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  1. #21
    zipzipzoomzoom's Avatar
    zipzipzoomzoom is offline Silver ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    Ladies!


    I said I will adjust my advice accordingly and take everything at what the OP says. Wow, I really ticked you off. My apologies.....


  2. #22
    shalini2108's Avatar
    shalini2108 is offline New ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    It is the same case with me. Jus a married life of 10 months,my hubby is always glued to FB(addicted), twitter, sports channel.(All kinds of sports)
    If i say to him "Dear can we go out"
    Reply : "Sure"
    The venue i have to decide. Everything would be like my own decision, interest.I would have to plan the whole schedule of going out.
    What ever i need he would buy it, get it for me.
    Ours is also LOVE Marriage.
    Right now ,He has love for me but he is not EXPRESSING it.
    Even i go to work, come home @ 8, do house hold work.
    I would need some person to talk to(Companionship)

    I have tried my best to get interested in sports like cricket world cup , tennis barcelona matches,Currently, IPL.So that in way, i could spend time with him.
    I Do have interest in cricket.
    Watching a sport is fine.
    But getting completely glued to TV, FB,Twitter is jus a ****(Sorry)
    I have no entertainment at all..

    When ever i ask him why u re not spending enough time with me,we too end up in fights. He says, "what u meant by time spending?"
    We had plenty of open talks , he does feel for that moment, again he repeats the same.SPORTS channel, FB addicted, Twitter.

    When we go to hotel or eat together at home, he would look at his mobile and i would be eating silently.

    Even if i watch Tv, i would watch it all alone. when he is not.
    The thing is he has one Aim in his life, to start a business.
    Although he watch tv, look into FB,twitter, he does think of business all the time.He has said openly he got addicted to FB.

    There is no emotional feeling for me.no companionship for me.
    My thought is when he can watch Tv ,FB twitter why cant he spend time with me, take me out once a while.

    Infact, he does not even talk to his parents.Its me who ask him to go to his parents and speak for a while.

    Why do men change after marriage.
    I accept Men become focused on their career life.They feel they are responsible person for a family.but they should also spend some time with family members.


  3. #23
    Hubbysdarling is offline New ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    Quote Originally Posted by mankan View Post
    hi dear hd, your problem is exactly same like mine,in my case we dont sleep together even. i too need some good suggestions from our friends. i hope u wont mind as using ur thread for me too.
    No,I wont mind at all.Hope for the best.


  4. #24
    Hubbysdarling is offline New ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothergirl View Post
    This issue is very close to home for me and someone I care about deeply
    is going through exactly this . Its not easy to be where u are . But I do
    hope for your sake that things get better.
    If I were you I would take a two pronged approach.
    1. Widen your horizons
    2. Dont wait for him to change...God knows u have waited long enough. Make the change happen.
    Let me explain
    1. You are stay at home mom. Its hard raising two kids all by yourself and somewhere along the way u have forgotten urself .Honey u are a woman too..not just a mom or a wife.
    Try to nuture that little girl in u. If there are hobbies or things that interested u once..say painting or cooking or teaching anything at all..try to take it up. Not as a chore but as a way to be creative. I know u are thinking..I barely have time ..but trust me ...Doing something u enjoy
    just for urself even if it takes the last ounce of will power is what u need . I want u to be selfish for atleast an hour a day.Not for kids... not for spouse just for you. Do what u like even if its nothing but painting ur toenails..do it like u did when u were 8 or 18. Without feelings of guilt.Try to make friends.Set a specific time once a week or a fortnight when u will go out with ur friends. Let ur Dh take care of the kids. Dont ask him ..tell him. He needs to learn to be father..not just a provider. IF u are always going to be around him he wont learn.
    2. Change the routine at home. The biggest problem I see in ur routine is there is no time when the kids and parents interact as a family. Change that .NOW...before its too late. Kids grow up very fast and before u know it they are out of the house. Nothing is sadder than a child who never knew his dad growing up. Set time each week day when u will all be together even if it is for 20 min to start with . Talk to him....since u are not asking for urself..hopefully it wont escalate into a fight. Tell him the babies miss him.Pick a time. It could be anything...breakfast, dinner ..a bed time story or playing a small game like scrabble in the night as a family . Key thing being all tv radio ipod ipad mobile turned off .Make him stick to the routine.
    Weekend ....Try to plan an activity atleast one of the days. Say a hike or a long walk or teaching the kids soccer..anything at all . Dont give him a choice. Plan and let the kids do the marketing for u by pulling puppy faces :) When he is on his laptop. Just go and cuddle up next to him.Dont say a word. Just sit next to him and do ur painting or knitting or browsin. Over time he will come to expect that and will actually look forward to ur silent company.
    I wish u all the best and I hope things work out for u.
    Thanks,JAG.....U r a darling .I love ur advice,lets see how things workout,
    will give u all my feed back after a while.


  5. #25
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    RajshreeAkku is offline Junior ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    Hey HD,

    As ur name says, U are a Hubbys darling!!! Keep it in ur mind!!! OK?

    JAG has given very good suggestions, plz follow them u will surely find some change in u. U dont need any other person to be happy. Just try to make urself happy. Let him see u happy without him being in company, he will SURELY come along and be with u (out of the fear of u leaving him as he is ) as u r trying to make him change, he will NO Tchange (all hubbys are like this- if we say to change, they WONT, at ANY COST) so leave him like that and ENJOY (atleast PRETEND that u r enjoying)..

    Few examples:

    -When he is glued to laptop, u go to kids room and play games with them. Laugh loudly as if u all r enjoying very much.. Just dont bother abt him...

    - Plan some outing in the evening with kids. Finish off all the work soon. When he comes home, ask him if he would like to join u. If he doesn't want to join, dont ask second time. Just say that u and kids are going out (may be to a park, to temple, or a small walk) and let him stay at home alone.

    - And as JAG stated do the things u like (like u used to do when u were a kid). Dont consider who feels what, abt ur kids, ur hubby, etc.

    - PRETED being sick (extremely sick) and u cant go to doctor also... (just a DRAMA) and see how he will make time for u... U dont even call him. Make ur neighbour or one of ur kid call himand tell that u r not well and cant go to doctor alone,, make some drama ur getting me right??

    He will surely realise something and if u follow the first 2 suggestions, he will think that he is surely missing something in life and will come back to you.

    AL THE BEST!!!

    Luv
    Kruthika
    "All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, dont worry, they can't last long either."

  6. #26
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    sadwife is offline Gold ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    Quote Originally Posted by RajshreeAkku View Post
    - PRETED being sick (extremely sick) and u cant go to doctor also... (just a DRAMA) and see how he will make time for u... U dont even call him. Make ur neighbour or one of ur kid call himand tell that u r not well and cant go to doctor alone,, make some drama ur getting me right??
    I always wonder how if he comes back and wants to take her to the doc?

    COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

    sadwife is a HAPPYWIFE now!!

  7. #27
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    mithy232 is offline Gold ILite
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    Default Re: Husband not giving enough time....

    PRETED being sick (extremely sick) and u cant go to doctor also... (just a DRAMA) and see how he will make time for u... U dont even call him. Make ur neighbour or one of ur kid call himand tell that u r not well and cant go to doctor alone,, make some drama ur getting me right??
    No No. Be true to yourself.
    And do not involve others in the drama esp Kids.

    To silence another, first be silent yourself.

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