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How do you feel about your kids moving out of your house?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by apaasn, Oct 26, 2012.

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  1. Oct 26, 2012 #1
    apaasn

    apaasn Gold IL'ite

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    I recently saw a tv show where in the elder one in the family moves out of the house to join college and start his/her own life? The American parents both mom and dad are choked up driving the kid to college and setting up the room.
    I was quite overwhelmed and told my husband that we too have to drop our dear baby to college one day. I was pretty emotional thinking about it although there is a long time for that.

    But ultimately me and me husband decided that we would allow our kid to be on his own when the time came. We would always visit but we would let go when he was ready to fly.

    So I was wondering what my friends settled abroad think about this?

    Will you embrace the American way in this aspect and let your kid move out?
    I have heard some people so horrified abt this that they even move back to India which I think is unfair to the kid brought up here.
    If you are planning to settle in the US and have kids what do you and your spouse think about this?
     
    apaasn, Oct 26, 2012
    apaasn, Oct 26, 2012
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  2. Oct 26, 2012 #2
    whatisaguytodo

    whatisaguytodo Gold IL'ite

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    I think the father's are fine with it, moms have issues. Especially when the eldest kid moves out. According to my brother and sister when I left for university in the US my mom cried for a few days.
     
    whatisaguytodo, Oct 26, 2012
    whatisaguytodo, Oct 26, 2012
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  3. Oct 26, 2012 #3
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    DH and I believe we are American enough to let our kids date and other things that some desi parents don't let their kids do. We also believe in educating them about sex, birth control and waiting till you are really really sure to have sex, but we don't expect abstinence till wedding. And there's more.. (we are really amazing ?! :) ) if either child came to us and presented a partner of the same gender, they would have our blessings.. again if they are very sure that is what they want.

    About kid flying the nest and going to college, yes, that will happen too, and we'll hope they pick a college in our state so it is easier to visit, but if they don't, oh well. But, didn't some of us in India also go to colleges in different cities/states for degrees like B.E. or MBBS? Wouldn't it be the same? What is American about kid going away to college?
     
    Rihana, Oct 26, 2012
    Rihana, Oct 26, 2012
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  4. Oct 26, 2012 #4
    veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    That is my worst nightmare coming to true. I am not sure If I can be as amazing as you guys :) I wish & Pray that never happens LoL. May be I go crazy like Abhishek's mom in Dosthana

     
    veeramachaneni, Oct 26, 2012
    veeramachaneni, Oct 26, 2012
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  5. Oct 26, 2012 #5
    steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe they are making plans to go on that Alaska/Bahamas/... cruise/vacation on the drive/flight back home.

    Choking up when dropping the kid has nothing to do with clinging on to the kid. People react differently. The fact that they are dropping the kid at college is 'letting go', otherwise they will keep the kid home sending to a local community college or university. Once you leave a kid on a university campus, things take their own course.
     
    steve, Oct 26, 2012
    steve, Oct 26, 2012
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  6. Oct 26, 2012 #6
    slimshady

    slimshady Silver IL'ite

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    It is always easy now for us to say we would definitely let go off the kids when time comes.. But unless we have been there and done that noone will truly knowhow it feels.. When i left home to go to my university, my mom n i who have always been like north pole n south pole, just couldnt bear the separation for the first few months.. But slowly we got over it. Now we both know how independent i have become, how useful that separation for few years has helped me.
     
    slimshady, Oct 26, 2012
    slimshady, Oct 26, 2012
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  7. Oct 26, 2012 #7
    SaleemaRex

    SaleemaRex Gold IL'ite

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    I would actively encourage my daughters to go for an University away from home. It would be a good experience for them. I would worry about them and very likely call every one hour to check if they are alright for the first few weeks but will definitely won't be too upset. Only 2 1/2 years more for my elder daughter to start Uni :)
     
    SaleemaRex, Oct 26, 2012
    SaleemaRex, Oct 26, 2012
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  8. Oct 26, 2012 #8
    ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    How do I feel - Freeedooom!!!!!
    Now don't gang up and label me bad mom. Been there and done that. Enjoying every minute of it watching the struggles and victories of kids. They are just diamonds in the ruff. With god's challenges and blessings they will be sparkling.
     
    ars, Oct 26, 2012
    ars, Oct 26, 2012
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  9. Oct 26, 2012 #9
    apaasn

    apaasn Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for all the responses.Nice to hear that some of you have already dealt with this.
    I forgot to add this question,If your kid finishes college and gets a job in your city will he/she move back in with you like in India?
     
    apaasn, Oct 26, 2012
    apaasn, Oct 26, 2012
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  10. Oct 26, 2012 #10
    slimshady

    slimshady Silver IL'ite

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    If its a girl.. She can be with us if she wants to... But if its a boy, he has to live by himself.. :)
     
    slimshady, Oct 26, 2012
    slimshady, Oct 26, 2012
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