about H and married life.... pls suggest..

I got married seven years ago. It was a love marriage with parents consent. We were living in different cities and met very few times before marriage. After marriage I came to know about so many things he lied about. He never told me anything its slowly one after another i came to know. He lied about his salary. had loan on him, about his financial condition,, About being a drinker and smoker. He told me about smoking and drinking but in a manner that both are just occassionaly in parties or with friends. Had a huge fight over this because i already told him I hate smoking and smokers and he hid this from me. After few days of fight he said sorry and promised he will stop smoking and drinking both. I really believed on his words later to find out that he still smoke and drinks but only takes care that i should not come to know about it.
These and many more were a part of seven years.. i kept on giving him chances over chances and he kept on repeating one thing and another after that........that includes a extra martial affair also... which he still denies but I read the sms in his cell and can never forget that... then too given this guy a chance as he was really sorry for wat all misunderstanding i had...

Now it seems like it was my mistake I should have been more strong and rather than everytime believing on his lies I should have done something about it... He has a habit of lying..... and that too siviour...... so many times i have confronted him....... told him calmly.. tried to talk to him watever is there told me clearly but stop lying....... nothing so far has worked....
In between he has to leave job reason unknown.... but i have a doubt he has been fired or asked to leave because he went to office drunk and had a fight also.... He is very very protective of his cell fone... never let me touch it.... he was sleeping and i got hold on it... there were few sms he sent to his manager and managers replied also... from there i got this doubt... I tried to talk to him but all fruitless..... after few months he got another job left them in 2 months..... this all happened for almost 3 years.... he got and left 4 jobs after a month or two... I have to work take care of our kid take care of each n everything... while at home also He was nothing but a pain in ass..... Morning I used to do everything cooking cleaning.... and evening the house used to be mess.... He just used to sit on computer whole day chatting or playing games.

I did everything I could do to support him to motivate him to get him out of depression to help him to find out new job.... He got a good opportunity in another city.... but due to past exp as he left almost 4 jobs in 3 mnths..... I really dont want to left my job... so we decided tht after a year me and kid will join him.. but as of now we should stay separate and may be it will help us to revive our straining relationship also.... If there was left any

after living apart life is more peaceful... more comfortable... more organised.... I'm kind of loving it.... but ya kid miss him.... but i think the impact he was having from our daily fights.... kid seems more happy and stable now........ but yes he was always good to him....

its been almost a year we are living like this he come once or twice a month....

I was having all his emails and bank accounts pssd which he only gave to me saying he cant save anything I plan better so i should take care of these things...
from past 3 - 4 month he has been behaving susupiciously changed his pssd not been sending anything to me not even a single penny.... we already had so many discussions and so many fights over this....... now its been almost a month we have not spoken to each other neither he has come..... In last chat when i asked him about his salary / job his answer was it is none of my business and he never asked me about my salary or my job....... and when i confronted him about changing the psd he said first you give all your psswds then i will give u mine....... I never asksed for this he himself gave me.... I told him i dont want any of your passwords.... but after marriage and having a kid you have some responsibilites being in another city im not expecting much... but atleast share some financial responsilbilties with me........ He promised but again did nothing... not even sent a single penny this month too....

I'm fed up of everything now.... its almost been four years now i'm taking care of each n every thing alone....... 3 years i couldnt as he was not having job... after having job every month he has some excuse......

Sorry for the v v long post.... can u suggest me.... what should i do or separation is the only wayout???

thanks for reading this... looking forward to some suggestionss

 

thanks Quebec for replying.....

Somewhere I also know I dont have any other option.... I have given him hundred of chances after his apologies everytime... but its always back to square one...

Only thing I really feel bad about my kid.... He really misses him.... But doesnt seem i have any option now....

 

thanks GodIsone,

@ rkk1 I'll keep in mind what you said... thanks

I really wanted this relationship to work. Now seems I've wasted all my years in a false hope, now understood nothing is in my hands... I'm done tried what all I can do.

It wont be a surprise for me if he is involved with someone. I have strong doubts that he is having some affair again. from last 5-6 months whenever he visits he make excuses to go out for 15- 20 mins.. earlier i assumed that might be for smoking as I've never allowed him to smoke in house and a very strict no in kids presence.
But whenever he goes out his fone will be continuously busy and according to him its always call from office PLAIN LIE..

In last few fights I told him if he wont fulful his responsibilites towards me and kid i might have to take a legal course. His reply was do that and i'll leave my job and then you have to pay me mantenance.... total jerk..

I've posted my query regarding custody of kid and rights after separation also... if anybody here can help me pls suggest. And what preventive measures i should take if he really leaves his job....

Thanks

 

Thanks a lot Quebec for your help.

will surely do this... I'm having most of the documents with me... except bank statements.

Can u suggest me something on the below.

I'm not after the maintenance my major concern is the kid. He may try every possible way to take him from me, can stoop to any levels. Once he pretended that he has gone to his school and going to take him away for forever.. that was to scare me. And I really was
He was in his office in another city.. was scaring me....

Can I do something legally so that he cant do such thing.