Help solicited

Read the thread ...Double face..how do you react and deal with it?
There are so many women dying for their husbands to be more romantic.Your husband got you a flower and you were rude to him.Poor guy....give him a big hug from me.

 

I think you are really lucky to have such a partner who tries to make you happy and cares for the events but the way and the place matters .. that is oke just need to tell that can be done in different place with silence and away from public.. all ppl are different and have different way of approach which can be changed with talks and times

 

I think you vented out your anger on your poor DH and that too for him being romantic? Are you worried about your colleagues going to see and gossip? let them. You are doing with your DH koi gair nahi hai, then why worry? Don't get mad on him.

About your job, it happens. Maybe you need to advertise yourself so people see it. working hard is seen in two ways. i am saying this as i am a manager. One way is that the person is slow or does not know stuff and so is working hard to make it up. Second thing is person is working hard and completing much more stuff than expected. That is how we managers look at things. So make sure that your work gets classified properly in mind of your management. When you get an assignment, make sure you estimate it write. Maybe prepare a detailed task break down and estimate. This way if your manager or someone disagrees with your estimates, you have data to show. Then you make sure that you complete the task as per the estimate. So simple rule. Collect data, Provide estimates, get manager buy in to the estimates and deliver on the estimates. This way there will be no discrepancy between your expectations and your manager's expectations. Also, make sure that you work on projects which are critical for your manager's success. Those work will be rewarded. There are always other mundane projects which needs to be done but don't tangle yourself in those. Try to get yourself on critical projects.

 

Cheenu,

If I were in your position, I would have created a artythread .... as to How all my heaviness disappeared into thin air just by a gesture from my dear one!

It all depends on how we look at things ... small things with a meaning is worth more in life than greatest of things without it ...

 

You have got a rare and loving husband there... Dont push him away....... MAny womenn would die to get a romantic hus... you hav got a gem there girl dont treat him like tht... appreciate his gestures...God has been kind to you..dont disrespect it

 

Agree with other replies here...U know, my hubby did absolutely nothing to make me feel special on our wedding anniversary...He dint bother to get me any flowers/gift or take me out on that day. I would have been so so happy if my hubby had surprised me the way ur hubby did. Life's not fair always, sometimes we work hard and do not get the rewards that we think we deserve. Compartmentalize your emotions and do not show that anger on your husband.(I know how difficult that is). Instead give him a hug and thank him for the flower. Later on when both of u are in a good mood, u can tactfully explain to him that he should not hang around too much near ur workplace and should avoid pubic displays of affection with u there, as you would like to keep ur personal life private and this sort of behavior is not encouraged there. i think he'll understand.

 

Hi cheenu123,


It's very important for you to strike a balance between your professional life and personal. Whatever happened with you back at the office, should end when you step out of it. You should realize, your husband was at no fault. He just tried to keep you calm and happy by that small gestures.

You guys are married, and a husband meeting his wife, hugging her over or talking romantically ( is a closed car ) is I suppose not wrong, until and unless you raise many eyebrows and make it look a little vulgar. But, that's not the case, right? These small gestures show how well maintained and loving your relationship is.

And, just in case if you have so much problem with his small gestures of showing love and care, you should fix your meeting point at some distance from your office, where you wouldn't feel awkward and he can easily let his emotions come out, without the fear of being noticed.

Secondly, try to maintain a balance between your professional and personal lives. If you keep on " throwing " your professional frustrations on your husband, soon a day will come, when you would crave for his "sweet nothings".

About your appraisal/increment, talk to your HR and discuss the issues with the department. As an employee of the company, you have rightful authority to question HR about the companies policies and their increment procedure. Understand, you can also raise the matter to your senior boss if you feel injustice is being done to you or you are being played on in an office politics.

Talk to your HR, sort out the matter and don't bother your husband on this.


To make up, if you really feel, you should, buy a gift as a small token of gift for him and a sorry greeting card. Bring back the love, that's more important than your increment.

 

hint (flower)----->sorrysmiley

 

After reading this post I remembered that a couple of times I have also behaved the same way, I was angry and frustrated over some other issue and showed my anger on my DH....and I felt soooooo bad later on..notdonesmiley