Close [X]
LOG IN
Close [X]
PLEASE LOG IN OR REGISTER

Sorry, you need to be a registered member and logged in to access this page.
Please login or register below.

REGISTER

It's easy, quick and FREE!



  1. #1
    iswaryadevi's Avatar
    iswaryadevi is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    YYY
    Country
    India
    Posts
    3,766
    Blog Entries
    36

    Smile How to handle (always) teasing hubby?

    Dear all,

    Those who know me may wonder what this is about. So lemme make it clear. This is about my close friend who keeps complaining about her hubby. Well, I wonder if this is really a problem. She has been married for a year, no kids. Her problem(??) is her hubby keeps teasing her all the time related to other women. For ex: when she calls him, suddenly her hubby would say that there is a good looking lady passing by and that he wishes he could chat with her. Sometimes when she talks romantically, he would just snub her saying how nice it would have been if he married some other woman, etc. Hope you get the point. Even if she does not react and just ignore, her hubby will make sure that she reacts and then will console and cajole her.

    She says she likes the last phase (cajoling), but gets irritated at the teasing phase. She says it is OK, if her hubby does it once in a while. But this happens always, every other day. She also tried explaining to her hubby how hurt she gets when he talks like that always. But he replies that he likes to tease her and then console her. Sometimes he says he wont repeat it again, but cant keep his word for even an hour. He says he cant help it. So I gave this idea to do the same to him. She said she tried that too, but there was no reaction to that. Her hubby just ignored it.

    Now, my friend has a great married life, no real problems in life, but keeps complaining about this habit and gets hurt. Please tell me friends, is this really a problem? Or is my friend over-reacting? Any idea how to handle her hubby? Expert advise needed
    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">

    Last edited by iswaryadevi; 10th November 2010 at 10:41 AM. Reason: Change of title
    IL Book Club - February 2014 - 'It Had to Be You'

    Do read my thriller stories, one of which was the 'Finest Post Winner" for the month of Jan'11..!!!

    Final Adieu
    Lost Wisdom

  2. #2
    sridevi101's Avatar
    sridevi101 is offline Junior ILite
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    City
    Chennai
    State
    Tamil Nadu
    Country
    India
    Posts
    190

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    yes this is a prob.. why he cnt change a little for her? why he is getting entertained in hurting her feelings? this has to be changed.
    women do sacrifice a lot buy men cannot just change so easily. it will take years for them to change. i believe..


  3. #3
    SriVidya75's Avatar
    SriVidya75 is offline IL Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2009
    City
    My City
    State
    My State
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    7,318

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    might be ask her to try his trick on him....and see how he retaliates and give him his own medicine.


  4. #4
    ajain35 is offline Junior ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    City
    delhi
    State
    delhi
    Country
    India
    Posts
    204

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Quote Originally Posted by iswaryadevi View Post
    when she calls him, suddenly her hubby would say that there is a good looking lady passing by and that he wishes he could chat with her. Sometimes when she talks romantically, he would just snub her saying how nice it would have been if he married some other woman, etc. Hope you get the point. Even if she does not react and just ignore, her hubby will make sure that she reacts and then will console and cajole her.
    Someone I know really well does the same. Actually the thing is it makes husband happy to see that wife is still jealous about him. It gives him confidence that he is still wanted and his wife still loves him. If she wants the teasing part to stop so will the cajoling part.

    Coming to how to stop.... she should not get annoyed but encourage her husband to go ahead and talk to that woman passing by or go ahead and marry someone else. Infact she should stop that woman and ask her to talk to her husband or show pictures os single woman to her husband. When the husband sees he can't get her jealous anymore he will stop himself. I am assuming her husband is of decent character.

    -AJ

    -AJ


  5. #5
    amnice is offline Junior ILite
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    City
    indy
    State
    indy
    Country
    India
    Posts
    206

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    It is not right for her husband to hurt her feelings this way knowingly and then console her. TOO BAD!!!
    But Iswarya, sometimes people need to be even taught to be sensitive to others feelings.
    In your friends case no matter what, he is just not listening or changing .......right?
    She has even tried doing the same to him and even that does not change him......right?

    Then the only option I can think of is........ IGNORING!!!!

    There is nothing as peaceful as ignoring someone's stupidity. Tell her to ignore him even if it is hurting. Try this and see. He is getting attention from her when he starts talking all rubbish so he thinks his motive to first hurt her is working well and hence continuing non stop.

    Once she starts ignoring this behaviour and foolish talk of his, then he may not find it interesting to carry on too.

