Dirvorce is a curse to whole family

skalluri · Jan 14, 2016

Being a sister of Divorced person in the family. I feel Divorce is curse to whole family. Divorce is a trauma which affects all family members like mother, father,siblings and their relationships between them. It is a real challenge to their characters and behaviour to be good to each other and support each other in the time of crisis. When every thing is going smooth, it is easy to talk about positive attitude and support another person, but it is when you or your family member is going through the crisis like Divorce the real you comes out.

Divorce doesnt end just by itself.. sometime it takes away family members who are elder in the family like father or mother who are old, that is trauma on top of the trauma.

Divorce creates the past regrets, uncertainity in the present and insecurity and fear of the future.

Divorce creates kind of sturborn nature in the family members where they dont listen to each other or respect each other and dont trust each other.. that means it seperates family members too.

In some cases, children of divorced parents will also get affected, challenging to single parent to raise that child. Child also has to face many questions from society , loses the love of either father or mother, future of child may become uncertain and insecured.

If the family members are not keeping positive attitude during this time, it is hard to be good and support each other, by any chance if there is one person who is trying to support other family members, it is exhausting to that person and he/she becomes helpless.

Mnay of you can relate to it if you or your family is going through this trauma, am I right? Just want to pen down my feelings .

Rihana · Jan 14, 2016

skalluri said: ↑

... Divorce doesnt end just by itself.. sometime it takes away family members who are elder in the family like father or mother who are old, that is trauma on top of the trauma.
...
Divorce creates kind of sturborn nature in the family members where they dont listen to each other or respect each other and dont trust each other.. that means it seperates family members too.
... by any chance if there is one person who is trying to support other family members, it is exhausting to that person and he/she becomes helpless.
Click to expand...

Often true.

Divorce of a child can make parents emotionally bankrupt. More so, if the divorced child lives with them. It does create a 'stubborn' nature in the family members, and sometimes they don't want to listen to reason- more so from family members who are not related to them by blood.

While overall, it is sometimes necessary to divorce, and the life of the divorced person is better off than if he/she remained in that marriage, the impact to all involved cannot be denied.

It works out better if after initial emotional and logistical support for say 1-3 years, the divorced person is able to take charge of his/her life, instead of expecting special treatment or consideration life long.

It gets to be a drag when the now-single person shows no interest in marrying again, wants to live unmarried, but keeps moaning how difficult life is as a single person, and when they approach 50's and 60's, and parents too old or gone, they expect siblings and nieces/nephews to pitch in.

StrongLady · Jan 15, 2016

Dear OP,
Your feelings and thinking are exactly like mine. I said this in my heart many times that divorce is like curse to entire family. I am in the same situation as yours and completely agree with what you said.
There is lot of pain thinking abt past, no excitement abt today and fear about future. The person got divorce might feel, i am only suffering and rest of the family members are fine. Also we do not want to pain the person more syaing we are sad because of their situation. But infact keep trying to give them hope.

And yes there are lot of arguments in family and all of a sudden feel, that our family has completely failed. and i just cannot imagine how much worst the parents will feel seeing the kid.
I keep wondering when we will be out of this dark phase and will the good time ever come back??

skalluri said: ↑

Being a sister of Divorced person in the family. I feel Divorce is curse to whole family. Divorce is a trauma which affects all family members like mother, father,siblings and their relationships between them. It is a real challenge to their characters and behaviour to be good to each other and support each other in the time of crisis. When every thing is going smooth, it is easy to talk about positive attitude and support another person, but it is when you or your family member is going through the crisis like Divorce the real you comes out.

Divorce doesnt end just by itself.. sometime it takes away family members who are elder in the family like father or mother who are old, that is trauma on top of the trauma.

Divorce creates the past regrets, uncertainity in the present and insecurity and fear of the future.

Divorce creates kind of sturborn nature in the family members where they dont listen to each other or respect each other and dont trust each other.. that means it seperates family members too.

In some cases, children of divorced parents will also get affected, challenging to single parent to raise that child. Child also has to face many questions from society , loses the love of either father or mother, future of child may become uncertain and insecured.

If the family members are not keeping positive attitude during this time, it is hard to be good and support each other, by any chance if there is one person who is trying to support other family members, it is exhausting to that person and he/she becomes helpless.

Mnay of you can relate to it if you or your family is going through this trauma, am I right? Just want to pen down my feelings .
Click to expand...

catwalk · Jan 18, 2016

No one choose for a divorced life. Every person on this planet is expecting to lead a normal, happy peaceful life. But due to various circumstances, divorce become inevitable. In fact, that is the last step in most of the divorces after trying every possible means to ''save'' that relationship.

It affects everyone in the family. Main impact is on the children born in the broken family. Every parent spent their life to bring up their children and wishes see them leading a peaceful settled life. When a marriage breaks, it is destroying the dream and life of all associated people in the family.

My advice is to take time before marriage to assess the person's character and family
background before you jump into any relationship. It is better to marry from the known circle, to a known person. Always marry with the consent and blessing from
parents. The more we swept in peace, the less we bleed in war.

abmind · Jan 25, 2016

catwalk said: ↑

No one choose for a divorced life. Every person on this planet is expecting to lead a normal, happy peaceful life. But due to various circumstances, divorce become inevitable. In fact, that is the last step in most of the divorces after trying every possible means to ''save'' that relationship.

It affects everyone in the family. Main impact is on the children born in the broken family. Every parent spent their life to bring up their children and wishes see them leading a peaceful settled life. When a marriage breaks, it is destroying the dream and life of all associated people in the family.

My advice is to take time before marriage to assess the person's character and family
background before you jump into any relationship. It is better to marry from the known circle, to a known person. Always marry with the consent and blessing from
parents. The more we swept in peace, the less we bleed in war.
Click to expand...

Can't agree more but the pressure of love is high in today's school and work environment and teens are not equipped to over come this yet and parents are not aware of it.

Divorce is a curse for both the partners, it is important to give time for another and respect the others thoughts. The beauty of Indian marriages lies in negligible divorce rate but things are getting worst now a days.