1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Emotional abuse or mama's boy...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Kazjul, Jan 22, 2013.

Page 2 of 2
  1. Jan 24, 2013 #11
    ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,862
    Likes Received:
    5,090
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you remember any good time with him, that can help you overcome the current grief period?
    Has he been physically abusive to you? An indian court will consider this as the main reason.. unless you both decide for a mutual consent.... which I feel he's not going to... being a control freak... he might not like to let you go with daughter that easily.
    Do you have your proofs and documents with you.. when you left his home?

    I wish you a happier life ahead.. with or without this current husband.
     
    ShilpaMa, Jan 24, 2013
    ShilpaMa, Jan 24, 2013
    #11
  2. Jan 24, 2013 #12
    Kazjul

    Kazjul New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Sokanasanah.

    I couldn't live with what he told me at the end...it was beyond my coping limits. But he never even tried to contact my parents atleast for his daughters sake...I have taken legal advice here. I can file for a divorce and it can take 5-6 months accrdg to the lawyer. But I do not know my options in India..
     
    Kazjul, Jan 24, 2013
    Kazjul, Jan 24, 2013
    #12
  3. Jan 24, 2013 #13
    Kazjul

    Kazjul New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Shilpama,

    He raised his hand only once when I was pregnant. Also, my mother spoke strong words to him because of it. So he took that as a reminder. He is very cunning like that. There was no physical abuse later but mental ,yes. After that if we had any issues he would just boil with rage. But the thing was he would keep on blaming my mother for it. which mother would like her daughter to be treated this way? Especially since I was having complications in my pregnancy & top of this being beaten. He kept on bringing my mother up for the remaining 3 & 1/2 yrs...he just couldn't let go..though I kept my family away..

    Its just that I keep on remembering the good things instead of negative things abt his behaviour!
     
    Kazjul, Jan 24, 2013
    Kazjul, Jan 24, 2013
    #13
  4. Jan 24, 2013 #14
    sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,959
    Likes Received:
    6,862
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    Yes, he should have. It does say something about his perspective.

    Not just divorce, but a comprehensive list of options - child-custody, can your daughter stay with you, what happens when she is an adult, can she opt for citizenship where you are, can your husband file lawsuits for custody in India even after divorce .... get the big picture. You have to protect your daughter's interests, since she cannot do it for herself. To do that effectively, you need as fine-grained a picture as you can generate.

    If you are clear in your mind about that, then 6-months for a divorce is not so bad. I hope you are referring to EU law, not UAE!
     
    sokanasanah, Jan 24, 2013
    sokanasanah, Jan 24, 2013
    #14
  5. Jan 25, 2013 #15
    Flyingsparks

    Flyingsparks Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear kazjul,
    Lots & lots of hugs to you...no words for what kind of person he is..he is not even thi king for his daughter..
    You don't have to put up with him and ur daughter doesn't deserve such a person as father...
    All i would say is be brave,think with your head.

    All the other ilites have given excellent suggestions..seek help,explore options..but first of all be safe & brave..

    Take care..
     
    Flyingsparks, Jan 25, 2013
    Flyingsparks, Jan 25, 2013
    #15
Page 2 of 2

Share This Page