    That being said, she can do one more thing too. I dont think anyone would like to opt for this. I myself hate to do it. This is join him in his NONSENSE talk. Tell her that whenever he starts this talk she should be asking questions like..."WOW!! Is that lady so beautiful, what is so attractive in her, what do you like in her? how does she look like, has she got big boobs? How is her butt? what is she wearing??blah, blah blah......all shameless talk which a woman may find it hard to do.........All the talk should concentrate on 'that woman and her body' only.

    That way your friends most insensitive husband may find it too awkward and odd for a woman ie., his wife, to be talking like this about another woman and he may get the message.

    Sometimes, these some men get the pleasure out of making a woman hurt assuming that the wife is actually being jealous. I mean they like it when the wife is jealous about other woman and insecured about her own looks.
    So, tell her to pose as though she is infact more interested in that other woman which may check her husband's nonsense.

    Iswarya, the world is full of all different varieties of people and mentalities so we need to try out different things and see which one fits as a perfect cure to the stupidity that we are surrounded by........
    Each situation is different and so if direct expressing our feelings does not work we need to find some other way.

    If I were in your friends situation I would IGNORE MY STUPID HUSBAND AND HIS RUBBISH TALK!!!!

    Good luck!!!!


  6. #6
    rose8282's Avatar
    rose8282 is offline Gold ILite
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    City
    xyz
    State
    *******
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    1,571

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Every day,every other hour seems too much.Seems like he likes to see her jealous and then derives happiness from consoling her.Everything is fine till the point the girl is ok...but apparently,she does not like it and is getting hurt.so it has to stop.once in a while is ok..but this will irritate anyone.tit for tat does not seem to work on him...how about telling him seriously or not talking for a while or similar ways to get the point across?


  7. #7
    SriVidya75's Avatar
    SriVidya75 is offline IL Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2009
    City
    My City
    State
    My State
    Country
    United States
    Posts
    7,318

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Quote Originally Posted by ajain35 View Post
    I am assuming her husband is of decent character.
    -AJ

    -AJ
    If he is not decent this idea would backfire and at the same time OPs friend can see the true nature of her husband..either way...worth trying..


  8. #8
    iswaryadevi's Avatar
    iswaryadevi is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    YYY
    Country
    India
    Posts
    3,766
    Blog Entries
    36

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Quote Originally Posted by keerthanasundar View Post
    yes this is a prob.. why he cnt change a little for her? why he is getting entertained in hurting her feelings? this has to be changed.
    women do sacrifice a lot buy men cannot just change so easily. it will take years for them to change. i believe..
    I believe, he does not like to hurt her, but the cajoling part that happens later. But I dop agree, he needs to change a lil. Thanks for dropping in with your comments.

    IL Book Club - February 2014 - 'It Had to Be You'

    Do read my thriller stories, one of which was the 'Finest Post Winner" for the month of Jan'11..!!!

    Final Adieu
    Lost Wisdom

  9. #9
    iswaryadevi's Avatar
    iswaryadevi is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    YYY
    Country
    India
    Posts
    3,766
    Blog Entries
    36

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Quote Originally Posted by SriVidya75 View Post
    might be ask her to try his trick on him....and see how he retaliates and give him his own medicine.

    She tried it, but she says her hubby did not react at all...

    IL Book Club - February 2014 - 'It Had to Be You'

    Do read my thriller stories, one of which was the 'Finest Post Winner" for the month of Jan'11..!!!

    Final Adieu
    Lost Wisdom

  10. #10
    iswaryadevi's Avatar
    iswaryadevi is offline Platinum ILite
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    City
    XXX
    State
    YYY
    Country
    India
    Posts
    3,766
    Blog Entries
    36

    Default Re: How to handle teasing hubby?

    Quote Originally Posted by ajain35 View Post
    Coming to how to stop.... she should not get annoyed but encourage her husband to go ahead and talk to that woman passing by or go ahead and marry someone else. Infact she should stop that woman and ask her to talk to her husband or show pictures os single woman to her husband. When the husband sees he can't get her jealous anymore he will stop himself. I am assuming her husband is of decent character.

    Thanks a lot for your advice. I will ask her to try it. BTW, your assumption is correct. He is really a very decent guy.

    IL Book Club - February 2014 - 'It Had to Be You'

    Do read my thriller stories, one of which was the 'Finest Post Winner" for the month of Jan'11..!!!

    Final Adieu
    Lost Wisdom

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 07:10 PM.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282