Disturbed after seeing inlaws

anjuanju · Dec 9, 2015

I am divorced a year ago. I saw my inlaws couple of days ago . They look so happy. Their son (was my husband) is nearing 40 years now and not yet re married and they have a daughter(my husband sister) is in the process of divorce proceedings. Her husband could not bear her torture and left his wife and daughter in USA a year back and started living in India. She does not work in USA. Completely depends on My husband and he pays for comfort living of his sister and her daughter. Not sure how many years he can support her both emotionally and financially. What did they gain in life by making me move out of the house . My husband has bad habits inspite of being very well educated and high paying job. All these are coming to my mind from the time I see them . Could not stop thinking. Divorced life is thought . Living with them is tough. I try my level best keep positive and try to have energy to face the reality of life. But it is too tough. Some time even today I feel I should have continued living with my husband and bear what ever they do as getting good matches is really tough after divorce. Society also does not respect and value divorced women. Some times I feel living alone is better than living with them . I feel some times it is better to die instead of living with so much of stress .

Onesweetlife · Dec 9, 2015

Dear.

Try to forget the past! Though, Easily said than Done, its for your good. Why wasting your positive mind set, thinking of them. They dont deserve any space in your present and future. Sure thing!

Concentrate on other things!

Our fellow ilites would be able to give better advise.

May satguru Sairam be with you!

Cheers
Sweetlife

nolife · Dec 9, 2015

I feel the same but unfortunately nothing much can be done. In my case I am the one to bear the brunt .. Ex is happily remarried with the kid where as I am still hunting.

Indhi89 · Dec 9, 2015

Anju,

i am sorry to hear this. but once divorced you try to move on.. try to socialize and make new friends. i hope yo will find an understanding partner.. i know that you got divorced a year ago.. so the pain and wound will be still there.. try to move on to a different city or try to shift to a new home and make friends there.. spend time with the people who really cares for you. take a lot of time to understand and analyse yourself. I hope things will get better for you. please dont take any negative decisions. we have only one life. pls dont waste it ending up badly.

take care dear.
Indhi

anahita5 · Dec 9, 2015

Appearance are deceptive. we smile and go around our business even in pain, don't we. I would suggest to stop thinking about the past and people from the past and concentrate on future. Tell yourself everyday that you deserve better than the second class treatment you were dished out and a bright future awaits you.

Metamorphic · Dec 12, 2015

Anju, Hugs to you!!

But dear, why are you beating yourself because of such shameless people? May be they are just acting happy before you and others. Let me tell you one thing. May be there is chance that they are happy that you are out of the house. But they must be devastated with the divorce of their daughter. No one can be happy with a divorced situation of daughter that too with a kid. May be what they did to you came back to them.

With divorce your marriage is a closed chapter now. Your ex and his people are nobody to you. Let them be happy or go to hell. why should you care??

For some time, avoid places where you will likely run into them. Stay away completely. This is necessary for your healing.

Loneliness is a feeling inside you. A person can be in marriage and still be lonely. A single person can be happy without any loneliness. Life has been unfair. Yes! but you don't have to hate yourself for that. I know its hard but trust in GOD and yourself and move on. Keep going.. never say die!! You are valuable and wonderful. Its just that you are not able to comprehend it coz you are down.

Hugs!!

omnam · Dec 14, 2015

Firstly, stop addressing him as your husband. He is not your husband anymore.

Do you think they are really happy?! whatever we see from outside not necessary to be true. We always have this fear that our ex will be living a happy life leaving us. Its just your fear.

Their daughter going through divorce too with a child in hand. Do you think their relatives will not point out that the karma of whats done to DIL is coming back to daughter!

Now, society is bad. But don't carried forward with what they think about you. You better find the kind of guy whom you are looking for. Your marital status of divorcee doesn't make you less desirable. Till you feel you are less desirable...none can deny you.

indoc · Dec 14, 2015

@OP...
Give it time.. as they say "Karma is a B***"..,,,

Iamagoodgirl · Dec 15, 2015

Op you are still in the process of grieving.Give yourself self time to move on.

Katakam123 · Dec 15, 2015

Life has a lot of parts, marriage is just one of them, it is not ur fault if the marriage did not work out, god has set his own reason for everything, you are born for a reason, obviously it is not to see your ex face and his family face. Do what you are best in and excel, never look back.