Unable to keep Wife happy. Requesting solution.

ErRamesh · May 17, 2014

Hi, I and my wife is 32 married for 7 years and a five year kid . Recently we have started getting into a very ugly and bitter. From childhood I had responsibility of taking care of family. I had just one focus study and start earning soon. I completed my education on my own. Good good job, then ventured into my own firm that today is multi crore. Despite of successful career having problems at home. I'm unable to provide her physical love. This w from first day of marriage. She is very disappointed and angry with me. Last 7 years I met lots of doctors and medicines but no much use. I Earlier she was tolerant but now she is very violent. I don't have dysfunction, I love her, she enjoys being with me but I just don't find intimacy too exciting. We didn't do for past one year... She was understanding earlier but now she abuses me. What's most concerning is recently I took her to water park and she was staring at other men , she was not bothered of me there, I found **** is her computer . I know she won't get into affair because few times I asked her if she wants to choose her way and she had tears. Last month I went to a doctor in dubai and he said I should allow her to get intimate with other men. I just don't I understand what to do. Tried talking with others on net but no one is really taking me serious. Hope I get suggestions here.

Mahanu · May 17, 2014

ErRamesh said: ↑

I love her, she enjoys being with me but I just don't find intimacy too exciting. /QUOTE]

You know clearly that the whole issue is because of you and there is no mistake on the part of your wife.

You are telling that consultation with doctors and medicines was of no use for you. Which type of doctors did you consult and have you analysed why their treatment is not working to solve your problem. Better consult a psychiatrist who may remove your mental block which prevents you from enjoying intimacy.

Till your problem is solved, like many women, who do it to satisfy their husbands, even though they are not in mood for it at that time or it does not excite them anytime, you do it to satisfy her, without bringing in your like or dislike, so that she gets what she wants and you get your peace of mind.
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HeartHealer · May 18, 2014

Hi ErRamesh,

Thanks for writing to us. I'm sure you'll definitely get nice solutions here and together, we all will help you.

Understanding the situation at your end, I presume, all this is perhaps because of what life you had lived in past years.
With responsibilities of your family, all through your life, you have just lived up to the expectations of others, studied hard, got a good job, setup a firm of your own, spend sleepless nights to turn it to a multi-crore venture.

In advent of achieving success, you perhaps forgot to live your life. What I mean to say is, since you were very focused and determined to become successful, you might never gave any thoughts or showed much interest towards the opposite sex, which is why your inclination towards them, the likeness, an interest had been somewhere compromised or remained dormant. Please don't get me wrong, I don't intend to offend you.

These things are psychological more than they are physical. You have a kid, so, it's not that you're numb to love, romance and feeling of sex. It's just that they are suppressed somewhere owing to your past life experiences, hardships and work you're into right now.

Considering your wife, she is the one who is at loss. These things, such as low sex drive, over a period makes one feel irritated. Your wife, might feel a little compelled or attracted towards other men, but owing to her love, feelings, care and respect towards you, she can't just sleep with anyone. However, not to forget, sex is a human need and your low intimacy is resulting her needs not being fulfilled, which is why she gets irritated.

But Sir, marriage is all about making adjustments and compromising for your partner's good. There are thousand of ladies worldwide ( and, here on this forum too ) who perhaps every night would indulge in sex with their dear husbands, even when they don't feel that inclination or the need to have it daily. But, just to fulfill their husband's desires, their needs, these ladies compromise and adjust themselves accordingly.

Same piece of advice goes to you too. Try to be adaptable. Try to feel the inclination, try to feel the romance. Your wife must have tried her level best to showcase her love and romance to you, but at last gave up on you. When she can try so much, you too can do a bit.

Leave all your office and work tensions at home and try to feel the pleasure. Read novels, magazines, watch **** ( its good and needful for you ), feel love and show love. Things happen naturally, if you give them a chance to. If you continue keeping yourself in a shell, it won't help at all. So try to come out of it.

