Life After Divorce

Hello i used to read this forum very regularly and this is my first post.
I have been married from last four years.and planning to leave my abusive husband soon . i have some questions
-is it Okay to feel frightened/nervous/scared about divorce. how is the life after divorce in India . I have heard that people are changing there thinking are changing nowadays parents also support there daughters.
Most of us stay in the relationship because of the society.God Please give me
strength.

So sorry to hear about your current situation. Divorce is a very traumatic decision to make under any circumstances, especially in cases where abuse is involved. I applaud you for gathering the courage to get out of a bad relationship. That takes guts and you seem to have plenty of it.

Yes in India today, divorce is becoming common-place, especially in the metros. According to a recent study, as many as 1 out of 6 marriages in mumbai ultimately are leading to divorces. So it is becoming more acceptable to be divorced and live a respectful life in society. The parents attitude depends on the parents themselves but yes, with the stigma of divorce fading, more and more parents can openly support their daughters. This is not to say that there will not be people who point fingers at you or make snide comments, but it has definitely become more easier to live the life of a divorcee in Indian metros.

Not too familiar with the smaller cities, my observances are based on metros only. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. God will give you the strength to overcome this situation. Have faith.

What is more important is your self respect and your happiness. Not about society or family (some women may not agree with me on this)
Having said that, I feel most of the marriages could work out with proper counselling and proper help. We have plenty of good counsellors on this forum (I am not sure if they are professionals, they are far better than some of the professionals I have seen), so it might help if you perform a situation assessment first, before taking a decision.
It is very easy to say divorce.......not that easy to live with the decision.

Good luck.

HI Iram

It is normal to feel scared, frightened and anxious when seeking divorce. Anxiety is more when kids are involved. Divorce should be considered when the pros of staying alone outweigh the cons of staying together. Its always better to be alone than in bad company. The part that rots has to be chopped off. One does feel incomplete at times but adjusts with that incompleteness with time and is happy to be alive.

Its certainly not an easy decision to take. As far as society is concerned, it varies from place to place. People do talk, but then people talk about everyone. One has to learn to snub them and carry on with ones life. Parents are now supportive of their daughter's decision. However, to make divoce less traumatic, I suggest you to go for divorce with mutual consent. there is less of heartburn in that. Sit across the table, discuss out things and separate. Again, this is easier said than done.

Best wishes
Ansh