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How to live happily with an unloving spouse?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by unhappywife, Dec 15, 2011.

  1. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Unhappywife

    I am also in similar situation. I think you should find new job in big company where you can interact with lot of people. Socialising, interacting everday is really big mental need for us in America. I am also holding job in small company where I don't get any interaction with my collegues. I have my own office (cabin) so no interaction with anybody. I also get bored working in 4 walls everyday but this is close to my house and I can give more time to kids so I am doing compramise. GL
     
  2. psych

    psych Gold IL'ite

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    your husband is sweet!!

     
  3. jmsd

    jmsd Silver IL'ite

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    dear Unhappywife

    I sail in the same boat as you.
    In fact I can relate very closely to you as i have been married for same duration as you and have two kids.
    I am slim ,presentable and do not at all look like a mother of two kids.
    My husband is also not very close to his parents and siblings.
    He is as inexpressive and uncommunicative as you have described your husband to be.
    He does not display any affection in public.Mostly it is limited to the bedroom.
    He does not inquire about my health when I am sick.
    If I'll twist my foot while walking with him,he'll not care .

    But there are a few differences

    Your husband helps you with kitchen work and kids.
    I have absolutely no support from him.
    No comments no compliments.

    But still I am not Unhappy.
    Yes I feel disappointed and crave for his affection and companionship.
    I have a job and hardly have two minutes for myself in the entire day,but I miss him all the time.
    I feel tears at the corners of my eyes many times in a day,but still I am not unhappy.
    I feel happy for all the love that I have got from him,and for the love that he has in his heart for me.
    I just daydream of being with him.
    I enjoy my love for him like a one sided lover would do.
    I do not know what does he think about me,but I know how high do I think of him.
    Rather it would not matter to me if one day he falls out of love with me,for me the fact that I am hopelessly in love with him is enough.
     
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  4. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    jmsd ?????

    when you have shared this much wont you tell us also what he has done for you to feel this way?
     
  5. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    How about his father's behaviour, I hope he want to be as a stright father to kids and show as perfect man.

    He dosn't know how to share the love with you infront of Kids and how to share love with Kids. He has love and affection.

    Otherwise he may have some other affection sorry to say just monitor his mobile message or something else, because current world we have to think like this also, pl. don't mistake me hope you can understand.

    nothing can be changed without any impact.
     
  6. unhappywife

    unhappywife Silver IL'ite

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    @all ILS, thank you very much for taking time to reply to my posts.. I am not there any more. Meaning, I am no more yearning for his companionship or appreciation or approval or upset for his actions/reactions. Gone are my H4, dependant days. I am in a Full Time job now. I have learnt to drive, I have money to buy whatever I want for me or my kids, and I am able to make decisions.. Things have changed a lot.. Over these months, he has changed a lot.. He yearns to talk to me, but i remain silent most of the times with a book in my hand.. Although, he still doesn't appreciate, he offers to cook when I am tired.. In simple words, I am happy irrespective of how he acts/reacts.. Thank you all..
     
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  7. pm86

    pm86 Silver IL'ite

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    :hatsoff..........................
     
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  8. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Good to see an old member coming back with a nice update.

    Felt happy to hear the above information from you. Life keeps changing. People keep changing. Soon, your man may become one, who displays emotions of love and affection constantly........to you. Good Luck..!
     
  9. peeks

    peeks Gold IL'ite

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    Good for you sticking it out and making a better life for your self. Looks like you are in the 'driving seat' now, Wishing you lots of luck in your road to success and happiness.
     
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  10. sacredbell

    sacredbell Silver IL'ite

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    My father is exactly like your husband...My mother always complaints about it....I see how difficult it is, being a partner..

    How much age difference you have with your husband?..One reason could be, he doesn't see you in his wavelength...

    Instead of waiting and wasting time for him, better expand your friends network.. Find out your old friends around and establish regular contact with them.. Expand your network with relatives too...especially cousins at your age..Go out with them too...
     

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