How to tackle DHs selective stinginess!!!

akanksha30 · Jul 29, 2014

Hello frends,

My Dh is actually a spendthrift when it comes to himself,me,dd,his family. He doesn't mind using CC generously HOWEVER when it comes to simple thing like sending rakhis to my cousins/dd cousins (my side), he suddenly becomes penny-pincher. Its a different thing that in spite of him poking nose in these matters I somehow manage to gift my side people what I want. Also, my side relatives always return my favour in some way or other.

I am into 5th year of my marriage and have tried almost everything (by words, by anger) that I completely dislike this habit however he is always at starting point on this. I feel like shouting. He says I am overreacting and he was just suggesting me ways to save money (Rs 180/-). On the other hand he spends thousands on rupees unnecessarily on his family. I am SAHM by choice. Financially I am dependent on him. His selective stinginess is driving me crazy.

Friends, please help me dealing with my DH.

Thanks

guesshoo · Jul 29, 2014

Tough one if he refuses to engage and insists on being unreasonable. I suggest you plan in such a way that these expenses integrate with the family groceries and do stuff behind his back.

on the other hand moral high ground might work. Tell him that you are teaching your dd a valuable lesson on being thoughtful, grateful and generous especially about responding to the lovely generous people who have sent her gifts. Insist it is about reciprocation and maintaining relationships. That you don't want your dd to be an entitled twat. If he won't pitch in to teach the lesson, he needs to keep his nose out. Once you have said your piece the next time don't even justify yourself. Just stare we've discussed this before. don't start again.

Akanksha1982 · Jul 30, 2014

Is it the money that is bothering him or he is saying why spend that much on rakhi? If it is the latter then I agree with him on not spending too much money on Rakhi. Actually simple ones last longer than the expensive ones. I buy simple ones and send it to brother and cousins.

For gifts and other things, maybe talk to him on the budget before hand. Also, if he is going extravagant on gifts for his family, give him suggestion in his style about saving money. Hope that will make him realize it.

Just because you are SAHM doesn't mean that you don't have right to finances. You are working hard to keep the house. Don't take that BS from him if he thinks that way.