How Do You Define Empowerment?

satchitananda · Jul 12, 2012

Just yesterday we were talking about status of women then vs now. A few replies made me sit up and think. Just what do we define as empowerment?

"Literacy, qualifications, education, financial empowerment (ability to earn)" are certainly accepted as determinants of empowerment as a whole. The ability to earn should logically have liberated woman from all shackles, but we see that it is not so. On one hand, it does not matter whether she earns or not, her position in society has not undergone much change. On the other if she does not earn and prefers to devote her time to making a home, she is unquestionably at a disadvantage.

Some of the questions raised by some members made me want to have a discussion on this. They ask "Why do some women not work and stay at home? They are qualified, they can get jobs, and if they don't they should not complain of bad treatment". If not in exactly these words, then the implication of what is said is something to this effect.

We have talked a lot about how much empowerment she gets even when she is earning. So instead of flogging a dead horse, let us look at the other side too. I shall state my point of view here and shall look forward to hearing yours as well.

Traditionally women have been looked on as nurturers. They bear children, they nurture them, they bring them up and today they also contribute to their mental and intellectual growth. Men on the other hand have traditionally been looked upon as the bread winners. So in an ideal world, both roles should have been given equal status and respect. But we do not live in an ideal world.

My simple question is: Is it such a compulsion that a woman should go out and earn to deserve respect? That means that all the work she does at home is not worthy of respect in and of itself. Her having children is not worthy of respect. Her keeping a cosy, peaceful home for her husband and children to return to have no intrinsic value. That they have a happy, secure environment to return to at the end of the day counts for nothing.

Not all men and women are made identical vis a vis individual personalities. There are men who work as chefs or as in-charge of house-keeping and administration in hotels or hospitals. Their work is not looked down on. It is said with great pride that this man earns as well can cook and keep a good home. (Of course, I have to admit that unfortunately, unlike some other countries, our society does not look highly on a man who chooses to be a house-husband. So to that extent, men are not liberated either).

So long and short of it is women may work, they may earn or they may do both - they do not enjoy the same status as men who earn or earn as well as help at home (though the latter is not compulsory for them).

To me, true equality and empowerment is to allow both men and women to follow professions/occupations suitable to their individual abilities and preferences (of course as long as there is a basic amount of money flowing in to keep the pot boiling) while giving both equal respect both within as well as outside the home. That is the fundamental level. But as we do not live in an ideal world, there have to be some safety mechanisms in place to ensure equality and empowerment. Laws with teeth, a judicial system where there is prompt dispensation of justice, social support mechanisms (like social security for single parents with children) are all inevitable for a truly equitable situation. It is not whether he goes out and works and she stays at home, or vice versa or whether both kill themselves outside the home as well as within that is of the essence. What is important is that both should be free to define their own roles and to perform that role to perfection.

GeethaMR · Jul 12, 2012

A good one Satchi..

I would like you to read this article:
Orphaned Housewife -

blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Citycitybangbang/entry/the-orphaned-housewife

positivegal · Jul 12, 2012

It doesn't matter whether its a man or women. Basically every Humanbeing deserves respect irrespective of education, status etc.

nandita24 · Jul 12, 2012

A person is "empowered" when he/she can effectively live up to his/her full potential unconditionally without fear, favour or restrictions of any kind.

Invariably, I find, that women themselves are the stumbling blocks to their own empowerment. No one can give empowerment; one just becomes empowered by the sheer act of will and determination.

Nandita

kelly1966 · Jul 12, 2012

satchitananda said: ↑

Traditionally women have been looked on as nurturers. They bear children, they nurture them, they bring them up and today they also contribute to their mental and intellectual growth. Men on the other hand have traditionally been looked upon as the bread winners. So in an ideal world, both roles should have been given equal status and respect. But we do not live in an ideal world.
even in the stone ages the man was the hunter because physiologically he was stronger.. bigger and women being the dainty fragile one would be at home and do the rest of the chores.. maybe as the hunter went out for days sometimes he would return tired and so the ladies would fuss around and let them stretch their legs whilst they cooked the meat and sewed the fur into garments etc after all the men would get them food and protect them from wild animals etc (this is all my imagination)... unfortunately these roles have been degenerated over the ages into oppressor and victim....our DNA and genes yet are speaking the same language.. evolution micraculously hasn't managed to alter this element!!

My simple question is: Is it such a compulsion that a woman should go out and earn to deserve respect? That means that all the work she does at home is not worthy of respect in and of itself. Her having children is not worthy of respect. Her keeping a cosy, peaceful home for her husband and children to return to have no intrinsic value. That they have a happy, secure environment to return to at the end of the day counts for nothing.

Satchi I feel that being a homemaker is the most difficult job.. yes we working moms have a lot to balance but we also have this ME time which homemakers seldom have especially if they are in a joint family set up .. always under scrutiny.. though I strive and manage to keep my house a " a welcoming home" always.. I admire my mom who always was there for us 24 hrs.. which perhaps I sometimes am not for my son due to work..

Not all men and women are made identical vis a vis individual personalities. There are men who work as chefs or as in-charge of house-keeping and administration in hotels or hospitals. Their work is not looked down on. It is said with great pride that this man earns as well can cook and keep a good home. (Of course, I have to admit that unfortunately, unlike some other countries, our society does not look highly on a man who chooses to be a house-husband. So to that extent, men are not liberated either).
this is SO IRONICAL BUT TRUE.. hypocritical society we live in..NORMS NORMS and norms

So long and short of it is women may work, they may earn or they may do both - they do not enjoy the same status as men who earn or earn as well as help at home (though the latter is not compulsory for them).

