Please help me with this situation..

bhavatarini · Nov 18, 2012

Dearest friends please help me with this situation:
My husband cannot handle even a silly difference with me , he brings these issues to his parent's notice and include them in our fights and they always support him and say hurting words to me .. and later my dh blackmails me saying he would involve my parents and tell them about our fights... My parents don't poke there nose in my issues and I dont want to involve them for such silly matters. What should I do ?

menong · Nov 18, 2012

well, i guess you can't do anything much in this situation... but is your husband a 3 yr old kid? If you have a genuinely waRM RELATIONSHIP with your sil/bil/mil/fil tell them in a joking manner to allow your dh to fight things himself w/o involving them. Also dont get tensed that he will call your parents. Strike preemptively. Tell your mom / dad in a joking manner that your hubby hates to lose even a small fight with you and go on enlisting support of everyone to win. Ask them to stay neutral incase he calls so that your case is not weakened. So that when he calls your parents are not surprised.

Just a doubt: How long did you know your spouse before marrying? did you see this facet of his before marriage as well?

soni1987 · Nov 18, 2012

Same as my Brother in Law and Sis in Law

Mahajanpragati · Nov 18, 2012

tell in laws not to interfer........
remind hubby that inlaws beingold may get sick or high BP due to your giving tension to them.......he will be blamed & justly so.

bhavatarini · Nov 19, 2012

Dear Menong , thanks for your reply. There is a funny side to everything indeed! I knew him for 6 months , he always spoke about my responsibilities towards his parents .. I dint find it odd.. but he cannot stay not telling them anything.. its embarrassing to go into details , let him do anything with his parents but why involve my parents ? who are nowhere in picture.. he cannot win an argument in fight and goes into blackmailing mode!

ShilpaMa · Nov 19, 2012

Step1 : Remind him, he's grown up now, some boys n gals never go out of the mode of TELLING MOM/ DAD.. what went on in the day... the ritual that starts with pre-schools never ends... until the soul departs.

Step2: Tell your parents not to get hassled with ur H's calls... or rather not to take his calls.

Step3: Remind him that atleast you're a grown up and can handle these issues on your own, and warn him not to approach your parents and if he still does it .. then on his own risk.

Step4: Tell your parents to give him a strong reply to not to come complaining to them like a small child, unless he's ready to agree on his mistakes.

Nothing worse can happen after this.. ensure that all your siblings are married and your H and inlaws presence is no more mandated on your side.