This year has been a great year for 2 of my colleagues/friends who were divorced in the past. Because they were blessed with a new found love and got married recently. I share both of their stories here to give some motivation to those who are looking for a right partner the second time around. Here we go... The first one is 33 years of age. She got married at the age of 23, and delivered a son the next year. Her marriage legally lasted for only 1 year, but they were in fact living separately 3 months post marriage due to misunderstandings. Her ex-husband had an illegal affair before their marriage, and continued the same even after the marriage. Her bad, they did not properly investigate his background before fixing the marriage. Her ex is now married to his affair, and has 2 kids. Although their marriage life is not great as witness say. Now this girl faced real hell life with a tiny baby in hand. Her parents were working; hence asked her to stay under their care. But she refused to stay as a dependent, rather went back to work when her maternity break was over. She had no one to look after her child, as her mom was still working. Her work place was far from her parents' house, so she moved near her work place and found a nanny to look after the baby. Years went by, and she had seen almost all the problems of raising a boy child single-handedly. But she bravely moved on. After sometimes, eventually her dad got retired and offered to stay with her to care for the child. Then her mom also joined. By that time, she was able to own a house for herself. She rejected all the marriage alliances, but never was so desperate to re-marry. She was all happy. Looked after herself very carefully that everyone felt she in fact doesn't need a husband. She learnt to drive, learnt to be independent, and earned better salary. Her child also learnt to be independent and adapted to any changes. Because he lived with many nannies, and in many cities, yet never troubled her mom. After sometimes, she met a colleague at her work place, who also a writer. He always advocates for women's right and equality in his write ups. They have became friends and stayed as friends for years before they actually decided to marry. Now that they are married. The guy was never married before. Since everyone of his family knew this girl and her story before (as they were friends for years), they genuinely accepted this marriage. She is happy now. They are moving to Jordan for work after marriage. The second girl was from a high profiled family. She was a pet girl and always pampered by everyone at home. She had an inter-religious love marriage against the boy's parents. Due to this, her husband was always on guilt. Lot of in laws problems and interference finally led them towards divorce after 5 years of marriage life. They did not have any kids. In fact she was sad that she wasn't blessed with a child then. But now, she feels great about it. Her childhood friend knew all her case since the very beginning. They were in touch via social media although they lived in different countries. Meanwhile, my colleague was really independent, and lived in a hostel while working. This gave her some vision about living all alone. After some years, she met her child hood friend in person, and started a relationship with him. Their relationship ended as a love affair when he offered a shoulder for her to cry as he was too lonely. Finally both families met and decided for their wedding. They are of same caste, group and religion. Now that they are married, and she shared me the good news of her pregnancy just yesterday. See... both the women were indeed happy when they divorced and ready for re-marriage. They did not take any baggage of their previous relationship to their new life (such as anxiety, worry, suspicion etc..etc..) rather they were really really ambitious and careful this time. They were self dependent and they were more matured this time around. They were also open and socially active after their divorce. This allowed them to meet proper people on their own. When I casually asked one of them about their newly wedded life, she said... "I am indeed blessed. Because I had this chance for the second time around. So that I was able to choose the right person based on my wronged experience in the past. Also, I am able to correct myself and present it as a holy gift to my husband. I wouldn't have got this much maturity if it is my first marriage". So, my advice is... Take things positively.... Your life is yet to be started. Always look for the best.
Something encouraging for the ones who thinks its end of life or who doesnt know how to choose a path after a separation!!!!
SGBV, thanks so much for posting this.it really made my day.I was feeling so lonely and hopeless.i was married for 5 yrs.It was hell for me.finally i got divorced last year.I am starting everything from scratch.. i often think about past..the god and the bad..i miss the comfort of having a person in my life.I feel guilty for taking the big step. although i am grateful and happy that i am out of the relationship,i feel confused.. i get scared about future.. thanks for posting this..i feeling hopeful and look forward for a wonderful future.. thanks again..
Good to know that your colleagues were still very lucky to find a right love for them despite having troubles with their first. Perseverance is also important to find your true love.
Dear SGBV , I have read many of your posts & replies. You are doing a great job. I like the way you make the OP's understand about there issues & your support. I personally feel that your views are too good & motivating. Thanks for the support to the required ones. In these days it is hard to find such good n generous friends. I thank IL to give such peoples n friends in our lives.
SGBV, Such an inspiring post. I had many chances to leave my marriage, but I am really scared of the loneliness, society's reaction, and day to day details of living alone. I say 'chances' because, I was given chances to leave from my husband. IF I have stayed, it is because I am scared for myself and kid. But reading your write up about 2 friends is so inspiring. Good things do happen, and to deserving people... One has to be brave, in any circumstances, even after divorce.