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Awaiting divorce match - Adultry case

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by nolife, Dec 9, 2015.

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  1. Dec 9, 2015 #1
    nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Hi IL's,
    I got this match on a dating app. Well couple of my friends suggested me to try it out so I tried.
    We chatted initially and he told that his wife filed an adultery case against him where as she actually cheated on him and she already have a boyfriend.

    Upon few interactions i was quite attracted to him and chatted little more than required . S** chat for some time.

    He came to my city where I am living due to office work and I met him by telling lies to my parents. I met him in restaurant and he initiated s** chat . I kept quite and I did not continue that further. I told him that i had s** chat with others as well so that i do not put him in wrong sense.

    I have asked him more details about his marriage and divorce . All I understand is that he was married in 2011 and his ex did not allow him to touch her.
    They lived together for 1.5yrs and got separated. His ex confessed that she had physical relation before marriage it seems. He told me that he had sex only for couple of times with wife.

    From all the interaction and time spend he seemed desperate and wanted to be in relation. We hold hands and walked to near by cafe and chit chatted again.

    He wanted to take me to massage spa to get me relaxed and I denied it. I did not get him more closer though. He is telling me that his ex is demanding some 35-40 lakhs to withdraw the case. With what ever he told, it looks like he is honest but i am not sure.

    What are the proofs needed for adultery case to be proved? He is telling that his wife has to prove and she does not have any proofs as he was honest.

    Guys what do you suggest for me on this ?
     
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    #1
    1 person likes this.
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  2. Dec 9, 2015 #2
    Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    Somehow it sounds very fishy to me. Please get to know the guy very well before proceeding further. He doesn't sound honest to me somehow - initiating intimate talk on first meet (even though you might have chatted before), trying to coerce into massage parlor.

    About adultery case -:

    Adultery law in India - Adultery a Ground for divorce - lawyers
     
    Cool10, Dec 9, 2015
    Cool10, Dec 9, 2015
    #2
    1 person likes this.
  3. Dec 9, 2015 #3
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...seriously?This naive?
    Some flaws are not worth taking a risk with.Proceed very cautiously if you want to give him a chance and don't invest yourself emotionally till you are 100% sure.
    To me ...he is a red flag.
     
    yellowmango, Dec 9, 2015
    yellowmango, Dec 9, 2015
    #3
    sindmani, AnonyMouse, nolife and 1 other person like this.
  4. Dec 9, 2015 #4
    momsky

    momsky Gold IL'ite

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    Don't be desperate. Find someone less complicated.
     
    momsky, Dec 9, 2015
    momsky, Dec 9, 2015
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  5. Dec 9, 2015 #5
    sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Frankly this guy seems very shady. Without being in a serious relationship, no decent guy will just initiate sex chat to a woman who is practically a stranger. That alone reeks of creepiness. I mean who meets someone in person for the first time and start taking crap that too in a public place?

    Nothing in his story based of what you describe adds up. You need to reassess this guy.
     
    sdiva20, Dec 9, 2015
    sdiva20, Dec 9, 2015
    #5
    sindmani, StarInMe, Shina and 4 others like this.
  6. Dec 9, 2015 #6
    KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    why is he telling about the money he has to pay to his wife, to withdraw a case against him?

    Slowly will he drag you also to collect that much money, so that he come come clean(?) out of the cases and u can marry him?

    Don't even talk to him. he wants sex and money.
     
    KashmirFlower, Dec 9, 2015
    KashmirFlower, Dec 9, 2015
    #6
    sindmani, StarInMe, Lakshmipav and 1 other person like this.
  7. Dec 9, 2015 #7
    nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Some how i feel i should not have encouraged him for sex chat.. i was so drawn and did it.. Looks like i have given him leniency
     
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    #7
  8. Dec 9, 2015 #8
    nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    He did not talk about the money. I have asked him about how much she is demanding then only he disclosed me.

     
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    nolife, Dec 9, 2015
    #8
  9. Dec 9, 2015 #9
    CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    It depends what you are looking for. If you want to have a casual sexual relationship he seems to be a good candidate. But I would not consider him as a candidate for a serious relationship.
     
    CrayoNess, Dec 9, 2015
    CrayoNess, Dec 9, 2015
    #9
  10. Dec 9, 2015 #10
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Be careful; think and act. As you would with any prospective guy.

    I don't think he is that much of a red-flag as require you to run run run far away from him. The divorce and marriage after that area is still new in the Indian scenario. Rules and protocols are not so strongly in place as in the west.

    Sex outside marriage is still mostly taboo. When in the grey-area of still-married awaiting divorce, it becomes even more hazy. You also did give some encouragement and told him (truly or otherwise) that you sex-chatted with others too.

    You could just slow down the pace of things. Tell him it is going too fast. Lessen the communication. Talk about other stuffs too. Don't make his divorce and its proceedings your problem. Acknowledge to him that his divorce might take time, but don't be a convenient shoulder for him to weep on. Don't be a temporary "meanwhile" entertainment for him. Be aware of risks like if things don't work out, he might share that sex-chat stuff with your future prospects.

    What do your friends say, the ones who suggested you give him a try? Sometimes, friends who know the whole background, and know you, can give more personalized advice.
     
    Rihana, Dec 9, 2015
    Rihana, Dec 9, 2015
    #10
    SGBV and nolife like this.
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