Found or Lost a Friend in my spouse, is friendship the flavor of good marriage

Nice thread, Mals.
Ours was an arranged marriage 18 years ago.
eventhough we have common qualities, we have arguments on many things to clear our doubts!
He has become a friend of mine maybe only 4 years ago, don't worry, he was a friend before but became close only 4 years ago.

sriniketan

Hi all
Very nice topic. I found a friend in my husband. We fight a lot a lot lot but my policy is end of day he is my husband n I am his wife thats never going to change so if the mistake is mine I will sorry in few minutes and he will do the same.(but will ask sorry little quicker than me)

I saw a mother in him, when I had c-section he was there all the time. He wasn't just sitting, when I had go to the toilet he came inside helped (only he did all that)with cleaning, changing (it was so smelly) but he did that. Even now when he come home he will take care of my daughter n gives me full rest (of course my little one won't allow)

I am so great full to god to have a wonderful husband. I said no this alliance (very frustrated by chatting with guys [first they will chat later they will say no]) n after 1 month they called again n rest is history.
"Inarku Inar "-Its true in my case.

Cheers
-DSrini

This is a very interesting topic! For me, friendship is very different than what I have with my husband. My closest friend is still not directly affected by my decisions, so I can talk to her freely, but at the same time, we don't have a life together, just two parallel lives.

I had the luck to get to know my husband in a very slow manner, and in all honesty we considered each other plainly academic friends for quite a while (in the meantime, we were thousands of miles away and never had met so that helped dissect exactly how we felt). I had never been in love with anyone before, and neither had he. And for me, it was very very clear once it happened (again, while we were apart). Because what I felt wasn't friendship, it was devotion. Not in the blind kind of acceptance and following and adapting fully to his wishes, but in a simpler, deeper way. I wanted to be there for him even if his decisions would affect my life. That was the biggest difference. And that's exactly how I feel even now, after several years. But he's an extremely kind man, so he makes it really easy. He never expected anything from me, he took me at face value and grew surprised when I tried to be flexible. And that was exactly what made me want to give him everything and anything I'll ever have.

Marisa...that last sentence of yours is so beautiful and is exactly what I feel. My DH and I are the best of friends (ours was an arranged marriage 5 yrs back) and like many have said before we fight and argue but in the end I know that he will always be there for me and I couldnt ask for a better husband and friend.

Vanathi.

Hi DSrini,

I liked the way you placed your hubby on your mom's pedestal that throws spectrum on your love for him. In love, people scale mountains easily, have you not heard of it?

Thanks for being here...

Yeah Mals "Love is Blind"

Cheers
-DSrini

Hi Marisa,

Love has to be natural and easy flowing. We should never do something because I want to do. You should just do it and it should come naturally. Later, when we cane our head we suddenly realize that few things in life is done straight from the heart and the head has become a mere spectator. And here steps in love. You have slowly but steadily fallen in love with your husband and have discovered he loves you truly. When you smell true love, you should never let it go. Thats what you are doing, by being flexible. It has to come from within. No adjustments for the sake of adjustment.

Bye

Hi Aadhusmom.

You are indeed lucky to have a friend in your husband. Petty fights and arguments are essential to keep the relationship healthy as far as ego does not step in and spoil the show. Love has to rule and win....

Bye