Dilemma before wedding

This is about my sis...

We are looking for matches for her since few years and nothing passed the photo round. Reason: She is fat(around 75kg for 5'2"). We are from a respectable family and many alliances came but everyone rejected. She is well educated. Did Btech, MS and currently working(in usa)but a little sensitive and has very few friends.

Now, we found a guy through matrimony site and found him to be nice. They wanted to spend some time(3 months now) to know each other and a decision has not been made yet(till date). Parents met him twice during their visit to USA. He did his Postdoc(after phd) and presently in the final stages of research papers. Doesn't have a job yet(as he is still studying), but hopes to have no issues when it comes to looking for a job. After talking to him, my dad felt the same way. because of his stamping issue(doesn't want to risk his 10 years of education for visa stamping. wants to visit india only after getting GC), he wants the wedding to happen in USA His mom passed away several years ago, his dad got re-married. Hence, he has no ties to his family in India and haven't been to India in last 8 years. Has 2 brothers both settled in India.

Now the issue is, since he has been in the studying phase since the time he came to USA, he is frugal. Whenever he comes to see my sis, he asks her to share expenses 50-50. Always looks for cheapest deals and doesn't spend money at all. But he managed to buy a plot in india(with the research money that he got and his parents didn't pay a penny for his studies). He calls her only after 9PM or weekends so that he won't waste minutes on phone. My sis will be meeting him next week(in a place other than his or hers) and hence had to book hotel for the stay. Now, he wants only one room to be booked to save on money even though she is ready to pay it in full by herself. I was shocked to hear that because it has not been finalized that they like each other and he wants only one room to be booked. My sis already told him that she doesn't like him in the money matters and rest all qualities are good. He seems to be positive about my sis and (looks like) he is all set to marry her.

Do you guys see this as a red flag? He doesn't seem to have any bad habits and seems to be very careful about future savings. Has a strong education background with no career issues. My sis is a consultant and can't predict her next project. My parents want her to say ok to guy as they don't see anything negative and also she will turn 29 in next couple of months.

I am not sure to what extent his behavior will take my sis to. If she doesn't have job, then will he give her pocket money? My sis spends a little more than needed and believes in a comfortable life. does she have to cook at home all the time and not eat out? will he restrict her to go on any vacations? or spend time with her girl friends? I know these are not life\death state issues. But very important to get an idea so that we can predict and be prepared for the future. She can change herself to some extent, but since we are used to spend moderately, it will be hard for her to change quickly.

Mine was love marriage and had good time in USA and know how it feels like to be independent and not restricted. My husband(then boyfriend) never said no to anything(things now changed though). And we keep seeing friends going on vacations, buying nice cars, houses, posting on Facebook, etc and my sis wants her life to atleast a little enjoyable(since she didn't have close friends, she didn't see much of USA) and is craving for the husband to take her places.

Could you please help me out here....is there a scope for the guy to change(a little). can he give more importance to character than money(esp after seeing the case of hotel room).My sis lost some weight.She is fair and moderately good looking. We are still getting alliances, but almost sure that they will not pass photo phase. My parents are getting worried.

 

Thanks for pointing it out nalinidiv. I changed the word to frugal.

basically, he doesn't spend money at all or spends very carefully..

 

My sister is ready to adjust. He is not expecting any dowry as such, but some property on her(sis)name or something like that to show his family that he taking care of finances. He is ok if my sis doesn't work after marriage, but would like her to work to save some money for future. We all are ok with the marriage to happen in USA as we are left with no choice and we will take full responsibility of wedding expenses. Getting her married is our main aim now(in past we have rejected such alliances, but time is running out).
My sis booked 2 rooms and he told her book so that she can bear the expenses(flight booked by him), but wanted to keep an option open to cancel one room in last minute if needed.

 

My sis already told him that she is not comfortable with him in the money matters. He listened and kept quiet. But when travel plans comes up he directs in such a way that she has to pay full expenses or do 50-50. They went to restaurant once(he paid) and when he came to my sis's place, he preferred that she cook and also intimated to make it in bulk so that he can take it along with him. We are ok till this extent as we understand that he is a student. But booking only one room raises the doubt. We are 110% sure that he is not a bad guy and doesn't have any bad intentions. But, sometimes, money should be secondary in such sensitive issues.

She has been working out since a couple of years. Lost weight, put on weight, etc.gets depressed sometimes seeing the alliances and their requirements..and the importance that they give to weight compared to everything else. And she(me too) doesn't want such a guy. cuz women put on weight after wedding and having kids too..what if the guy's perspective changes? We have very few hopes that we will pass photo round even for the next set of alliances that we get. Even our closest relatives referrals failed.

 

He is super careful in spending money. It is ok to some extent. But this is just the beginning and I wonder whats next in store..
My sis doesn't feel excited and doesn't look forward to him everyday(he calls only after 9pm) just because he seems frugal.
Me and my parents can tell her to adjust as we don't see any bad quality in him. But I want to be sure that we are guiding her in correct direction. She will be all by herself in USA and we can't do much from here.