Arranged marriages or Live in relationships

i dont see anything wrong in live-ins. if you are fine with it, then why not? just that it should be a committed relationship. some ppl have a thing against marriage, they do not want to be tied down, but stilll want to be together. for them it works just fine. why judge if its right or wrong morally at all?

20 yrs down the line, the concept of arranged marriages will be obsolete. 'marriage' as an institution will still hold its own though. but arranged marriages?? no, i dont think so.

 

I think, mariages will be a rarity, a great event in the future.

 

I think so too. Its already absolutely normal in Europe to be an unwed mother, is ok in US and sooner or later will catch up in Asia. While divorce rate fluctuates from 70's to now, marriage rate has been only one trend......downward......World is at historic low of marriage rate and I see no reason why this would reverse.

 

Rather than generalizing it as how it will be in "India", I guess the focus should be on how we raise our children.

I strongly believe in the sanctity of marriage and I know 'pre-marital sex' and 'live-in relationships' are not God's plan for us. To the best of my ability I will pass on these values to my children. I guess 20 years down the road the pressure to conform to popular opinion will be as strong as it is even now...my hope is that my children will be firmly rooted and strong enough to take a stand against it, however 'unpopular' it may be in the eyes of others

Am really not too worried about 'marriage' disappearing off the face of the earth..who knows, maybe 20 years down the road people will be so fed up with immorality, divorce, infidelity, and self-gratification, that they may begin to embrace the "married for life" idea even more!

 

Dear Sweety,

Every "tradition", "custom", "value" has come into existence at some point of time for a purpose. Some values are immutable - for instance, don't kill, don't steal, don't hurt others - these are universal values which cannot be negotiated or changed at any point of time. Nothing can make these actions right.

Marriage as an institution was created with the purpose of protecting the then weaker sections of society viz. women and children. Arranged marriages were the norm because women did not go out of the house and did not have any exposure to people behind their own family circles. Besides, financial interests dictated the custom of co-sanguinous marriages. Good or bad, that was the situation then.

Today the situation has changed. Women are independent and might choose to be single. They might decide not want to have kids and for some women (I am not talking of those women who marry for love) may decide they do not want to get married at all. I would not be surprised seeing how women are moving forward economically and personally, but how the attitude to them after marriage (vis a vis relationship with in-laws) has not changed much. In fact I am shocked at some of the stories one hears and reads - it seems like we are regressing rather than progressing.

As for live-in relationships, well, all I can say is those who want to stay committed to one person need to have a lot of attachment, love and tolerance for the other person. It is that which constitutes the basis of a marital relationship, not the legal bit of paper or the ritualistic act of taking vows in front of the fire. A person in a "legal marriage" may or may not have these qualities, just as one in a live in relationship may or may not. It is ultimately the persons who make up the relationship not the piece of paper. The sanctity of the relationship is in the love they feel for each other, not in the rituals. If the individuals concerned are not committed, they will get divorced even if they are "legally" married to each other. It is only that - a legality. I don't think a break up in a live in relationship is any easier emotionally than a divorce. Besides, a live in relationship does not have to mean multiple partners or jumping from one relationship to another. One can live an equally committed life devoted to each other within this sort of relationship too.

These are more of social arrangements which change with time and we have to be prepared to face whatever changes take place in future. I am sure our grandparents find it equally difficult to bear witness to the change in social structure that has taken place in the past few decades.

 

I dont know about future and dont want to predict... But if u take for instance.. the fashion industry.. All the old style are becoming as a new trend for youngster.. Likewise who knows they may opt for arranged marriage thinking as a new trend after years.. Anyways.. Its all depend on how we follow those culture and pass it on to our kids. Each and every culture or customs has its own reason and meaning and we must make sure to explain our kids the same.

At present, yes there are less value. Today's generation they name it as modernization but they actually fail to understand it. And being in any country, India or US, it depends on us what culture to take and what not? Even in US and Europe there so many people who do follow customs, values and respect emotions. Important fact is what u want to take out of it.

As you sow so shall you reap..

 

i happened to meet a brazilian lady who will be getting married soon. She was trying to share her little knowledge bt our country. In her village they teach their kids bt indian culture and their tradition it seems.. She did even mentioned the concept of arranged marriage and the customs, rituals we do. This simply shows we are trying to teach the wrong part of western culture whereas they are taking good part of our culture. So indirectly it is our responsibility to teach our kids the same.

 

It depends on your perception of a relationship. If you feel that marriage is a stamp of approval to live together then it is wrong. I've seen many married couples who silently suffer and have to put up with each other just to make things work. The so-called live-in relationships are nothing but a trial room for couples. It's a convenient way to understand each other, do everything that you have to, without having to keep any commitments. It's more like friends-with-fringe-benefits.

The real deal is marriage; we did not have a choice of parents or siblings yet we learnt to adjust and compromise despite each other's flaws...why can't the same logic apply for an arranged marriage...

I married the most wonderful woman through an arrangement and never regretted one bit.