Abandoned!

hai malar,
i pray for u.u boldly proceed legal action against them.Definitly god will do the good thing.Dont worry .pls.relax ur mind.

 

Dont worry everything will get fine.. have trust in god and life.- Prakash

 

hugsmiley dear u took right path.it's not worthy to stay with the person who is nothing but useless . I don't know when god will punish like this useless persons. It's him who have to regret from losing such a lovely person who stands for him &love .

If u get a chance to speak with him just ask why he has done this and return your mil love . Please don't feel for such person, feel will feel for that. Wish you a loads of happy life in future .

 

Malar,


After you've exhausted all your options to fight tooth and nail to restore your spouse in your life (because you still nurse feelings for him) and every other anfractuous manoeuvre repining for unrequited love (there is nothing wrong), you may wish to follow these practical instructions once you're in subdued and receptive frame of mind and decided to move on in life.


#1
Don't ever be in a contentious marital status. You can either be single or divorced but not singularly married. Since you mentioned that you've already received notice from him, contemplate and take some action before you lose track of him again. Now your life is kaput and you're dejected but 2-3 years from now when you find a upright man you will bewail at your folly for not having secured legal status to re-marry. I've seen people who are totally heart broken — "kya zindagi, kya dard" and by the turn of next summer hound their estranged partners for separation because their life has picked up faster and grand. You may not realize the implications now but the last thing you want in your mind when you are free from this sorrow is having to go through ci-devant jilt. Fortunately we live in a society that expects our reason to take over once our emotions are misfired by adhering to necessary formalism in civil transactions. Once you decide to separate , don't ever delay the proceedings esp. with someone like you husband who is blink-and-vanish kind. You will regret later for not procuring legal attestation to move on in life.



#2
Did you ever face death of a closed one or accident or general trauma in life? You will observe a pattern that pain is ephemeral. Maintain a dairy and write an entry — "I feel horrible today" and append with subsequent states of mind on a weekly basis. Refer to that diary every time you seek affirmation that pain is transient (no, I never practised but few people have vouched that it helps to surmount trauma). I don't want to trivialize your pain but like everything other emotion grief and sorrow are addictive when we wallow for too long. Limber up, rise and dream again.


#3
You're educated, qualified , independent and staying in Malaysia; which means you are already sorted out. The future is determined by how you carry yourself from now.

I can understand there is no point in disclosing marital discord to acquainted outcrop. Just a small caution: A Big no no no ..to that after you are legally divorced. Don't ever try to pretend being a "married woman" once you are legally divorced (again I've seen few women do that wearing mangalsutra and signage of a married lady). People say lot of things, you cannot be serious about taking everyone seriously. Smile and flaunt your 32 pearly teeth. Be careful in future with your monetary savings. The reason I advocate disclosure of marital status is because you never know your secret admirers are lurking in which corner, so to facilitate open approach. Hey, c'mon, you're elegant, intelligent, working and charming lady, you expect me to believe that life is destroyed with one unconscionable man.

No remedy to shrug that feeling but it is likely to fade, let it fade and don't beat yourself too much insanely. Try not to bring this feeling to the fore repeatedly. How can one do that? I've no clue but I think one must cultivate a habit to laugh at one's disastrous moments in life (goodness! saved by a whisker from total ruin). Again it depends on the personality, work out what relieves you from this compulsion to self-flagellate. Again, you may not have to consciously do anything, mostly these nagging feelings fade and the belief and knowledge that indeed they disappear is sufficient to park them illegally in no-parking zone in brain for now.


Life isn't that bad as bad as everyone depicts when tragedy strikes provided you are adaptive or exploitive of your circumstances. Get a strong bearing. Be careful (be very careful with your planning). Don't get too worked up on how others have coped or battled, what matters is your body and mind and how your rein over it. Read books on self-help but always implement what works out best in your case. And when life is back to being crazily amusing and amazing don't forget to pass the message to someone in need (selfish louts! once they find happiness and schmoozing with new-found love forget to do that). Cheer up, you've a great life ahead, just bite into some painful days and you will do fine. Sorry for the long post.