Why do people need/have kids

Akanksha1982 · Oct 17, 2013

Today while driving back from work, i saw a lady with a stroller and two toddlers walking besides her crossing the road at the signal. Suddenly a question popped up my mind as to why do people have or need kids? I know it is really stupid but went on a thought with it and came up with some reasons but nothing satisfactory and thought of sharing with the group here.

Extend family name: This has been one of the traditional reasons of having kids and used to be big as people were recognized more by the family they belong to than their personal capabilities. However, in a more global world today, with kids, siblings, cousins scattered all around the world, how much of the family name is relevant today. Family also pressurizes couples to have kids for this reason.

Take care of parents in old age: This has been an expectation of most parents and most parents are disappointed because most kids prefer to not stay in joint family. Most DILs-MILs do not get along anyway. Kids may live in a different city/country due to work and hence can't be around to take care of parents.

Joy of parenthood: I am sure it is great to be a parent, give birth, baby steps, play with kids, first smile, etc. But how long does this joy last? 3 years, 5 years 10 years?

Instead, if a couple saves all the money spent on Kids, they can have a more independent and better life and eventually better retirement.

I know it is a weird thought and may be i will go through the same journey of having kids as well, but wanted to know why people need/have kids? What are people's expectations when they decide of having kids?

heron · Oct 17, 2013

I had first one for me and second one for the first one.

cutiepie66 · Oct 17, 2013

In most of the cases, it has become like if you don't have kids, you will be looked down by the society. That is one of the main reasons to have kids, at least in India. (You may wonder whether people, even in this era still feel that way. Yes. They do).

After a point of time, people's life becomes monotonous. Say, for example till 20 we spend our days in studying. After that we look for job. We settle in a good job. Next comes the marriage. We get married. Enjoy for a year or so. After that life becomes saturated and people need some hold to live. Once we have kids, we tend to get a thought that we should live at least for the kids. May be it's a kind of dependency. Rather it's like you have to live for someone in this world. When we live for ourselves, we feel that we have no meaning in our life. To move ahead with life and to engage ourselves more in our life, people expect kids.

Also, as other parents say (am yet to experience it) they tend to experience boundless love through their children. The love for one's own child can never be matched with any other love in this world. In most of the cases, it has become like if you don't have kids, you will be looked down by the society. That is one of the main reasons to have kids, at least in India. (You may wonder whether people, even in this era still feel that way. Yes. They do).

After a point of time, people's life becomes monotonous. Say, for example till 20 we spend our days in studying. After that we look for job. We settle in a good job. Next comes the marriage. We get married. Enjoy for a year or so. After that life becomes saturated and people need some hold to live. Once we have kids, we tend to get a thought that we should live at least for the kids. May be it's a kind of dependency. Rather it's like you have to live for someone in this world. When we live for ourselves, we feel that we have no meaning in our life. To move ahead with life and to engage ourselves more in our life, people expect kids.

Also, as other parents say (am yet to experience it) they tend to experience boundless love through their children. The love for one's own child can never be matched with any other love in this world.

vidyalatha · Oct 17, 2013

totally agree with cutiepie comments

cutiepie66 · Oct 17, 2013

vidyalatha said: ↑

totally agree with cutiepie comments
Click to expand...

Thank You Vidyalatha

FE40 · Oct 17, 2013

Akanksha1982 said: ↑

Instead, if a couple saves all the money spent on Kids, they can have a more independent and better life and eventually better retirement.

I know it is a weird thought and may be i will go through the same journey of having kids as well, but wanted to know why people need/have kids? What are people's expectations when they decide of having kids?
Click to expand...

Hi OP,

Throughout the life, we get love in different forms. From Parents, siblings, friends, lover, then kids. Each love is different from the other and can never ever be compared. Likewise, kids love for us and our love for them is also special. To experience it and to have the feeling of responsibility or rather can say, meaning in life one should have kid(s).

When i got separated, many a times i went to a depressed mode (even sometimes used to ask myself, is there any need for me to live, etc), but when i see my kids, i realize the meaning of my life.

Similarly, sometimes a couple hold together for the sake of kid. Most of the cases it is a pain, but there are some cases, where they (man and woman) realize the love between them during the course of time.

peet1983 · Oct 17, 2013

Answer is simple..Nothing can replace the experience which you will get when your kid hugs and kiss you..it will cure the deepest wounds in your mind.. makes your life moving

Akanksha1982 · Oct 17, 2013

Kids also give the deepest wounds and disappointments.

peet1983 said: ↑

Answer is simple..Nothing can replace the experience which you will get when your kid hugs and kiss you..it will cure the deepest wounds in your mind.. makes your life moving
Click to expand...

flowerlady · Oct 17, 2013

Dear OP,
Aren't you happy that your parents decided to have you and your siblings ?? And their parents before them and the link goes on.
Having kids is natural, it comes with the nesting instinct at the right age.
All people do not want to have kids , they adopt the homeless orphans, some people are happy without kids.

But in marriage having /not having kids is not a solo decision, both partners have to agree whether they want to remain childless or not.
Even animals and birds procreate though they do not have any particular agenda in mind like humans.
Some people think that babies can mend fragile marriages , strengthen the bond between spouses , not true.
Its true that kids give a lot of happiness/ heartache to parents but its all a part of the game.