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mentally abusive interfaith marriage

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ravioli1970, Aug 22, 2015.

  1. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    There are many marriages where a boy marries and leaveshis wife alone in India and goes to south Africa.His parents, sister says he is so good,god fearing, respecting elders, know driving,computer all false/fraud. Even in matrimonial sites many cheaters cheat…but atlast a girl suffers TO GET OUT OF ALL THIS TROUBLE. After marriage a girl is told by husband and inlaws to leave the job and join them in abroad..and register the marriage and put her martial status in passport…she updates her martial status but her husband cheats he doesn’t update..She obeys them leaves her job but atlast she waits for months, years but they make her fool and she is left with no option…and even for her daily expenses she is not given any money.Husband stops even to give some money for her…poor girl and her parents becomes the victim of this cruel husband and inlaws..and when this girls thinks to join a job she is left with no option when she is born that place relatives and friend starts talking what happened to this girl see her husband went and she is still in her parents house..something wrong happened with her..to get a job also is difficult after years of gap…and even employer asks u r married where is your husband..if she says abroad she is not given job they think she will also go..but poor lady is rejected due to this and she doesn’t get job on the otherside she is struggling and inlaws and husband are enjoying..inorder to do marriage with a good family girl inlaws say all lie about there family..and in the starting while arranging the marriage inlaws says we want nothing even if the girl come like this after marriage ok we just want a good girl for my son but some days before of marriage inlaw starts sending emails of list of demand…and poor girl family does.. but after all the expenses spend inorder to fulfill inlaws demand the bride is treated with no respect even the sister-in-law troubles..and even the husband says who are you my parents and all are my blood…he forgets that he married to a girl who left her home and now here where she should get some love she is hated even though she is in sorrow thinking about the days she lived in her parents house and thinking about parents…the husband and inlaws troubles..


    1. Always confirm the person's identity and details.
    2. Do not exchange money before marriage. Dowry is meant for the bride to protect her incase of husband's death.
    3. Get common blood tests done before marriage. Nowadays people with AIDS are tricking into marriage as we do not do this as a requirement for marriage.
     
  2. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    @moderator

    this post contains very disturbing pictures and should come with some sort of warning...
    very disturbing indeed..
     
  3. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    If all women say this. How will we learn and help ourselves and other women? There are things in life we should be aware of even if they are not pleasant to see. I hope you understand. These are all happening in real life, not just my propaganda. Whether you are male or female you should know how people are exploited. We need to be aware of things happening in this world. Even if it saves one life it is a success.
     
  4. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    (Pardon me for my language and correct it if possible, I come from a relatively uneducated background)

    Dreadful in my case.
    I am a Hindu, used to live in mithi, (sindh - pakistan), probably the only town in pakistan with hindu majority .

    It was 2005, My neighbor (my best muslim friends) had their daughter's wedding some time in December. Knowing the pitiful condition of non-islamic people in Pakistan I decided against taking my kids to the function, I myself wouldn't have gone had it not been for their special request.

    I along with my wife went to the party, being the outcast no-one really bothered talking to us, we saw their ritual being performed, gave gifts to bride and groom, after having our dinner we decided to get back early, kids had their exams next day.

    While we were walking back to the garage in the basement, all of a sudden someone put a strong rope round my neck, trying to suffocate me, with such sudden attack I couldn't keep up neither see who they were. I fainted, once I was awake I found myself lying in some desert area with nothing in vision. I felt immense pain, as if having been beaten. I could not stand up that entire day, struggled to walk by the dawn , somehow reached nearby highway by next morning and managed to get a lift. I reached my home that evening, only to find all my belongings robbed, even the plastic chairs and TV set were gone, my children had been beaten too, I could not find my wife there. I reached out to my neighbors, but most of them had gone to pay visit to their wedding counterparts unaware of what happened to us. I went to the police station to file a complain against the attack and disappearance of my wife. They didn't seem too interested in filing complain, they asked me to wait for a few days, made abusive comments on my wife that she might have fled with her lover and having pleasure with him. I fought for her dignity which only led to being jailed for that whole night.
    Never saw my wife again, never knew what happened to her.

    Finally after my neighbors returned, they helped us a lot, they came along with me to police station, police finally reported my complain but then that was about it, I don't think they cared much about the case. My neighbors were very sympathetic and helped us a lot emotionally and financially.
    They shifted to karachi next year, putting their flat on rent.

    Life went back to normal, my girl was in high school by 2011 and boy in college.
    I went to pickup my girl everyday from her tuition.
    This January she didn't turn up after her tuition was over, I went about asking her usual friends and then her tuition teacher, he said that they held a surprise test today, she completed her test early, submitted her sheet and went out. I started panicking, went about searching for her, didn't tell my son, he had internship set in Lahore, he'd have left everything and come.
    Police didn't help again this time, I went about searching for her everywhere on highways, nearby lakes, showed her photo to every one I came across. After 4 days, I lost all hope, called my son up that night, sitting like a beggar by the road side, cried for the first time in front of my kid, like a helpless father.
    He came back in 2 days time, we went to Karachi to seek help from police there, they seemed quite supportive, they asked us to go back home and that they'd do all they could to find her.

