Hello ladies! How often do you visit your parents place after marriage?

Tell her the need is the same as her need for her son to visit her or vice versa. Remind her that her son is also married.

 

First, society doesn't really give a damn what US returns are doing. That is a lame excuse. Tell them examples, where your friends are splitting the days equally between 2 families.

Secondly, you have to communicate to them clearly that there are plans at your family that you cannot skip. If she calls for wedding, tell them you are sick or you have distant relatives visiting etc. Do not change your plans, once they see you doing it they will ask for me.

Which world is your husband living in?? how old are you guys btw? All the young couple I personally know in US, have a pretty good set up. But I am sure the first trip is a difficult one since you are breaking some rules imposed on you and setting up the tone for following trips. So..yeah..be firm and polite.

Few things that might helps.even when you are at your parents..call you IL every 2 days and check in with them. If you are going on a trip..call them and tell them you are starting and after reaching you have reached. I know, these are so fake...but we have to do this to maintain some peace

 

"Permissions", "allow", "will let"!! To visit parents! Again people who are adults, working, raising families. Sometimes I wonder we are all in the cavemen era with internet of course.

 

Different family exposure and environment while growing up, than what you or I may have experienced.

 

You tell him that your relatives and neighbours are really looking down upon him and his family for forbidding you from visiting your parents. Tell him that in the (better) circle you come from, it is considered utterly barbaric to trick a girl into not spending enough time with her parents. Then, remain sweet; invent whatever reason for not attending functions with MIL. Just state you are too tired or have other plans. Do not elaborate. Tell her to talk to you in advance if she wants you to be somewhere - and then politely listen to her and refuse it.

Once your husband comes, stay with him for a couple of days and unapologetically tell him you are going to spend more time with your parents (tell him; don't ask if you can) because during the first 8 days there were too many things his parents involved you in.

Don't rationalise or argue or try to explain. use one line - "I want to be with my parents; hence I am going there tomorrow." Let them throw their tantrums. Refuse to budge. Do it with grace though. And leave. What you do now will set the tone for the future.