plz advice

Youch. The both of you would benefit greatly from marriage counseling. You're in the US, so finding a licensed therapist shouldn't be hard: just ask your doctor to refer you. Your husband sounds like he has anger management issues, but until he realizes that, he won't get help. Marriage counseling may be able to help you build a respectful, loving relationship, but know that it may not be possible. Then you'll have to ask yourself if this is the way to spend the rest of your life, always giving in to emotional blackmail. So set up a session with a therapist: if he won't go with you, go on your own. You'll gain some much-needed perspective, and tools to help you through this situation.

 

Hi Peaceful,

I understand your situation my dear. Even I have seen the same behavior of guys in many families. Especially in those families which are married for just for few years like one, two or three. I don’t know what is the real intention behind, whether they really want it so that they can find someone else and spoit her life too or they just want to threaten their wives.

I don’t understand whether guys know exactly why they are married and what is the oath they take while marrying. they are supposed to take care of their wives untill their death, infact girl is the one who comes with him leaving all her dearones.

But they are not ready to do that. somehow after marriage they feel that we are burden for them and obstacle in their life. just to take that frustration out they will start emotional blackmail to their wives and to make them as slaves. so that wives should just follow their orders, do not have any right to ask any question to them and should blindly accept whatever they do and more upon that they know very well their wives are not going to divorce them. This is just to threaten them.

And again, guys will not have limits dear, they can say whatever they want, they can abuse wives and even their parents but wives should keep quiet and they have to just tolerate that’s what we are all doing. hoping one fine day he will change. I am sure that great day will never come but still a hope :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" oreferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><vath o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"></vath><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype>

My suggestion for you is just be yourself and give some space for him also.
Don’t think too much for what he does, where he goes, whom he meets, all those silly things (i feel) because that will drive us crazy. Don’t interfere too much in your husband and inlaws/relatives relations, it is of no use. Be good to them as how they are with you(just a show off). Because I feel most of the husband and wife fights are not for themselves it is for/because of others. just observe whenever you again fight with him that will mostly because of others. So don’t crack your head for all those things. Just learn to enjoy your life with his money :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh.

Try to find peace within yourself, dont search for it, you will never find it.

I really cannot give you any solution dear other than a consoling mail.

 

Don't worry he will not D you and he knows you will not D him and for sure he knows HE won't D you.

When these guys simply throw out the D word whenever they like, I wish we ladies could do something to make them realize where do they stand. We should just make them know their flaws and say we had enough with them and happily leaving and will wait for the D papers. :rant Sorry I am just venting, don't follow my advice.

 

i like your candid statement. :thumbsup

 

satchi, it was not candid though. :hide:

 

There you go peace.. :thumbsup