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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by han412, Apr 21, 2014.

  1. Apr 21, 2014 #1
    han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

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    Why why do people change when their son gets married? Whats with the insecurity?? First they are worried about getting the perfect match then every possible move is made to break the marriage. Is it that IL are secure in the knowledge that an Indian woman will only break the marriage as the last possible recourse. I have read so many posts here which shows really the limit to which IL and particularly MIL will go.
    Lets mothers of sons vow that we will not behave insensitively with our DIL. I agree that not all MIL are evil and not all DIL are miss goody two shoes, but all I am saying that when the time comes lets give them space and we too let us then enjoy our lives.
    We owe our sons atleast that much if we love them.
    Lets be proactive, if there is nothing we can do about our present situation atleast lets not do the same thing to someone else.
    Any thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
    han412, Apr 21, 2014
    han412, Apr 21, 2014
    #1
    5 people like this.
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  2. Apr 21, 2014 #2
    kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    agree with you 100%
     
    kelly1966, Apr 21, 2014
    kelly1966, Apr 21, 2014
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  3. Apr 21, 2014 #3
    DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    Already taken that vow! Not just me, but my DH also has sworn that when our son grows older, he will be allowed to be independent and that we will only give advice if requested. I made this decision because my parents told both my sis and me that once married they would never interfere or give any advice unless asked by us. And they have kept that promise. DH took this decision after seeing how my parents behaved vs. his parents (they as typical in-laws still try to treat him like a 5 year old).
    He openly told me that when our son grows older he wants him to be genuinely happy to see us on a regular basis and not just tolerate us because we are his parents.
     
    DKI, Apr 21, 2014
    DKI, Apr 21, 2014
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  4. Apr 21, 2014 #4
    nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    I wud like to add a clause in ur vow. as mothers lets treat daughters and son equally and give dem household chores irrepective of the sex they belong to.. Atleast let our DILs not suffer juggling too many roles in the future. Wat say ladies?
     
    nalinidiv, Apr 21, 2014
    nalinidiv, Apr 21, 2014
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  5. Apr 21, 2014 #5
    han412

    han412 Gold IL'ite

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    @nalinidiv , our future DIL will thank us for that.
     
    han412, Apr 21, 2014
    han412, Apr 21, 2014
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  6. Apr 21, 2014 #6
    DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    My son already has his share of chores....and I keep telling him that when he grows older and marries, if he does not help out 2 things will happen
    1) His wife will probably walk out!
    2) She will curse me for raising such a kid.

    He does not have much to do around the home...but these are his:
    taking the trash out and bringing the empty cans in the next morning
    setting the table for meals
    keeping his room clean
    in fall: helps to rake the leaves
    in winter: helps to shovel the snow.
     
    DKI, Apr 21, 2014
    DKI, Apr 21, 2014
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  7. Apr 21, 2014 #7
    darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi han412,

    What you have shown above is a wonderful feeling. Truly, if every MIL has the same attitude, then 8 out of ten domestic conflicts will got resolved on their own.

    But, right now, you are in your thirties, still belonging to the DIL's age group.

    I wish, the same attitude which you have today, persist in you, after two decades from now when you enter into your fifties.

    Sadly, for many woman, the process of redefining one's own concepts and attitude takes place , the day, they enter into MIL group from DIL group. I wish the same does not happen with you. Then, your son would be a very lucky guy to get a non interfering mother !

    Good luck !
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
    darmesh, Apr 21, 2014
    darmesh, Apr 21, 2014
    #7
    3 people like this.

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