Breaking away of the marriage and/or allowing your wife to leave you for sexual pleasures, is never a solution to this. So, please do not do that.

Nandshyam · May 18, 2014

Hahahah, so your doc advised your wife for an extra marital affair.. Lovely...

ChandrikaV · May 18, 2014

I am sure a TROLL. Not on Friday but a little late this week.

Chachi420 · May 18, 2014

ChandrikaV said: ↑

I am sure a TROLL. Not on Friday but a little late this week.
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Saturday is the new Friday thinkingsmiley ... like Orange is the new Black

Rise · May 18, 2014

First things first....

File a complaint agianst that doctor in dubai .... :rant

darmesh · May 18, 2014

HeartHealer said: ↑

Hi ErRamesh,

Thanks for writing to us. I'm sure you'll definitely get nice solutions here and together, we all will help you.

Understanding the situation at your end, I presume, all this is perhaps because of what life you had lived in past years.
With responsibilities of your family, all through your life, you have just lived up to the expectations of others, studied hard, got a good job, setup a firm of your own, spend sleepless nights to turn it to a multi-crore venture.

In advent of achieving success, you perhaps forgot to live your life. What I mean to say is, since you were very focused and determined to become successful, you might never gave any thoughts or showed much interest towards the opposite sex, which is why your inclination towards them, the likeness, an interest had been somewhere compromised or remained dormant. Please don't get me wrong, I don't intend to offend you.

These things are psychological more than they are physical. You have a kid, so, it's not that you're numb to love, romance and feeling of sex. It's just that they are suppressed somewhere owing to your past life experiences, hardships and work you're into right now.

Considering your wife, she is the one who is at loss. These things, such as low sex drive, over a period makes one feel irritated. Your wife, might feel a little compelled or attracted towards other men, but owing to her love, feelings, care and respect towards you, she can't just sleep with anyone. However, not to forget, sex is a human need and your low intimacy is resulting her needs not being fulfilled, which is why she gets irritated.

But Sir, marriage is all about making adjustments and compromising for your partner's good. There are thousand of ladies worldwide ( and, here on this forum too ) who perhaps every night would indulge in sex with their dear husbands, even when they don't feel that inclination or the need to have it daily. But, just to fulfill their husband's desires, their needs, these ladies compromise and adjust themselves accordingly.

Same piece of advice goes to you too. Try to be adaptable. Try to feel the inclination, try to feel the romance. Your wife must have tried her level best to showcase her love and romance to you, but at last gave up on you. When she can try so much, you too can do a bit.

Leave all your office and work tensions at home and try to feel the pleasure. Read novels, magazines, watch **** ( its good and needful for you ), feel love and show love. Things happen naturally, if you give them a chance to. If you continue keeping yourself in a shell, it won't help at all. So try to come out of it.

Breaking away of the marriage and/or allowing your wife to leave you for sexual pleasures, is never a solution to this. So, please do not do that.

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Hello HeartHealer,

You are a good poster, you spend your valuable time and energy in uploading nicely written posts. But, please don't waste the same, in sitting and writing long replies in fake threads !

ErRamesh said: ↑

she was staring at other men ,, ..
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A wife staring amorously at other men !

ErRamesh said: ↑

,, I found **** is her computer ..
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The wife, Viewing **** in her computer alone !

ErRamesh said: ↑

I went to a doctor in dubai and he said I should allow her to get intimate with other men..
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A doctor recommending sexual intimacy with other men for the wife !

Are these things suggest to you clearly, it is a fake thread ?

Save your time and energy for posting in real threads. Remember, your posts are considered as valuable ones !

yellowmango · May 18, 2014

The wife, Viewing **** in her computer alone !
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When men do this inspite of having willing wives at home...it is normal...when men indulge in online sexual chatting with other women it is normal because these online women are not really real......but God forbid if a woman with a unwilling husband does the same......then it can't be real....

Anyways I do agree that the OP looks more like a troll.Apologies if I am wrong.