Problem in Marriage

Hello all. I am new here. This is my first post and I want advice from you.

My husband and I were married 2 years ago (arranged marriage). We are both doctors and we married after my husband got residency (PG) in US. I have been on a H4 dependent visa since then and these 2 years I completed the exams that would allow me to practice in the US and have been building up my CV.

We dont have any monetary difficulties or problems with in-laws.

I am by nature shy and calm person.

Six months ago my husband slapped me for the first time. I no longer remember the argument we had however I do remember that I called him foolish which is what he has been calling me too during the argument.

The next time slap was when he felt that I hadnt been practicing for interviews like he had been harassing me to do. I threatened to call the cops if he repeats it again in an email. He came home from work that day and told me that my behavior was destructive and started yelling and asking over and over again why I hadnt been practicing. Why was I so reluctant to talk to others Is it because something happened before marriage? I took all his abuse because I felt I deserved it for neglecting my studies for so long. This lasted a week and the tirades were never ending.

The next time was when he came home and asked about a weird smell. I replied to his question but he didnt hear it due to the heater. He slapped me hard because ' weren't you supposed to know that I cant hear and came after me to answer that question'.( I was reading something important at that time). I refused to talk after this and later I explained how this was ruining our marriage and he promised not to repeat it again.

The next time was when I screwed up and revealed something I shouldn't have to a friend of his when I went to stay at their house. It was genuine mistake not pre-mediated. I explained this to him and he became more paranoid that he was going to lose his job over it which seemed too far-fetched to me but then he wasnt listening at that point. He accused me that maybe I had 'liked' his friend.
He berated me for a missing luggage in that trip which was the airlines fault not mine(the luggage was later recovered and they even gave compensation for their mistake). Until then he kept telling me that I had made a mistake and forgotten my luggage. He asked me to leave his home and go back to India. This lasted for three days.

Finally on Feb 14, he slapped me again because I wasnt agreeing to his plan for pregnancy. I had been diagnosed with PCOS which causes weight gain, pre-diabetes and infertility. We took a bigger insurance last year as fertility services are not covered. He planned for me to take the fertility drug. I was initially ok with it but later had some reservation about the combined effect of my condition and the drugs (plus the stress of starting a new job). I was not prepared to take the risk of putting my future child at harm.I talked to several doctors who advised me to lose weight first. I explained this to my husband but he is adamant that some risks in life ought to be taken and couples who come to US like us plan for parenthood at this stage. I didnt agree and he slapped me again.
He didnt talk to me for 2 weeks and the first thing he asked after that was what had I planned reg pregnancy. I was so mad. I had asked him not to touch me but he didnt respect that.

I am now back in India now but I will start residency in the same hospital as he is in July. Since the last incident I haven't talked to him properly. He overall behavior is like this' I know I made a mistake, but so did you. However because I am a mature person I apologize so stop your sulking and get back to normal.'

He also accused me in the past that I deliberately kept my PCOS secret before marriage which is so unture. He threatened me with divorce during arguments.

I dont know if this is relevant, but he is also a webcam dirty chat addict that he promised to stop but has been doing it on the sly gradually. He said he would no longer keep in touch with the girl he once loved but I know he said hi to her in an email after our last argument. He called me by her name on our first night and despite my repeated questions he was adamant that it wasn't a big love affair or anything.

Sorry for the long post but can you give me any advice. All I can think at this point is I cant live like this. I dont/ cant think from his side anymore.

 

Thanks for the replies.

My parents both are supportive and left the decision up to me. They will stand by me whatever decision I take.

It will be something of a mess having to explain why I will not be staying with him both back home in India and at the hospital where both of us will be working and have a lot of mutual friends.

I agree that he is not showing signs that he wants to change (a foolish hope on my part),He hasnt once called me of his own free will since I came back, insists that my behavior is not appropriate, told his parents that my mother is manipulating everything behind the scenes.

The webcam chatting is with several woman who demand payment for 'sessions'. He is into BDSM, though to his credit he has never insisted that in our married life.