Should I Marry my Fiancee - Please Advise

padmapriya1 · Nov 15, 2012

I would suggest a NO as this will not keep you happy for long...
Better to say a NO now itself than to worry late after wedlock.
Decision is yours..

Wish you all the best ..

coolwinds · Nov 15, 2012

Priya16 said: ↑

You met her around 16years of age and her's is around 18years.
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Priya16, thanks for pointing this out.

i am now starting to question the authenticity of this post.

Naksh · Nov 15, 2012

Karanverma said: ↑

Lukywife,

-Thank you for responding !!

Well, I agree that everyone has right to wear whatever one desires. However, being a man, I know that 'most' men (I am being very diplomatic, when I say 'most' ) will always develop lust towards women in short skirts (and I am stopping just here). I do not want my wife to be a showpiece and would expect my wife to think on same lines. Yes, I agree that I am conservative.
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some people...keep us hanging in mid air. We fall for them and develop feeligns they would say things. Space and all other 'hi-class' stuff and say 'ITS OVER' a thousand one times...by closing and opening their eyes dramatically. we go aggressive and want to end it...they drop a tear and turn everythign upside down. Hard to leave them.your behavior is not wrong, acceptable. but you will be better off finding someone else i think in theory..but practicaly u like her...so you can easily adjust wih everything except short dresses i guess.

Karanverma · Nov 15, 2012

Coolwinds,

Priya16 is absolutely right, when she said that we met when I was 16 years and she was 18 years. We met online; I would like to reiterate that I met her online as a 16-year old guy. Please do not question the authenticity of this post because if this was not serious, I would have simply posted the question and simply not bothered about the replies. I posted this thread with all seriousness and with my proper name.

Karanverma · Nov 15, 2012

I would like to thank you all again for all your responses.

Just an update:

She and I have discussed this today for a long time. She insisted, I was right and she was wrong. She said, she realized that any husband would expect the same from his wife. She made me recall that she anyway stopped going to disco's and late night shows with male friends. She said, she was living in a dream world and that she was unable to understand my love for her. She said that she wouldn't marry anyone other than me.

We are currently trying to understand each other's expectations, determining whether our expectations are realistic or not, whether we can adjust with each other, whether our relationship can sustain, et al. I must note here that the discussion was every thing under the sky and was very open in nature. So, I am hopeful, we would arrive at a correct decision.

As a person, she is still very nice. Just that there are (nah, there were) some difference of opinions.

I would again like to thank each and everyone for taking time to respond to this thread and offer their impartial suggestions. All of them have been so nice and so gentle in their responses and I am indeed thankful to everyone of you. Thank you so much again.

SaleemaRex · Nov 15, 2012

She may say she'll change for you and you may think you'll change for her. But changing for someone else can eat the relationship, it can develop into bitterness.

If both of you can accept each other without expecting the other to change, then go ahead if not you'll be taking a big gamble.

Karanverma · Nov 15, 2012

DrKadambari said: ↑

Just reminds me of one movie dialogue in a regional language - Girl in the house has to wrap completely but he drolls over other girls outside wearing revealing cloths / even sari for that matter. (what he does, is what he thinks the world is / the world is filled with people like him)
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An aunt in my neighborhood is fairer (in complexion), taller and prettier in looks than my mom. However, when my mom and the aunt walk beside each other, I watch my mom with affection. Moreover, I love and admire my mom the most. She might be prettier but it is my mom, who draws my attention. I love my fiancee.

justanothergirl · Nov 15, 2012

She and I have discussed this today for a long time. She insisted, I was right and she was wrong. She said, she realized that any husband would expect the same from his wife. She made me recall that she anyway stopped going to disco's and late night shows with male friends. She said, she was living in a dream world and that she was unable to understand my love for her. She said that she wouldn't marry anyone other than me.
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One long discussion...and we have a wiser fiancee who insists she was at fault and such a clean solution...

DrKadambari · Nov 15, 2012

By the decision of marring you she has to completely change her lifestyle. Its not a matter of one month or two... its something for life she has to change. She might get into that feeling of I am missing on something.

Just because what she is doing is not wrong, she lives that way as she likes it. Changing when you are NOT at mistake and just because spouse does not like is unexplainable.

Karanverma · Nov 15, 2012

DrKadambari said: ↑

By the decision of marring you she has to completely change her lifestyle. Its not a matter of one month or two... its something for life she has to change. She might get into that feeling of I am missing on something.

Just because what she is doing is not wrong, she lives that way as she likes it. Changing when you are NOT at mistake and just because spouse does not like is unexplainable.
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"Changing when you are NOT at mistake and just because spouse does not like is unexplainable"
-> I absolutely agree. That is why we are still weighing our chances to determine if it would be a successful marriage or not. Our parents have anyway stated that they would accept whatever decision we take; so, the onus is on us !! We do not want to disappoint them with our decision, if it turns out to be a wrong one !!