I infact yielded to him saying that I will do all the work for them as I truly love him. I am just hating this. How to tackle him?

 

THank you being loved & SGBV

I had totally stopped all communications with her as per H's advice. Though of facing her this trip but H sent her off & told me that its a surprise for me. he himself knows that she is the reason for drama. But now his talks are paining me.

What I cannot understand is he was v helpful all these days to me. I thought he did it out of love. How can a lady manage all work at home whereas a husband sits & chill out saying my mom doesnt like it..THats why I put counter question asking even my parents would want their princess to be the same always. I am not saying no to work. I am just asking for a help after I join him..I need to travel 50 kms after joining him. Cant these people have some humanity? I honestly admitted that I get tired easily & wont he care for my health. House hold chores can be done by anybody how can you expect a superwoman/ robot to be your wife?? I can be of great support to him in many other ways which not everybody can.

So now he is like I love you no matter what & you want only me. This MIL is abusing me & how can I ever talk to her on the first hand. Neither is he opening up..Instead saying that I can never help him out & that only fate will decide blah blah...Am fed up
Isnt he being senseless??

 

Thank you soo much SGBV & guessho..
The updates:
I am a emotional idiot gals He called me again in the evening & I talked minimal. After going back home I purposely went out without taking my mobile. When I came back I was shocked to see so many missed calls of him. His voice was totally low & I too had no energy to talk..Cried badly..THen again during night call he was trying too hard to be normal..But I know him v well..He was sick. I was not able to keep the call short & sweet..He already told me that he has no resort except me & I was not able to behave stone hearted..So I talked positive stuffs of how we can make things work when go in the right path & how his mom will also be happy in the process though I exactly dont know at present.
{Actually when during this visit I had been cooking, he had been washing. So the day when MIL arrived I cooked & washed most of the stuffs. H came & forcefully carried me out saying he would take care. Also the mattress, bed sheets of previous night were all lying all around & etc etc like this. He told he will do everything as the lady was expected the next day. So when she came it was a huge shock. So she started it seems now itself you have started doing seva to wife. Have you ever done it to me blah blah}
He v hesistantly opened up after hell lots of persuasion & this is what he told,

" I as an individual want all around me happy. You & my mom are the most important ppl in my life. She is sick now & I cant be happy. But at the same time I want you equally in my life. She expects you to do somethings esp take care of me & your expectations are different. I understand your point but give me time. Both of your relationship had gone beyond repair. It was all my fault of not doing things & she is blaming you. So again the drift has come. All she told is she wont cook for us if you are around & you need to clean it up..If you are not able to cook we will eat outside. So my only request to you is to be patient & polite to her in case she talks. My mom is v sick nowadays & it can be seen from her face. This is mainly due to quarrels I have with her supporting you. Also you never talk to my sis. I dont like telling or compelling you so try to maintain a cordial relation with her so that we can seek her help in case of pblms. Remember my love is the same & all these are my humble expectations from you. I will never mingle love & expectations. Once things start becoming ok say few months I will get in to help you & make you comfortable."

My suggestions:
Gals though I was moved, I clearly told that I will try my best to do whatever chores is possible from my side. I will also be polite to his mom.
5 things to be done one is medical intervention (she has episodes of BP, fainting, chronic depression) to make her sleep & give some inner peace
two is you as a son taking responsibility in curing her. He never talks with her though he loves her that much. So her insecurity can be removed only from his reassurances. I also told him to talk to her of how much imp am in his life. If his mom's intention is son's happiness alone she might stay away.
three is my part.
Four is his responsibility to stop her verbally abusing me no matter what as I cant take it as its my personality. Let her be quite I dont mind but no verbal abuse
Five my parents importance in my life no matter what. So none should question them just because they gave birth to me.

All these together should bring in a change..We ve had enough..no more strength I have..THis man is equally suffering or more I should say.

@ Guessho: THank you so much..started reading bhagavad gita..

 

Thanks yaar..Lets see..Even his love for me is true but immature..hope things become stronger after I permanently stay with him..