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Sharing marital problems with opposite gender friends

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Dec 30, 2013.

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  1. Dec 30, 2013 #1
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    What do you think about sharing marital problems with friends of opposite gender?

    IMO, a man sharing his marital problems with a female friend, or a woman sharing her marital problems with a male friend, is inviting trouble. That shoulder chosen to sob on, should ideally be of the same gender.
     
    Rihana, Dec 30, 2013
    Rihana, Dec 30, 2013
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  2. Dec 31, 2013 #2
    littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    will not be a problem if the opposite gender always keeps himself in listening mode.
    But most of them will not stay like that so Your opinion is true Rihana.
     
    littl, Dec 31, 2013
    littl, Dec 31, 2013
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  3. Dec 31, 2013 #3
    sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    deleted ......
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013
    sweetypi, Dec 31, 2013
    sweetypi, Dec 31, 2013
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  4. Dec 31, 2013 #4
    riya123

    riya123 Gold IL'ite

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    In my opinion one should be indifferent w.r.t gender when it comes to sharing problems. Honestly, I would go to a person with better problem solving ability and pragmatic approach to solve my problem (marital or any other related). I really don't get why it should be of the same gender?
     
    riya123, Dec 31, 2013
    riya123, Dec 31, 2013
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  5. Dec 31, 2013 #5
    Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Rihana, nice topic as always.

    Reminds me of the movie "Mitr - my friend".

    I agree with you personally. However, I have seen that Caucasians are more open in this regard. They share glimpses of their personal life to either gender without any hesitation like in "I am upset today. I had a fight with my wife this morning" Then tell the complete story. I guess if someone is doing it on a regular/daily basis than it is definitely an issue.
     
    Akanksha1982, Dec 31, 2013
    Akanksha1982, Dec 31, 2013
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  6. Dec 31, 2013 #6
    droplet

    droplet Silver IL'ite

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    If one really want to share problems.. Better it is with same gender.
    It's even better to share problems in IL. Trusting a 'virtual' friend to a 'real' friend who can turn troublesome some time later
     
    droplet, Dec 31, 2013
    droplet, Dec 31, 2013
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  7. Dec 31, 2013 #7
    aashuabhi

    aashuabhi Gold IL'ite

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    I feel that sharing marital problems with opposite gender is not a good idea, howsoever close that friend be. I did this mistake once, when i shared it one of my friend whom i respected very much. But it went the wrong way, he thought may be I am not satisfied with my DH and he tried to fill in that place (which was not why i told him).

    I think its mainly because girls and boys have different thought process. While girls want only an ear to listen, boys take it as a situation to intervene and help.

    Well that case costed me a guilty ride and a good friend as well. So i think its better to share with same gender or may be a virtual forum like IL, where you have some trust that you will get a un-biased advice.
     
    aashuabhi, Dec 31, 2013
    aashuabhi, Dec 31, 2013
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  8. Dec 31, 2013 #8
    englishtutorjul

    englishtutorjul Silver IL'ite

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    Agree, but more of the opinion that, before even you share the problem with a friend of any gender, share it with your spouse first! :)
     
    englishtutorjul, Dec 31, 2013
    englishtutorjul, Dec 31, 2013
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  9. Dec 31, 2013 #9
    aashuabhi

    aashuabhi Gold IL'ite

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    You are absolutely right. First share the problem with your spouse, there is no better opposite gender person and friend to listen and guide.
     
    aashuabhi, Dec 31, 2013
    aashuabhi, Dec 31, 2013
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  10. Dec 31, 2013 #10
    coolwinds

    coolwinds Platinum IL'ite

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    simple. just share it on IL.
     
    coolwinds, Dec 31, 2013
    coolwinds, Dec 31, 2013
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