My husband is missing :-)

P.S.........If you had a bad day and if the probability of you becoming electronically abusive is high, I recommend that you do not continue reading this thread.


You took the bait dint ya....... :biglaugh ........... Now read on....

My husband frequently has this habit of pulling a "disappearing act" like the ones we see in Magic shows.

The man whom I got married to disappears and some other "being" takes his place for a few days and then the original returns.

He is generally a sensible, very calm and affectionate man of very few words who makes me believe that he likes spending time with me.

But there are some incidents that :confused2: me.

For example, during early marriage days, when we entertained guests, he will order me around as if I am his genie whose main aim in life is to serve him .... just to prove to someone that he is the king of his home.

Well a nice American lady cured him of that sickness.:notthatway:


Next...When his parents visit, he converts into this deaf, dumb and blind being (Gandhi's monkeys?) Who will not see my long hours in the kitchen, does not hear their "loving" words towards me nor does he talk to them about it.

The minute they are gone, he is back to the very concerned DH who will get tears in his eyes if I cry and who cannot stand to see me stand long hours in the kitchen.

Then there is Thalaivar Rajini who played havoc and kept bringing out DH's split personality.

I was dragged to see both his first and last show of Padiappa.

The parking lot was full and DH was in a lot of tension to get himself before the screen to see his Thalaivar one last time.

With windows down, he was driving behind people who were walking in the parking lot hoping that they will vacate a spot. Bad luck most of them were dropping off their shopping bags in the car and leaving for some more shopping.

In his tension, forgetting that the windows were down, DH shouted "Thalaiva I am coming, please do not start without me" in Tamil.

And an American guy misunderstood and we both got to see how long his fingers were and typing his words could get me banned from this site.

Well Padiappa (P) is gone for good...I was happy ... in a few days, one Friday late afternoon, DH announces that there will be a showing of P again.

I asked "where?"
He said "Of course at our place. I bought the DVD and some of my silly friends don't remember all the scenes. So I HAVE to show them"

I scramble to put up a nice spread on the table for everyone to munch and forgave DH for such short notice.

In joy I anticipated a nice dinner and movie and lots of catching up with my friends and there comes out the "mysterious being" who bans conversations because dialogues will be missed.

This story continued for weeks (I am not kidding when I say that I hosted parties when DH organised 10 viewing of P in 4 months most of them with few hour notices where I had to rush to buy groceries).

Each time it was a new batch of friends with very few overlap in the guest list.

Each time was a missed opportunity to get to know that person.

The sad thing is some did not even know the language and the body language of some of them clearly looked like they were being forced by DH to watch. I never saw or heard from this group ever.

Well some of this is pretty standard behaviour for any "made in India" husband you might say. So what is the need for this thread?

Because he is missing again and there are no in-laws or guests in sight.

Now he has caught the Olympics fever.

The man refuses to talk or even look at my face.

All questions are answered with alternating "yes" and "No" and I have to sequence the Questions accordingly.

He is one of those "die-hard" team India fans who will never stop (day) dreaming about medals and trophies.....no matter how many times they give him da "bulb."

(This time the Olympics fever is shooting up too high as he has decided to root for 3 countries as back up for back up for the usual "bulbs" - birth country, country in which he lived in the past and the one he is in currently)

I decided to do a systematic diagnosis to prescribe the right treatment.

The symptoms of this fever being ....

1. Constantly looking at a print out of schedules

2. Swearing at the TV because the Indian contingent was shown for very few seconds

3. Cursing politicians for playing politics (what else did he expect from them) while choosing athletes.

4. Claiming foul play when his favs don't bag the gold

5. Swearing at the costume designer for the gaudy yellow Sarees. (No yellow in our flag it seams)

6. Telling me that he might apply for Chinese citizenship as they seem to be the best country eligible to have him as a citizen (as if they don't have enough citizens of their own)

7. Constant shaking of fists, hands and head especially after he got news about the mysterious red top lady who sneaked into the Indian contingent

8. Stress eating because Phelps seems to have lost his Midas's touch. Phelps forget your "call of duty" and focus on your "calling" please.

9. Never getting up from the couch for anything (thank God he visits the restroom)

10. Refusing to go to place of worship / shopping / dentist (Why bother when we have combiflam tablets).



When I asked him "who are you and what have you done to my husband?",
he replied.."Yes"

I repeated the question and
he replied "No" :drowning


The prognosis is ...though this appears to be a serious condition, this sickness will leave by itself with visible recovery just a few minutes after the closing ceremony.

And the only treatment that can be provided to keep the patient at ease is to give him company. :cheers

There are cases where wives are mentally / physically / verbally abused.
Then will it be right to say that I am being "entertainmentally abused" or "E-abused?" :hide:

What do you say ladies?

Please add your incidents where your DH became a whole different being...

In case I do not reply on time, please assume that I am busy watching the

Olympics as this fever is highly contagious so says the doctor. :thumbsup

P.S. Dhivi dear, for your sake no "rant" emoticon was added to my post. But no promises in the future

 

Glad that I could save your DH's life dear......But it is ok to injure a few body parts...no problem.....a bandage should fix it.

But dont forget the "burning" tincture to be applied before the bandage.. ;-)

 

I understand your pain.

My dd watches cartoons in the bedroom and Dh is in the living room and I am :spin in the house.

If you see my DH and his laptop, it will be like lovers deeply looking into one anothers eyes forgetting the whole world......he will be reloading the page every second to catch updates about cricket matches. :bonk

May be we should organize a "missing DH" search party with the help of other ILites.

 

:goodidea:.... enjoy...

He is forcing me to order take out because he says that he feels guilty if he watches TV while I cook.

The real reason is he is scared that I would :rant after some time and pull the plug on his fun.