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I am 26 yrs old and got married 2 months back. I was in a relationship with a girl for 2 years. We lived together abroad as long as we were studying and it was perfect to me. Then the course finished and we had to return back to India (living in neighbouring cities thereon). We both got to working and soon my family found a match for me. Then started the emotional drama and all the pressurizing. My family was just not ready to take NO for an answer. I kept trying to avoid it. But i was pressured into getting engaged....to leave my job... to be married a year later. I still kept trying to break it off but my family just didnt care. For them the guy is a hero! They are totally in love with him. I felt so miserable. My girlfriend was devastated as well.
The guy eventually understood that i didnt want to get married but he said he couldn't break it off either since the families are involved blah blah....I am married now, moved to a different country to live with my husband and I am still in love with my girl. She loves me too. I feel so depressed in this marriage. I've even told my husband that i am not happy at all about this marriage and i feel disgusted if he ever tries to come close to me. I keep thinking about leaving him and getting a good job as i am professionally qualified and live with my girlfriend. The friends who know about me and my girl keep saying that I should give this marriage a try and if still I am not happy then I can ofcourse walk out. Walking out is going to be another war with the families! I feel so miserable and can't focus on anything. The only thing which makes me feel better is my girlfriend and we just love each other so much. I don't feel attracted to my husband at all. He is a nice understanding guy but I can't come out to him and tell him the truth else he'll ofcourse use it against me. I dont know what to do! I'll die like this. :(