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Is this common?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Akanksha1982, Nov 27, 2013.

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  1. Nov 27, 2013 #1
    Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    My DH pushes me in case of negotiations whether it is with a vendor, customer service or at booths if the other side is a male. If there is a female, he does the negotiations. He tells me that people get better service and deals with the opposite sex and also it is an opportunity for me to learn in case he is not around (he travels a lot as well). However, i am totally uncomfortable with negotiations and dealings. He does it very good. He can make up stories, make decisions on the fly, and can negotiate good deals. I on the other hand, am not too articulate and not able to lie or tell stories or take decisions on my own. I feel inferior even on this forum when i read responses of other ladies and appreciate how well they are able to convey their points and views. Can you please provide some suggestions?
     
    Akanksha1982, Nov 27, 2013
    Akanksha1982, Nov 27, 2013
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    1 person likes this.
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  2. Nov 27, 2013 #2
    simpleMom

    simpleMom Gold IL'ite

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    Your husband is an MBA(???). There is a course - Bargaining and Negotiations which many students pursue. Perhaps, your husbands skills are coming from there. Ask him to teach you. He already knows a lot - finding the weakness of the other party and milking it to your benefit. Opposite sex yielding better service is one such tactic.
     
    simpleMom, Nov 27, 2013
    simpleMom, Nov 27, 2013
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  3. Nov 27, 2013 #3
    chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Its good that your hubby wants you to be able to manage things independently and provides you opportunities for that. You can observe him when he bargains and try to learn and develop those skills.
     
    chillbreeze, Nov 27, 2013
    chillbreeze, Nov 27, 2013
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  4. Nov 27, 2013 #4
    cutiepie66

    cutiepie66 Gold IL'ite

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    Trying to be modest Akanksha?? I have read some of your sensible replies in this forum. I don't know why you are feeling inferior when you are capable of understanding someone's problem and give solution to them.

    Anyway, coming to your question, its quite normal. Even I am bit hesitant to buy from female sellers. But, I can easily negotiate with male sellers. May be your husband is right. As he says, it may be easy for you when he is not around.

    P.S. Even I have felt inferior many a times in this forum reading others coherent and sensible replies. Anyway, learning a lot from you girls :)
     
    cutiepie66, Nov 27, 2013
    cutiepie66, Nov 27, 2013
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  5. Nov 27, 2013 #5
    chetavani50

    chetavani50 Gold IL'ite

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    Akanksha,
    Your post is just the opposite of my post. See it in the recent posts if you want. My DH doesn't allow me to talk to my maid servant even and here your DH is encouraging you to go and communicate. Nice.
    And, certainly, even I feel inferior in this forum as well as at my workplace when my friends take decisions immediately where as I have to call to my DH for permission when we have to go for lunch.
     
    chetavani50, Nov 27, 2013
    chetavani50, Nov 27, 2013
    #5
  6. Nov 27, 2013 #6
    Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah he is MBA.
     
    Akanksha1982, Nov 27, 2013
    Akanksha1982, Nov 27, 2013
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  7. Nov 27, 2013 #7
    chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This forum is one place where we can be ourselves and not required to take permission from DH or ILs to share our thoughts. Rest assured, we all are different and talented in various things and its not necessary to feel inferior if our writing style and eloquence differs. So ladies, enjoy your time here and use it well rather than feeling bad.:cheers
     
    chillbreeze, Nov 27, 2013
    chillbreeze, Nov 27, 2013
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  8. Nov 27, 2013 #8
    jeera2013

    jeera2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Akanksha,
    Why are you feeling inferior if you can communicate your concern so well in your original post? Language is for communication. The listener/reader should understand what you are trying to say. If your concern is expanding the vocabulary, you can try as there are various means of improving it.

    If you stop feeling inferior, I think you will gain confidence in interacting with people. If there is a need for you to interact with the groups you have mentioned, you do it yourself, be it same gender or opposite gender. Dont depend on him. You can ask for guidance from him. You can definitely do it.
     
    jeera2013, Nov 27, 2013
    jeera2013, Nov 27, 2013
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  9. Nov 27, 2013 #9
    ChandrikaV

    ChandrikaV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Akanksha,

    I see that you live in USA. Just curious about what kind of negotiations you encounter in day to day life? I can think of big ticket items like car, house etc.....just wondering...
     
    ChandrikaV, Nov 27, 2013
    ChandrikaV, Nov 27, 2013
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  10. Nov 27, 2013 #10
    Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    Also wondering where the "skill" of lying would be necessary here...
     
    Ansuya, Nov 27, 2013
    Ansuya, Nov 27, 2013
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    2 people like this.
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