guide me

marydiwan · Jun 17, 2012

in the very 1st meeting we both selected each other and we got married in a month . it was an arrange marriage.

we lived in a joint family .

we have a nice time for a week. then my all BIL and his wife ask me for dowary .
they force my HB(husband) to neglect me, to talk in a abusive manner with me and my parents, and also to harress me ,beat me, tortured me physically and mentally both .

hence my husband apply domestic violence and he stop to give me any type of cooperation not only that he did not even give me single panny.

bil and his wife quarreled with me often and on with out any type of reason.

they try to find out errors and faults from my task , household works & my behavior and way of talking.

they have seized my passport,viza and mobile.

they forced me to go back to india. when i refused they called for police & try to me afraid a lot .
there was no honeymoon, no celebration on birthday , marriage anniversary or any festival .

though i have performed all my house hold duties nicely ..i was harassed a lot..i loved my husband a lot..

same was in case of my husband .
but there is to much interference and politics of bil and his wife. they have brainwashed of my husband.

other members of family also supported them both..

so i have to suffer separation and pain .i have hardly passed 5months with my husband.

at present i am at my parents house since 5 months.

please guide me what to do?

jollydoll · Jun 17, 2012

hi MaryDiwan ... Sorry you are in a very pathetic situation.. solution for this is patiently talking to your husband and make him to understand your situation if he really loves you he will really understand you and will never leave you alone.
first take measures to talk to him in a private where his family members will not be there. talk to him and solve the problem by yourself. surely he will understand you . don't worry . everything will be alright

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positivegal · Jun 18, 2012

Until your husband come to sense and understands you, no one will be able to help your situ. Try to have heart to heart talk with him.

MODS: Please edit the names of SIL, BIL from maridiwan post for anymore problems

tashidelek2002 · Jun 18, 2012

Jollydoll: ARE YOU KIDDING?????

OP: Call a lawyer and the police and press charges for dowry harrassment, then divorce the jerk and get a new good husband.

sokanasanah · Jun 18, 2012

marydiwan said: ↑

my husband apply domestic violence. i loved my husband a lot .
Click to expand...

Where does this love for an abusive husband come from?

..they have brainwashed of my husband.
Click to expand...

If this is true, then your husband does not have a mind of his own, is very easily manipulated and does not care for you - at least not enough to protect you. He not only failed to shield you from harassment, he is an active participant. Wake up to his true nature!

harress me ,beat me, tortured me physically and mentally both .they have seized my passport,viza and mobile. they forced me to go back to india. when i refused they called for police & try to me afraid a lot .
please guide me what to do?
Click to expand...

This is extremely serious!!! Since you were able to go back to India, I assume you got your passport back. Yet, these are criminal acts, a form of imprisonment. Find a lawyer as soon as possible. I don't think you can build a successful marriage within this family. I am very sorry to hear your story. I am concerned for your safety!

satchitananda · Jun 18, 2012

I am not clear about many things Mary.

Were you living in Singapore when all this happened? Since you mention a joint family, I assume that your ILs were also staying with you there. If they snatched your passport, how did you get back to India? And if you were in Singapore and your ILs here in India, how could they harass you long distance and snatch your passport - apart from which, how was it a joint family?

Could you please clarify these points here? If you are in India and you have really been beaten and tortured, why do you not file a case against them?