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rosemary12 · Jul 24, 2014

Hi all,

You could check my previous threads for the issues we are currently facing. In short, DH not in job for more than 18 months and I am in a job where I dont get my salary correctly. Anyway, after my last thread and with wonderful suggestions from ILites here, I have got my dream job offer in a prestigious firm. I will be moving out of country soon and DH will follow in a month.

Now the problem is my biological clock is ticking away and I am yearning for a kid. But after moving abroad also DH will still not be in any job. He is planning to study to elevate his qualification and then try for some job. So I will be sponsoring him for his studies and we cant expect any help from both our parents.

In laws want us to have kids soon. Even DH and I want the same. But I have a nagging doubt if I can manage financially. I mean I will be the only earning member, in addition to our expense and DH's study expense, I doubt if this is the right time for a child? I am also worried if I delay further, I may face problems conceiving.

It is so confusing to be an adult. I remember when I was a kid my parents used to decide everything and I was yearning to be able to make my own decisions. But now I just want someone else to make my decisions. I am so confused what is the right thing to do? Experienced ladies please tell me what should I do in this???

yellowmango · Jul 24, 2014

Op....do you think your husband will be able to provide the role of a caretaker for your baby for a few years.Will there be ego issues with him?

If not ...I feel this would be the best time. One parent will be available to take care of the little one for a few years. That seems like making the best use of the situation at hand.

Yes ...money will be tight but it is temporary. Go to the new place...take a few months to settle down and then plan for the baby.During pregnancy ..plan for the first few years with the child. Money is important...but not the most important part in raising a family. If there is love in the family....you can make do with much less and still have the best of times.

hope2b · Jul 24, 2014

Having experienced miscarriage etc, if you are closer to 30, you may start the process as it would take time for you to conceive and make it to the goal. If younger, there's lots of time, sort out, plan and go.

rosemary12 · Jul 24, 2014

Yeah, I am close to 30 and hence my dilemma.

Yellowmango,

Thanks a lot for getting back to me. I have always read all your posts and found them very helpful. Yeah, I agree with what you said and I feel very positive now. It helped put some sense in my head. Especially your lines -

//Money is important...but not the most important part in raising a family. If there is love in [COLOR=#009900 !important]the family[/COLOR]....you can make do with much less and still have the best of times.//

It is so true. I know my DH well. He would not have any ego clashes and would be very happy to take care of our child when the need comes. Thank you soooo much!

TheUnhappyWife · Jul 24, 2014

YM is right. I hope maternity/delivery cost is low in the country you are going to or your organization will fully sponsor it. Just read the maternity clauses carefully. I am in your boat as far as yearning for a kid is concerned, so I can feel for you.
Please note there are egg preservation(oocyte freezing) facility in India too.