    Next day while I was sitting in my balcony, analyzing my life, how I failed my wife and now my kid I saw her coming, With torn clothes about her, I knew then what had happened to her. They raped her for 5 days, made her do unusual things I cannot explain.
    I decided then to leave pakistan, applied for visa to India, but it was denied, possibly because of the tension on pakistan-India border due to some soldier beheading case.
    We went to Saudi Arabia in march and then to India just last month (October) .

    My daughter never regained her usual self and has tried committing suicide twice. If anything , pray for her well being.

    I hope I never have to go back to Pakistan ever.

    Edit : Thank you all for your prayers and blessings, such response was unexpected, I am overwhelmed . I would like to clear here that Pakistan is a country divided by religion, politician and terrorism. Not all of them are bad, my neighbors were the best thing that could have happened to us. They made our fight their own while they were with us. I wanted to meet them before leaving Pakistan, but could not.

    EDIT : Just wanted to clear this out friends, I do not blame Islam religion for what happened to me.

    There are Islamic countries like Turkey, Indonesia among several others living in peace and harmony.

    These are minority *islamic extremist groups* in pakistan, who do notorious stuffs in the name of religion. Being the most visible ones people usually consider their action as religious act and believe that others must also be doing the same.

    I pity not only pakistani hindus but also common muslims who have to bear the brunt of such groups.

    EDIT: found this link, I'd say, this exactly is the untold situation of my country. Glad they finally came up with some law, though I suspect it would be much effective Page on indiafacts.co.in


    Updated 13 Dec, 2014View Upvotes











    [​IMG]
    Ravi Ahuja, Lived until 201119.8k Views



    My answer might offend some people, but I won't answer anonymously. I will try my best to explain my experience as a Pakistani Hindu.

    To be really honest, deep inside, I feel really bad.

    Before the partition, we were all Hindustani. At the time of partition, our parents decided to live in Pakistan rather than India. Why they chose Pakistan over India is another debate, but I am sure that they were unaware of the price they and their descendants would pay for this decision.

    I have to say that, despite being calm, non-violent and educated citizens, we are not completely owned by the Pakistani people. Yet we are targeted the most in the region. From school life to getting a job, I experienced such discrimination that I can conclude we are not recognised by the Pakistani people yet.

    When I was in school, for the first half an hour students were expected to recite the Quran. Instead of giving us a Hindu religion book to read or something, teachers used to ask us to read the Quran as well. If we couldn't read, then we were expected to listen to the others very carefully. As a child of 3rd or 4th standard (8-10 years), we couldn't argue with a teacher. At that time, we didn't have the sense to figure out our rights were violated. We just did whatever they instructed us to do.

    As I grew older and went to high school, the situation worsened. In high schools, we used to study Islamiat as a subject and the teacher used to call Hindus, 'Kafir' (infidel). We were told Islam was the only mature religion in the world.
    The journey from school to university wasn't easy when people made you feel that your religion was worthless and that you were going to Hell anyway. Therefore, students and teachers made attempts to get us to join their religion (and therefore lead a prosperous life). Not only that but, people made fun of the way Hindus practice religion. They mocked our religion.

    When it came to celebrating festivals, they became even more intolerant. Diwali is a sacred Hindu celebration- like Christmas for Christians and Ramadan for Muslims. I witnessed several occasions where the town government used to gave us a warning for celebrating Diwali. I don't understand what prevented them from letting people of other religions be happy.

    Another issue that a lot of Pakistani people face is 'Blasphemy '. However, only Muslims have the power to use this word against other religions. If anyone dares to speak against Islam, then he/she will be stoned to death. But, no one cares if you speak against Hinduism, Christians or torch their temples or holy books.

    One serious issues for Pakistani Hindus-especially women- is that they get kidnapped, converted to Islam and forcibly married. After that, the girl is sold to third parties.
    No one dares to speak against this barbaric practice. Some people back the so-called religious leaders and as no one takes a stand against it.
    However, if a Hindu guy even thought about such a thing for a Muslim girl, then he and his family would be slaughtered instantly.
    I know of one such incident. The guy and the girl were in love and about to get married. Both of them desired the marriage and were looking forward to it.
    You know what happened next?
    The girl's family became aware of this . They killed the boy's whole family and buried the boy alive in the town near Sukkur, Sindh.

    We are part of a country that says everyone has the equal rights, but in reality that is not the case . Even the Pakistan's 1973 constitution, forbids a person from a minority (Hindu, Christian, Jew and others ) to become Prime Minister or President.
    If the government doesn't recognise and accept us as entirely Pakistani, then how can we expect this from ordinary citizens?

    I just do not understand one thing: why are people are so intolerant ? Why can't they just let other people to do what they want to do?
    I am not pointing fingers, but we are part of the country as well.
    People disrespect our religion but we don't react by killing those people. After all, who are we to decide what is wrong and what is right?

