What is self respect?

sabarimathi · May 2, 2012

If nothing works, try this one too - offence is the best form of defence. Ask her if she has any assts to transfer it to her son's name so that he feels good. Put it in such a way that it appears to show y'r empathy to y'r dh. Keep on talking about this both in y'r dh's presence and absence to both mil and dh. If she has nothing tell her to do something physically like cooking , [ but u sh'd only serve ], keeping the house neat , so on and so forth. Tell her this is only to reap good karma and of course punniyam. Keep cool while doing this and do ask ab't the sweets in her absence to y'r dh.

Have u heard of this fable - lion and the tiny mouse ? what happened to the giant, proud, arrogant lion? Pride has its own fall ; hasten it by following the path of a mouse.

good luck & God be with u.

sandhyas123 · May 3, 2012

Radhai said: ↑

Sandhya,

Feel sorry for you. I did not go through the whole thread/your profile
to understand the complete dynamics of your situation.
But I understand that you want to deal with it tactfully.

Here is my suggestion to hold onto your patience:
Fix a short term goal for you. It could be anything like teaching your kid, learning a skill yourself,
or even cleaning the house. Work on it with full focus. Like a horse with padded eyes, like
Arjuna aiming for his target, just keep your destination in mind and give a deaf ear and
numb skin to the insane members around you.
Learn to treat this phase as a drama on stage and try to see yourself as an audience than
the victim or an actor.
Click to expand...

Hi Radhai,
thanks for your response. Yes now I am concentrating on my kid, have a goal of taking a certification on my line of education. but I am easily getting frustrated due to hard work(no options) still getting lot of hatred from my H and mil.

sandhyas123 · May 3, 2012

sabarimathi said: ↑

If nothing works, try this one too - offence is the best form of defence. Ask her if she has any assts to transfer it to her son's name so that he feels good. Put it in such a way that it appears to show y'r empathy to y'r dh. Keep on talking about this both in y'r dh's presence and absence to both mil and dh. If she has nothing tell her to do something physically like cooking , [ but u sh'd only serve ], keeping the house neat , so on and so forth. Tell her this is only to reap good karma and of course punniyam. Keep cool while doing this and do ask ab't the sweets in her absence to y'r dh.

Have u heard of this fable - lion and the tiny mouse ? what happened to the giant, proud, arrogant lion? Pride has its own fall ; hasten it by following the path of a mouse.

good luck & God be with u.
Click to expand...

Hi friend,
thanks for your response. My FIl had lot of loans and only my H and his bro paid it and still paying and my inlaws had a land which with the consent of both sons sold and gave money to their 2 daughters so my H is expecting a lot from my side(brain washed by my inlaws only a girl should bring property). My mil will not lift a spoon when she is here she will not learn to handle stove or micro wave even if teach in case of emergency. she will be normal and good when she is alone with me but when my H came from office she will act weak due to dizziness, act depressed and sad. so daily my H is asking me what I gave lunch, breakfast, tea, snack etc. Now she is competing with my kid for attention from my H which is making me laugh.

sandhyas123 · May 3, 2012

Life is not far on Indian girls, this is not only for me I went through lot of posts here and I get this feeling that life is very partial for us compare to Indian men. May be I am really depressed and frustrated. Any way as poster here suggested I am thinking my mil as a old lady came as a guest to my house and trying maintain a good relationship. Thanks.