Do i have hope here?

I cannot adivcie you in regards with your marital issues. But read on pls. Somethign in your post caught my attention big itme. You getitng suicidal thoughts and have tried 3 times. No, now it could just have been trials...someday trials may beocme all reals. It has happened time and again in number of cases. Please please Talk to somebody. Anybody. To your siblings.

Once we bring kids into this world - Our life is no more our's to take away. You might now think yeah its not good i should be strong, but you may not have control overyouself like you have now during the heat of the argument. Prevention is better than cure. Please do something - like english peopal say - talk to your doc ...i would say talk to your family - let them or osmebody know you are depressed...it woul dbe a shame if no body identifies it. Promise you will do something about it. Take productive measure - if you have to dump anybody - do it ....but pls. i cannot stress the imprtance of this enough.
I know...i may be making a mountian out of this little mole i..e., out of your single line - this may not be what you expected in resposne - but please think about it.

I will tell you a case - where a working mom jumped out of the movieng vehicle while her kids were in the vehicle and husb was driving. I know that depressing. Imagine the kids reaciton. Poor Lady, she would not have wanted to do it, cant imagine how much she suffered to draw the guts to do this. thing called Divorce exixsts for a reason. If it comes to ending the life - i would rather Divorce than take my life. Please.

after kids its not my life anymore - if i think of suicide - that means am taking my kids life. that should bring me back to senses and do somethign about it.
Please talk to your siblings, let them know what youa re goign through. Go home.

 

any kind og problme no matter the magnitued of it ...is not worth anybody's life. A problme is calle da problme bcuz there is a sol'n to it. for some it takes itme to find it...some find it easily. think of it as a treasure hunt. fight it. Bestest Wishes from my side dear frend.

You may mean the World to somebody out there.....dont ever hurt them by hurting yourself.

 

I guess your H has got superiority complex and he wants to be treated like a king always.

Do you think he has any EMA because of which he is criticizing you as a bad wife?

If not, then just ignore him.Take care of yourself and your baby and just ignore that such a person exists in your household.

Do not cry or get emotional for what he says.Just listen and then proceed with your work.Take your kid out,play with him and go to your parent's place taking a vacation and do not involve him in anything.Be happy.

Once he gets to know that you are becoming immune to him he will definitely come to you.

 

Your hubby thinks too much of himself.I like Naksh's reply.Please do not think of suicide another time.You have a kid now and think about your kid.It is better to go for divorce rather than commit suicide.

Show this guy that you are not a doormat.Become independent and start performing your chores without expecting anything from him.If he tries to shout unnecessarily just give him a cold stare and move on.The stare should tell him that he is cheap and does not deserve a response from you.If you do not have a job, try to get one as soon as possible.

 

Though you may not like few of my words...but had to think from another angle here....

The point you wanted to convey to him though was right...but conveyed in a wrong way!!!! he being upset with your mom...is OK!!! happens....but you should have said..there is a place n timefor everything....and hospital and the time of baby birth is not the place for him to get all workedup and angry n upset over his MIL!!! thats not hte place nor the time!!!

instead of saying the above, you were trying to ask and convey why he was upset over your mom, she is a nice person etc..etc..she cam eto help etc..etc...he wont understand all that!!! (if he was that understanding things wont boil down to this level)

However on other side....birth of a baby is very tense situation for many men....some who are kind of not so into responsibility....I have seen men who feel stressful just to go to work and come back home!!! i.e just earning....(I wonder how women work, manage kids at home, inlaws, relatives, friends, chores, cooking and what not)....so may be your husband is one of those types who cant take stress....and may be unnecessarily he blurted out the upset feelings...just like what you said uusally he is just too quick on his words...but never apologizes...same thing may have happened towards your mom! you have to explain it to your mom that its your hsubands nature..and not to pay attention to it.

finally all are family...things like these happen..why fret over iot and make issues bigger n bigger to an extent of separation / suicide.


Also as NAKSH said, you have a kid and you attempt suicide??? really!! now you have to think who is irresponsible here...you or your husband??

Agreed times are rough n tough...but the way you are handling it is with full of emotions and anger. he wont see your point as you are so emotional about the entire thing (which is right..but for him its wrong!!)


coming to what you can do...first recover from delivery..this past hurt...take care of yoruself well..groom yourself eat well...take care of your baby. dont ignore yourself or your baby doesnt matter how others treat you...your baby deserves love n affection and is precious. Tell your husband either he has to come to counselling or STOP this bashing or illtreatment. give him silent treatment for sometime and see how it works. totally ignoring him and his needs. if he gets aggressive convey your point. time to make it right and be at it. dont give up on life or marriag ejust for some silly reasons like he doenst get along with my mom . Coming to his anger, if he was like that since childhood its hard to change him....make peace with somethings that you cant change. and stop feeling bad over his blurt out of words. brush it off thinking its him...and his attitude n habit. cant change. try not to get into his way too much...dont go out of hte way to please him....because when youd o that you automatically pin up hopes that he will respond...if hedoesnt again you feel sad. so first get your act together before you tackle him and this issue in marriage.

 

Libra, my virtual hugs to you for dealing with a short tempered person as a life partner.
I have a close acquaintance who has similar story as you mentioned.....

His wife is like Basanti... will continue speaking endlessly.. its not that she lacks a real mental balance but yes at time she continues to speak about herself and her needs and her likes and dislikes can turn v v kiddish.. even when the situations are not favourable.. she's a doc and when you interact with her you'll feel v v mature with head on her shoulder..... However when you live with her... you come to know that there are some women who take their head off the shoulder like a helmet.. having different face in public and home......... there are small small statements being issued... that reflect that she thinks too highly of herself, is the most important creature on this earth, comparisons, jealousy, underestimates others (mostly associated to a lot of ladies) and her husband passes those derogatory statements / agression in retaliation (again mostly asssociated to a lot of men reacting to a typical lady).

She complains alike but fails to associate any of her behaviour/ nagging associated to her husband's outburst.. given that he's no human by reacting in a more devilish manner.

Don't worry a lot of couples with young children go thru the same.. again a phase which teaches you a lot of patience and controlling yourself and to deal with different kind of ppl and complex behaviour. When we're in stress in marriage we end up biting each other at first available opportunity... starting with say the parents/ inlaws issues and then reaching down to each other or the reverse.

 

If there is so much of mental and verbal torture, can you just move out of his range,..like going out to a garden or taking refuge in your bedroom, loo or whaetever,,, so much of negativity is bound to creae issues for your health and ultimately affaect the baby as well....

You say you have been paying bills for 2 years..why is it so? what is your H's contribution to the household expenses? or is he atleast making the savings, investments etc?

These to me are warning signs...

If a divorce is not yet an option, you may want to consider a temporary separation ?

You say your baby's passport is not yet done? can you initiate the same with the Embassy? Even if you decide to leave, do NOT at any point of time give any indication to him. Maybe you can think of an excuse like child has to be taken to native for head tonsuring, or for his first rice eating ceremony or something like that. Try to think of an event that is of significance to his fmaily so that he doesnt see anything amiss

There ia another thread going on about a lady wanting to leave USA from a bad marriage and quite a few pratical suggestions given there

One good thing is you are earning and hence you are not really dependent on H for money....