    I believe, every Hindu Pakistani goes through similar situations. Some grin and bear it but others migrate to India. This is why the Hindu population has gone down sharply from 17% (at time of Partition) to around 2 -3%.

    I was born in Pakistan and spent 24 years of my life there. After that I moved to Australia. My family still lives in Pakistan and I visit them once in a year.
    But I need to say this: In spite of all of this, I am pro-Pakistani. Deep down in my heart I love Pakistan.
    I always support the Pakistan team and, I love to watch the when they beat India, specially. My favourite cricketer is Saeed Anwar. My favourite hockey team is the Pakistani one.
    I am proud when any Pakistani makes us proud internationally and I argue with people who speak against Pakistan.
    I have accepted Pakistan as my country through and through.
    Unfortunately, the way people treat us is unacceptable.
    I do not know how far we have to go to prove that we belong and for you guys to accept us as fully Pakistani.










     
  5. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    I'll tell the truth. The important question is, "Are the so called moderates inIndia or Pakistan ready to accept the reality as it, the Tahiti?"
    I've dozens of examples of Hindus kidnapped, trampled and just killed in broad daylight. Sadly many of these were carried by so called tribal mullahs who follow such a cruel form of Islam that I wonder?!
    Educated Muslims sugar coat the plight of Hindus or Christians most of the times. Why? First, they don't want to let others know ( Indians) because honor and ego creeps in. Second, they think they might create trouble for Indian Muslims.
    But enough! I've seen enough by now that I really don't give a ****. I'll tell you these horrific stories are true.
    But I'll tell you what is more horrific! The apathy and half truths of so called educated guys. Where are our philosophers and rationalists! Who can tell the truth fearlessly! Where's Islamic Renaissance!?
    You read these answers like the one by Chauhan saheb. But you can't imagine until you have suffered or you were there.
    I'm ashamed to say that one of my aunts was abducted and forcibly married. Both she and my uncle came from rich, educated family. But he craved for her. I was always creeped out by how easily he got her (sadly abductions in broad daylight from home of a Hindu is still common and people cite Hadith when asked . That's why added a reference . I used to be thankful to Allah that we don't need to fear as we were Muslims and sayyids at that.
    But gradually it dawned on me. The longing of my reclusive aunt for her family. My uncle died early age. And she has to endure being outcast even now. And she was always so humble( she is bedridden now a days). She never asked for her real family. Apparently they were threatened and shifted town. She just shut herself. Never loved my uncle really.

    There, I said it. I'm ashamed for my uncle. Sadly, most of my family and friends are proud of my uncle. Apparently he reserved seats in heaven by converting her to Islam.
    When for the few times I've tried to talk in my circle about the plight of Hindus ( closed circles of friends and family) , I've been ridiculed and rebuffed as it's taboo. Taboo because they deserve to suffer here so they don't suffer in hell fire. As if it is good?!
    If you are a Hindu girl, the goons will have a field day with you! You will be touched, commented upon and harassed. You can't go to police. I specially feel for the educated one because they seriously become timid and live in fear.
    People will down-vote me and try to give defensive answers. I don't have anything against my fellow Muslims. I admire Taslima. Pakistan needs many Taslima Nasreens. I'm alone in my thinking but I feel good because I speak the truth and follow the truth. Isn't that what Allah wants!
     
  6. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    West Pakistanis thought they were pure breed(or pure Muslims) thats why the people from west Pakistan did a lot of discrimination to East.

    They weren't given high positions anywhere, they were treated like second grade citizens in their own land.

    When protests started which were actually happening from late 60s. Pakistan army made harems for mass rapes so that the girls give birth to pure offspring.

    A 7 year old girl to 80 year old girl. No one was spared. Some young girls were kept tied to trees and they raped them many times a day.

    The woman who were married and were disowned by their families and they did mass suicide. I could add the pictures but that would be chilling.

    When red Cross reached to aid after India won 1971 war, they did abortion of many girls and they were given respect in society as brave ladies.

    [​IMG]

    What Bangladesh has seen is nerve wrenching. Rape of 2,50,000 woman.
     
  7. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi. I hope everything worked out. I did not see this post. But don't delay when you have the support of your child before he gets the traits of his father rubbed onto him. If he testifies this in court then your husband won't be able to have much contact with you and courts will provide you and your son legal protection if this is in the US.
     
  8. Viswadaaliah

    Viswadaaliah Silver IL'ite

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    yes u r crt..the pics r disturbing
     
  9. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    You know not everything in life is so pleasant. If you don't know these things happen how do you protect yourself? I am sure even it is mostly those women who are so naive that they think this is not real are the ones who get trafficked to a middle eastern country as sex workers.

    There are so many women trafficked by blindly trusting someone. Would you rather every knows of these incidents or take chance that anyways it is only (0.5% who become victims of such situations)?
     
  10. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    @msindu..

    its not about posting disturbing content.. its about warning the readers what is coming their way...

    I was working my way through the thread post by post and out of no where comes this picture of a bald girl with serious assauts...
     

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