Is this common in the US? Please HELP..

Dear reachmeusa,
I too think nothing is wrong in offering ride to a colleague. Why are you objecting....I am not able to understand.
Syamala

 

Your husband needs to understand that if car pooling is so common in US than so are affairs. (Emotional affairs or otherwise.) So he should not say u need counselling for being uneasy about this. Thats just wrong of him to not understand where you are coming from.

how close are you to this lady? Could you indirectly show to her that this makes you uncomfortable.is there no other lady going that way that you can find that ur husband can tell her to carpool with? Dont fight about this with ur husband but do ur research and if u r able to find some lady that she can carpool with u can get out of this mess without much trouble.

And remember it is not that big a deal to get too upset about it yet. Dont let ur thoughts run ahead of you. Most probably its just because she is scared to drive. So don't show ur husband that u mistrust him as this might really hurt his self respect. Deal tactfully.hope this helps.

 

I normally carpool with my male colleague who did not have a car. He drove my car, so that I did not have to drive long. Of course it is a win-win situation, so we both agreed. We have grown as good friends, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Very recently though, my husband too joined us as his work place was changed close to ours. So, my husband drives, I sit next to him and my friend sits in the back. If my husband is not feeling well, my friend would drive both of us, as we sit in the back. We are friends so we dont follow the formality.

It is very common here. I give lifts to most of my female colleagues too. Sometimes, my husband too does the same. As long as you trust your husband's character, and his ability to sense any wrong behavior of his colleague, it is perfectly fine.

 

Hi,

This is common in US where colleagues take help for their ride to work. there is nothing wrong in this. You should be ok with the idea that someone is just sharing a ride to work.

 

Apparently the OP, her husband and the so called lady colleague are all Indians, from the same background. So there is nothing about the US here. It is them, and how they tackle it.

 

Dear OP,

I see where your insecurity is stemming from; insecurities are usually triggered by our sixth sense or intuition or whatever we choose to call it. It may have to do with the particular woman asking for a lift or even your own husband, sometimes we just can't place a finger on why we feel how we feel.
But it is absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable about certain people or situations. And normally, a spouse would not 'over' insist on doing things his life partner is not comfortable with. Unless the other spouse is genuinely over-reacting. However, since we have access to only your point of view there's only this much I can possibly say. Hope you both find an amicable way out.

 

Dear Op....just let your husband know you are uncomfortable with this arrangement and if he still wants to ...then he is responsible.

See how long this lady colleague takes to learn driving.

Better still, ask your husband to find a third person to join the carpool to put your mind at rest.

 

hi SGBV, her husband used the reasoning that it is common in US which i used to form my retort. thats it. no big deal.hope this makes it clear.

My objection is not with him car pooling but for his not trying to understand where she is coming from.he should have dealt with this without judging her and by addressing her fears in a better way through non judgemental conversation.