sperm in my husbands boxers

madhavisree · Jul 31, 2014

hi ladies
Am soo much depressed form last 3 days when I saw a sperm in his boxers.....usually he comes home from office at 5 clock but on certain days my husband calls me & tells he has some work so he will come home late but whenever he is late he will straight
go to the shower and haves bath and later rinse all his cloths and puts it in the laundry room...the other day I had doubt and took his boxers saw some stains and it smelled sperm the moment I was dumb and could not control my cry so locked my self in the bathroom and cried for long time he did not even bothered to ask me why am crying he just had dinner and went to bed....... actually I was prepared to confront him but coz of kids I kept quite now my son is 13 years old he is very matured and can sense what's going on with us.....my kids are very sensitive they often ask their dad why he used bad words to me when he is angry on me......

this is not the first time am seeing the sperm.....he often goes out for company meetings and when he comes back I use to see them......am really feeling like I want to run away from him to an unknown place........am soo much depressed and have a very bad headache from last 3 days......
the other main problem is he is a diabetic and if I fight with him for this he will stop eating the food and indirectly makes me feel guilt.........I never ever bought this topic with him to discuss coz of his behavior after the arguments and fights he just treats me very badly....I have no one to discuss this with anyone I lost my mum before my marriage and I have sister she is having lots of personal problems and my dad is very old so am alone in this world..........during first 9 years of our marriage he really treated me very very badly used all kinds of filthy words and made me look like fool in front of his family he had more love and affection on his brothers wives than me......he can not tolerate a single complaint on them he just fights with me when ever I talk about them.am just fed of this life am breathing just for my kids am waiting for them to grow.....some times I feel like I want to end my sucking life but I have no choice even to do that......

gauridinesh · Jul 31, 2014

First of all, do not think of ending your life. Its not the solution.
Second - take charge. Dont let him doormat you. Why are you in this abusive relationship? Can you find a job? If yes, then look for one.
Your Kids need to learn to respect women. If your son grows up watching him do this to you, think of how he will treat his wife. You are a human being and not a doormat.
Tell your husband what you found. Do not simply cry and let this man ruin your life.

Mscongeniality · Jul 31, 2014

Hugs to you, Madhavisree. Please do not think you are alone in this world - you have beautiful sensitive kids and they are worth any challenge in the world. I am not sure if you are financially independent but please try and find a job if you can. Divert your attention to your kids and profession and let this man be until you can stand on your own. Then, it is time to perhaps call it quits. Your kids will be better off without him I guess.

bulesha · Jul 31, 2014

Putting somepoint in perspective here:
1. It is not usual to use boxer as undergarment by most of the men at work.
2. Sperm can't be seen by naked eye, what you saw a stain either of semen orpre-cum. I have no idea how you found by smelling even after he rinsed theboxer.
3. It is also very common for men to released pre-cum during day if theysexually aroused not necessary by act itself. There can be several reasons for arousalmay be fantasy or seeing some erotic picture which is very common among men.
4. Is it hishabit to wash/rinse his cloth after shower or he does on certain occasion? Ifit is his regular habit, better not too carried away by this stain.
5. He you doubtabout his extra sexual activities, than he must be dumb to come home with stainon his boxer.
As far as hisabusive behavior which was bad in your initial 9 years of married life. If you didn’thad courage than, I am afraid with 13 year sensitive son, you can even thinkof. Better to engage yourself in some activity or find a job, have a niche foryour own life.
And yes don’t bring your children into this

sumanrathi · Jul 31, 2014

First Understand the situation don't think that you are alone and never thought run out of this world / earth this is not the solution. Whatever the situation we have to face and solve the issue.

Have you discussed this issue with your husband ?

I hope you have not discussed with him, Pl. have open talk and discuss. based on his feedback we can move further.

Considering your kids are in teenage you have to handle it carefully. Also pl. protect yourself financially & Physically. Hope you can understand.

We all are here to guide you and support you be bold and confident.

kriztina · Jul 31, 2014

Really sorry for my ignorance, why seeing stains on husbands under garments makes you want to run away, or Am I missing something. I have seen that in my DH's since the day we were married. But worrying thing here is his mental abuse, which will affect entire home atmosphere. Try to be strong, off course you are strong no doubt to be with such a man.

sacredbell · Aug 11, 2014

Those Stains are indication to the failure of intimacy in your personal life..

Stop suspecting your DH..

Try to re-invent intimacy in your life. Workout and groom yourself to be more attractive. Try to be financially independent. If you are educated, look for a job. If not, think about self employment. A financially independent good looking woman would definitely gain respect and attention from the family as well as from the society.

roses99 · Aug 11, 2014

U told that he is Diabetic, there is something to think about medically too here rather than bursting yourself without knowing facts.

Diabetics frequently urinate and that might cause the stains what you say here, y dont you think in that perspective and see a Doctor asap!

Yup, try to be independent financially this would help you a lot concentrate on making yourself busy with some sort of small jobs

Good things to you always!

Venu99 · Aug 11, 2014

What you smelled is pre-cum. In case of a man it is very common to have a stain in the underwear. Because, several times in a day, especially in mid-day, slight hardening and softening takes place due to variations of harmonal testosterone. I can say it is very rear to find a man's underwear without a stain. Because harmonal cycle changes from time to time within a day.