I think this is what is called empowerment... recently I was asked by someone how do the men at site and work respond to me.. and my plain and simple answer was.. if you know your job.. if you know your work.. if you know your authority yet show humility.. then gender gets thrown out of the window as the opposite party realises that they are dealing with the BOSS.. you and only you can empower people to respect you..

To me, true equality and empowerment is to allow both men and women to follow professions/occupations suitable to their individual abilities and preferences (of course as long as there is a basic amount of money flowing in to keep the pot boiling) while giving both equal respect both within as well as outside the home. That is the fundamental level. But as we do not live in an ideal world, there have to be some safety mechanisms in place to ensure equality and empowerment. Laws with teeth, a judicial system where there is prompt dispensation of justice, social support mechanisms (like social security for single parents with children) are all inevitable for a truly equitable situation. It is not whether he goes out and works and she stays at home, or vice versa or whether both kill themselves outside the home as well as within that is of the essence. What is important is that both should be free to define their own roles and to perform that role to perfection.
Click to expand...

I totally agree with you on this front... MY BH as of now left is high profile job and is teaching free lancing and earning 75% of what he did earlier.. I'm earning more than him first time in my life even though we both are equally qualified.. but he was very unhappy and now he is happy.. i stopped working when my son was 1 yr old took a break for 1.5 yrs.. because I wanted to be with him.. that was my choice..each of us have to do what is correct at that situation.. we have to allow ourselves to empower ourselves and no one else..
K

Vasupradha · Jul 12, 2012

Hi Satchi akka,

Again a thought provoking snippet...We women in most cases ( compared to men ) become the victim of circumstances....We luuvv our kids more than career and if not get the support of in laws, to take care of them, few months after birth, then we opt for home maker...Still many daycares are not upto the mark....But we make ourselves happy, with our decision....And many homemakers, not only dedicate their valuable time, physical help and financial needs but also sacrifice their career like my ma did...Hats off to all such wonderful ma s ....And I wish a change and realisation from everyone....Nice snippet satchi ka.....

Vasu....

kiranavvari · Jul 12, 2012

Satchi,

Though I agree that empowerment is to allow both men and women to follow professions/occupations suitable to their individual abilities and preferences, again it is upto each individual who receives it.

I guess Women were thought weaker section of the community and were looked down always. We also got used to the situation, and I guess most of the times we seek approval to implement our decision unlike men who are happy to take decisions and implement them. Very rare scenarios, I see that women will take all decisions and implement them without waiting for approval.

My H says, when you are happy about to take decision why do you seek my approval to implement it. If you are happy with your decision, then you should also have guts to implement it and face any consequences. Only when you do that, you can call yourself as capable of doing anything. Then it automatically gives you feeling of empowerment. Nobody will give you power, you should generate yourself. I agree to some extent with him on this, as I used to seek his approval for most of the things. But my view was different, because, my decision making involves people around me, so it is important that I take them into confidence before any decision made. But H will not do so, and he feel that I am incapable to make any decisions, and running away from my responsibilities.

As per me, once I can decide what is good for me (or for my family), and if I can confidently implement and face consequences, that itself will give me so much power to move on in life. This is my view of empowerment.

freddycat · Jul 12, 2012

In short, women empowerment is the breaking of personal limitations. It is not necessarily, making money. It could be anything from running the family to venturing into business world.

The empowered women in business world reach the heights because the circumstances/opportunities made it possible for them.

It is NOT only for the highly educated women. We see so many ladies in our daily life as maid, vegetable seller, laundry woman, etc Once they were innocent 'little girls' and eventually, came out of the shell to overcome their financial difficulties.

My grandpa used to say, my mom will skip school if there is no ink in her pen, rather than stopping by the store on her way to school. The same 'little girl' in later years became the confident woman. My mom chose to stay home to raise 4-of us. I am sure, it was the scariest thought to raise 3-girls, regardless of income group. She eventually, empowered herself to run family and maintain our family properties/farm single handily because of my dad's laid back personality.

In my view, any woman if circumstances necessitate will raise up. Even if it is not for her, she will do it for kids and family.

Maggie2009 · Jul 12, 2012

Satchi
whatever one might argue, we cannot ignore the power that comes with having money of one's own. that might not be the only factor though. true empowerment is when a woman can confidently take big decisions of her own without being made to feel even a little guilty or shrew-ish. could be a homemaker deciding on a particular parenting style that she believes in, could be a barely literate villager who decides she will stand up against domestic violence and protect her young, could be a politician who listens to her own head for a change.

anonymou · Jul 12, 2012

Correct Satchi. There is no reason household work should be looked down upon as inferior. I have three points to make though:

1) I do not think it is men who said that ladies stop household work and go out earning, then you shall get respect. It is women who thought so. According to most posters, their MILs are housewives and have lot of respect and control in household - so working or no working are still independent of respect.
2) Women themselves treat homemakers as inferior when they demand alimony for homemaker in case of divorce. Since both of them were contributing equally (one at home, one at office), the divorce would bring exactly equal hardships for both. So neither needs to be compensated for loss.
3) While on an average, women may be nurturers, you shall agree that there can be individual cases where lady is career driven and some guys who are unemployed and won't mind taking care of home if provided food and shelter. Why do ladies not marry such guys. Why staying at home is not a respectful option for men?