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After my husband slapped me and I returned home to my parents, I revealed to my husband's parents all that their son had done and they did admit and that their son was at fault. Their son had been talking to them and explaining his point of view which basically sums up to couple of facts :-
- He made mistakes but so did I. It is quite natural that I might have made mistakes too.
- This is an arranged marriage so I should be more adjusting.
- He comes home from work and I am not sweet and caring and he misses that.
- I am ok and a nice person, it is my mother who is making do all this.
My in-laws are saying the same : because I am a woman, I should 'make' him change and make him see the error of his ways. I should be more 'understanding'. They say that they will tell their son that his behavior is wrong and not to repeat it. But I should give in somethings too. I should forget everything, the insults he came up with, the wild accusations he made and be happy again.
This is not the first time he has slapped me or betrayed my trust and I have been understanding and forgiving.
What about my mental mindset, nobody is talking about that. For 2 months, I experienced fear living with him when he merely walked by. I entertained thoughts of suicide when he accused me of certain things. All that is brushed aside.
Even now I am not ready to live life with him ( to be frank I am not sure if that is the right path to take)
Do I really believe he will change out of fear or because of someone's say so? - NO, I dont believe that. Not when I have yet to receive a sincere apology from him.
My husband's parents are forceful people who are very wearing. Even when I explain reasons for my actions, they agree on the spot but go back and ask again, over and over again until we give in. My husband, too is very much the same in this aspect.
I feel very frustrated and am afraid they will extract some kind of promise I really dont want to make.