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Surprise gifts between husband & wife

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SallyR, Nov 3, 2010.

  1. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Swasa,

    It is not 'simpliciy'. Some (not all) men, do not enjoy the concept of gifting some one..........and getting gifts from some one. To them, it sounds like a ridiculous kids' game. 'If one wants something, why can't he / she go to the shop and purchase himself / herself ?' this is how they think. Even I also used to think the same way. Only when I learnt, how much my DW loves to get gifts, I , artificially learnt that habit. (Even now, when I gift her, it looks like a silly kids' game to me).

    Of course, there may be men, who may like giving / getting gifts as much as women do. Your man and I belong to the former variety. But, be patient............soon your DH will learn slowly, how important the act of gifting is to you. That art of making him realise this precious information, without himself feeling fed up about the very concept of gifting, lies on your smart efforts. My wife was smart enough. Yet, it took years for her, to make me realise this..........!! Good Luck !!
     
  2. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    I agree that men and women see things differently. While I don’t mind discussing things with him before proceeding, in this occasion I can confidently say that even if he doesn’t like the gift I buy for him he won’t take it the wrong way. I’m not planning buy anything that expensive, so the worse case scenario would be…he fakes that he likes it!:biglaugh

    S R
     
  3. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Okay. Sally. I appreciate the above reply.

    But.........what I am wondering is............if he fakes that he likes it,..........dont you think, 'faking' for any reason is not good in a marriage ?

    How does, 'faking' sound a small deal to you ? To me , it is a big deal.
     
  4. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    ‘faking’ is a big deal for me too but for big issues. We are honest with each other about all important issues but when it comes to trivial things I don’t like him to be brutally honest. Like when I ask him ‘Does this outfit make me look fat’…what I want to hear is 'No sweetheart' not 'Yes'. I do know him well enough now to know when he is being completely honest and when he is just being polite. But if I want his real response I can always ask him seriously what he really thinks and he would give me an honest answer. It’s just the way I’m and he just goes with it to keep me happy.

    S R
     
  5. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    In my case, I typically dont like giving fake answers, so either my DW asks me knowing she'll get a real response, or better not ask me the question. LOL!
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2010
  6. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    I appreciate the way in which you explained the difference between "being brutally honest" and "being just polite".

    Good way of putting it. It is often called "a white lie". You r right. We often find ourselves in a compulsion to say such 'white lies".
     
  7. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Sally,
    We dont believe in gifts though some times my DH do surprise with gifts. :thumbsup
     
  8. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    Ha ha...if both of you are happy with it then that's the best :cheers

    Yes...that's what I meant :exactly:
    That's Sweet :)
     
  9. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    I personally believe it depends on the couples...gifts as surprises or just gifts without surprises,might not be liked or received well by all...the husband and wife has to know whether their partners likes to get surprises or gifts as such...it is not that we dont have to buy gifts but if the partner is not too much into gifts,the gifting person shouldn't feel bad if they dont get good appreciation for the gifts....JMO

    I really love surprises and love giving them too...i often surprise my DH by gifts(not necessarily for some occasion but just when i feel like i ll get him)...DH on the other side loves giving me gifts but just like most husbands doesn't know what to get for me and bad at surprises...even if he tries to surprise,he would leak out the information some how....hehehehe..poor guy... .i know him and hence i dont mind....but when we go out,he would select for me or ask me to buy girlie things,even when i dont want to buy that item..i feel this too is kind of a gift for me or to say a surprise gift..
     
  10. marry325

    marry325 New IL'ite

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    In modern complex world all the married Couples have become so busy in their career but on a special Occasion like your Husband's birthday ,your marriage anniversary, you need to show to your husband that you are care for him .
     

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