1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Fight over definition of strangulation

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by persecutedDIL, Aug 18, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 1 of 3
  1. Aug 18, 2014 #1
    persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    381
    Likes Received:
    480
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    As I mentioned in my first post, my husband had tried to strangulate me on two different occasions. While on the first occasion, I kept it to myself, on the second occasion I informed his parents. Recently we had a big fight over that. My husband accused me of twisting the facts and misinforming his parents because as per him, he had only 'tightly held my neck from behind with only one hand' and was not strangling me. He accused me of implying to his parents that he was attempting to kill me while he was only manhandling me. Can you all buy such an argument ?

    1.) In such a moment when you have just been released from the tight hold of a heavily built husband causing immense due to the attempted strangulation, would you bother so much about the lexicon, which is best to the legal eagles ?

    2.) Please note that the second time he had strangulate me, I had informed his parents and his parents immediately asked me to divorce him. I told him that I am never going to call up such parents-in-law on my own as they tried to divorce me from my husband, he said I myself gave a wrong implication to his poor parents who were too scared of our relationship due to which they suggested divorce. Do you all buy such an argument ?
     
    persecutedDIL, Aug 18, 2014
    persecutedDIL, Aug 18, 2014
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. mirrorimage

      Handling Male Ego After Fight

      mirrorimage, Aug 6, 2021, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      4
      Views:
      1,721
      Patientone
      Aug 11, 2021
    2. SuiDhaaga

      Fight Fire With Fire, Fight Anger With Anger

      SuiDhaaga, Jun 23, 2021, in forum: Poetry
      Replies:
      2
      Views:
      441
      SuiDhaaga
      Jun 24, 2021
    3. Prabh

      Huge Fight And After Affects

      Prabh, Jun 18, 2021, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      7
      Views:
      1,735
      MalStrom
      Jun 18, 2021
  2. Aug 18, 2014 #2
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Why do you want to stay married to this person at any cost? You may not believe in divorce but what kind of life is this PD?He has asked you for divorce ....your in laws have asked you to divorce .He strangulates ......calls it manhandling like it is any better.Why do you want to be in this "relationship?"

    It is one thing to not believe in divorce...but another to deny yourself a life.

    I apologize if my post upsets you....but I just don't understand this relationship and its worth.




    Looks like they want out of this marriage between you and their son.
     
    yellowmango, Aug 18, 2014
    yellowmango, Aug 18, 2014
    #2
    12 people like this.
  3. Aug 18, 2014 #3
    Quebec

    Quebec Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,422
    Likes Received:
    3,212
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Ok first time improper strangulation/ ptoper manhandling.......

    Second time proper strangulation..........

    Ahmm ahmm.......

    Third time...............................!!!!!!!!!!

    God bless you
     
    Quebec, Aug 18, 2014
    Quebec, Aug 18, 2014
    #3
    4 people like this.
  4. Aug 18, 2014 #4
    blossomingbud

    blossomingbud Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Is manhandling such a minor thing? So should you only complain when they already killed you?
     
    blossomingbud, Aug 18, 2014
    blossomingbud, Aug 18, 2014
    #4
    10 people like this.
  5. Aug 18, 2014 #5
    han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    553
    Likes Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    OP did you get back your jewelry. Sorry but I fail to understand why are you against divorce? You might not value your life but there are people out there who do.
    You have an abusive husband who tries to strangle you, is emotionally distant. You don't have great in laws either. What are you waiting for?
    Please take this very seriously, if you are hell-bent against divorce, make yourself emotionally and physically distant from your husband and you yourself be in a positive frame of mind. I don't think your PIL did anything wrong in suggesting divorce, they are experienced and know how such things end. I personally know someone who was in a similar situation and paid no heed to any warning.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2014
    han412, Aug 18, 2014
    han412, Aug 18, 2014
    #5
    2 people like this.
  6. Aug 18, 2014 #6
    chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,962
    Likes Received:
    2,743
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    PD, it doesn't matter whether it is manhandling or strangling. It is just wrong. Any action that may cause you harm (either with or without an intention to hurt) should not be taken lightly. I agree with Quebec, today he would manhandle you in heat of an argument, tomorrow who knows what will happen. You should be the most important person in your life and your safety and happiness should come first.
     
    chillbreeze, Aug 18, 2014
    chillbreeze, Aug 18, 2014
    #6
    4 people like this.
  7. Aug 18, 2014 #7
    Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,405
    Likes Received:
    2,928
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi PD,

    This is the first time i am writing to you. I read your previous posts to understand what exactly is happening in your life . One thing can be clearly construed " You are not very happy in this marriage". You mind is always rattling with a lot of questions and i totally sympathize with you . From the way you are communicating with the rest of the IL , i can very well understand that you are an educated woman but very worried about many things that is happening in your life at present. There are many unanswered questions your mind is going through right now and all it wants to do is "scream". Why do you think you are in this situation ? Did you introspect ? I am asking you this because i can totally understand your pain, embarrassment and crushing needed ego.

    Strangulating wife and threatening her is not a very good sign, understand this PD. A loving husband would never do that . Is there love lacking in this marriage ?

    Yes, i totally understand where you are coming from and also the pain deep within your heart . But, suffering on a daily basis on the hands of loved ones is not a very fancy situation to be in. Please calm down a little , think about your future .Since he has raised hands already don't you think you gave him a free pass to hit you further . The truth is he has become very courageous to hit you severely in the coming future.

    All i can say is either be prepared to fall in a bottomless pit or free yourself from the shackles of this abusive person and also inlaws because they chose to advice " Divorce " to you than correcting their son. So in a nutshell they are not genuine :)

    If you need any help please feel free to ask for help.

    Love,
    Maddy
    Hugssss :) :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2014
    Maddy2087, Aug 18, 2014
    Maddy2087, Aug 18, 2014
    #7
    1 person likes this.
  8. Aug 18, 2014 #8
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    PD, Regardless of the definition, manhandling anyone is wrong. It must be addressed. If your ILs advised divorce simply to take advantage of the situation, it is very irresponsible of them.
     
    Radhai, Aug 18, 2014
    Radhai, Aug 18, 2014
    #8
    1 person likes this.
  9. Aug 18, 2014 #9
    JustLikeYou

    JustLikeYou Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    286
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear PD,

    I dont know completely what you are going through in your life besides the ones that you mention here. I feel nothing wrong in what rexxar mentioned in his/her post. I don't know if rexxar has a history of creating issue but atleast in his/her response above he/she makes absolute sense.

    I am sorry, no man would strangulate a woman and argue about the definition of strangulation, unless you are exaggerating his hugging and kissing your neck as strangulation.

    Your ILs are rightly worried about the state of your relationship. They would rather have their divorced son as opposed to having a son who killed his wife.

    You actually need to inform this to your parents or friends who are close to you. What is the guarantee that the third time would just be a manhandling and not strangulation that ends up in solving its purpose? Would you be there to argue about the nuances of it? Or to defend your husband?
     
    JustLikeYou, Aug 18, 2014
    JustLikeYou, Aug 18, 2014
    #9
    3 people like this.
  10. Aug 18, 2014 #10
    dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    829
    Likes Received:
    982
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    PD, Why do you want to be in a relationship which does not give you any happiness? Strangulation/man handling is a big no in any relationship.

    i dont know what you are going through but imo come out of this relationship.
     
    dsmenon, Aug 18, 2014
    dsmenon, Aug 18, 2014
    #10
    1 person likes this.
Page 1 of 3
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page