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Diamond in the Rough

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by zipzipzoomzoom, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    Editor's Note: Congratulations! Your post has been chosen as the best of forums. For viewership by a larger audience I have converted it to an article here.

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    Thread is in response to http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/245441-what-wives-can-do-strong.html

    I read that marriage is a diamond in the rough. First few years need polishing and hard work, and years later it become a glistening, shiny, and priceless diamond. This is good reminder for newly weds, especially the insecure ones

    * Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff: If you ask your Husband to do something and he forgets or doesn't want to do it, just let it go

    * Empathize with husband: If he's cranky, it's not always because of you. Understand your circumstances, there are times we go through rough patches

    * Never text when you are angry. NEVER NEVER EVER: I learned this the hard way, and was crying about this the whole day. I had blown a minor thing out of proportion. Instead of praying to God, I made poor choice and had to pick up pieces afterwards

    * People you didn't like make the best allies: I had a turbulent relationship with my mom, and now I realize it was because of my own immaturity and misconceptions. She really gives great advice, and helps my dear husband

    * When God made all of us, he included himself in the masterpiece: We are all made in the image of God. If you husband doesn't have job, or is unable to get good job, you look beyond that and see his potential. Even better, you begin to realize your own potential as a spirit who is having human experiences

    * People you liked make the worst allies: This is not intentional, but people in unhappy marriages feel they need to give you marriage advice, only for you to feel reduced to size and hopeless

    which brings me to my last point

    * Look to God, because he give you all you need: This is something we have to learn, and it will take many many lifetimes (source Bhagavad Gita). When you feel reduced to size and hopeless always remind yourself that God is bigger and God has final say in your marriage!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2014
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  2. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Very well said Z4.
    how have you been?
     
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  3. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Good tips z4
     
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  4. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    Ahhhhh where are my replies??????

    I have been well. Very busy, but well, taking things one day at a time, and thanking God when things go smoothly
     
  5. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    ..........and once you understand that you are not the reason for his crankiness, leave him alone. Don't keep nagging him asking for the reasons for his upset ! (just felt like adding this sentence).:)
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2014
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  6. coolwinds

    coolwinds Platinum IL'ite

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    hey Z4, thanks for taking the time to list out points that are general in nature and allow for reflection and introspection in both partners.
     
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  7. HasteRaho

    HasteRaho Platinum IL'ite

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    Great list Z4!

    I really appreciated you listing not to dwell on the small things, to not nag the husband for something he's forgotten to do (gently remind him) and never act impulsively especially if your thoughts are negative (don't act impassively when you are angry, allow anger to subside and control your emotions…breath in, breath out and then resolve the issue).

    :) Very thoughtful.
     
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  8. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Not thoughtful only, but practically useful also ! Great words, z4 !
     
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  9. aditibose78

    aditibose78 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Il-ites, zipzipzoomzoom has drawn a very interesting analogy to marriage - a rough diamond. For viewership by a larger audience I have converted it to an article here. I have also heard of old wine and the spicy Indian pickle. What analogy would you draw?
     
  10. Geetamohan

    Geetamohan Bronze IL'ite

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    Good tips zipzipzoomzoom.

    Practically they are very useful
     

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