1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Depressed so much..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sujaragu, May 18, 2014.

  1. sujaragu

    sujaragu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    hi,i have been married 7 years.having 6 year old kid . we were in abroad for the first five years. My problem is my husband is not allowing me to visit my parents or my siblings. He didnt even allow me to attend my sisters marriage.But he expects me to be very friendly with his sis,mom..,relatives.basically he feels after marriage wife belongs to husband family and with his permission only i should visit my parents.but he can visit his sis,,relatives nytime...i should not ask him any question. if i ask he is saying he is male he can do whatever he likes.i really got sucked by his attitude how to change him..
     
    Loading...

  2. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,380
    Likes Received:
    1,483
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    he tells you you should not ask him any question... so dont ask him.... just go to ur parents house when u want to ..why do u want his permission? you are an adult and have the right to make ur own decisions
     
    5 people like this.
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    You stop visiting or interacting with his parents and siblings.Stop listening to him,......stop cooking or keeping home for me. Let the jerk know your value.Why have you been acting like a doormat? He will bend you if you are willing to bend.What will he do if you don't listen to him...hit you?
     
    9 people like this.
  4. RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,060
    Likes Received:
    1,389
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    you are not his child you are his wife, you dont need to listen to him and take command like a good trained labrador or minor child, sorry if im rude i dont mean to but your husbands attitude towards you is just wrong.

    Did anything bad happend between your family and him? Is there any reason him not being in good terms with your family or is he just trying to dominate you?
    Even if some fight between them happend it does not reason in my opinion that he did not allow you to attend your sisters wedding as that is a ones-in-life-event and very special to one. Keep contact to your family, dont beliefe the "im a male i can do what i want" point and keep you head up.

    Is his stud-acting solely towards you or is he treating the rest of the fimales in the family (like your Sils) opressive too?
    If first one, you can stand up bit more clearly, he didnt learn to generally treat women badly he more or less takes you for granted and moreover (probably) thinks most wifes are something below who dont need to be considerd important or valued - make your point clear and dont accept cheap excuses, ask if there is deeper rute of problem then what he said otherwise you simply ignore and visit your family. dont argue, dont beg, just do.
    If its the second you need to be bit more carefull as he is generally thinking very low of women.

    Did he act like this from the very beginning or did he changed with time? As im not sure if he wud get angry if you talk back streight forward please be carefull but not submissive.
     
  5. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    440
    Likes Received:
    753
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Tell him why he visits his sister, she is also married so she also belongs to her husband. Cut all your contacts with his family. He needs a dose. Why did you let the situation become like this. You should have corrected him the first time when he said you can not meet your family. I do not know why men of our country act like god. Do they actually need their wives or they just need a maid, a lady to share bed with and a children making machine. Do not listen to his bull****. Go meet your family and cut your ties with his family. Tell your mil why she meets her relatives or her daughter they are also married. How irrational and illogical.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2014
    6 people like this.
  6. sujaragu

    sujaragu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Its been few years i am like this.A girl should go only with her husband to her moms place. she should not go alone. Actually he is not liking my mom coz she raised her voice when she heard that he was beating me for silly issues.And he is saying that if i go to my moms place i should not come back .
     
    2 people like this.
  7. sujaragu

    sujaragu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Even i tried that i stopped speaking to them but he is that i dont threatening me that if iam not respecting his relatives then he will call my parents and scold them that my brought up was not good. And he abuses my mom verbally that she becoz of sexual urge she eloped with my dad got married at an young age and got kids soon(my parents was a love marriage ).wat to do?
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2014
  8. han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    553
    Likes Received:
    420
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    He verbally abuses your mom and hits you believes a wife is a husband's property after marriage, he is a male and can do whatever he likes !!!!!
    He will not change. Are you ready to take a stand? Whats your parents take on this situation? Are you financially independent?
     
    6 people like this.
  9. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    440
    Likes Received:
    753
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel so much for ladies who have to live with abusers. How your parents got married is none of his business. Are working. And who gave him right to beat you. Why did you accept to get beaten. Have courage and stand for yourself. Next time he tries to beat just scream and try give some back. You can even file a report in police.
     
  10. sujaragu

    sujaragu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    hi,
    i got fed up.. His mental and physical cruelty continues.. if i want to apply for divorce what is the procedure...?can someoneone explain me.. it would be a great help..
     

Share This Page